Should a man that didn't want the baby pay maintenance

[dillydallybub]

So as the title says, should a man that didn't want a baby pay maintenance?
Please give me your thoughts and opinions

So who should pay? Will you be expecting other tax payers to pay for his child through universal credit etc just because he says he doesn't want to?

@WiddlinDiddlin he works for the underground so unless he leaves his job he can't avoid the cms being able to find out his earnings through HMRC which is the route I think I'll have to go down

A man has control of his sperm while it remains in his body.

a woman has control over whatever is inside her own body.

if a baby is born, then the baby has control over its own body.

Because humans require additional nurturing outside the womb, whoever provided genetic material is responsible for providing care and resources until the baby is capable of full independence aka adulthood.

so yes, men should at bare minimum pay maintenance.

Contact has nothing to do with maintenance they are two different matters. Again if anything if he is having no contact should be paying more maitnenance as you are shouldering all the costs of raising said child. Idiot (him - not you!).

Doesn’t matter if he wanted baby. It exists and he pays, it’s the way it is.

He doesn’t need to be involved, but he needs to pay.

Not sure why he is surprised, I think they teach this math in school nowadays.

Yeah, but only cause there are no other solutions.

Women have the choice to terminate a pregnancy whereas (rightly) men don't get a say. There's not really a way to make it fair. Maybe smth like the option to sign away all rights to the baby and therefore not be held accountable for maintenance etc

Of course they should

Hahaha so you both decided to have unprotected sex and now he thinks he shouldn't have to pay maintenance?!

It doesn't matter what he thinks. He has to pay maintenance.

@dillydallybub of course he should pay.

Just put the claim in and ignore any further stupidity from him. Obviously you can’t make him take an interest in his own child but he has to pay up.

I'd go further and say abstain.

A condom is not 100% effective and he should know that and only take the risk if he is comfortable woth that. He is responsible for every sperm that leaves his body.

I've been called every name under the sun, And threatened with violence and death, he's tried convincing me he shouldn't pay for a baby he didn't want or have any say over whether it was born. He told me he's skint and living off credit cards, which I know is utter rubbish, he earns around 70k a year

Don’t engage in any further discussion with him, just contact CMS when child is born.

If he’s threatening you with violence and death, I hope you have reported to police?

Absolutely. Pregnancy is a potential outcome every time you have sex. Options for men include only having sex with someone they are happy to have a child with, throw caution to the wind and hope for the best or not bothering.

Yup!! In the words of Jezza Kyle, put something on the end of it!!

If you want consequence free shagging then I think a vasectomy is definitely within the realms of reasonable. Why on earth should men have a lower bar for avoiding consequences than women?

Absolutely. If he does not want to father a child, either get a vasectomy or wear a condom. Applies even to those men who exclaim “but she said she was on the pill” - if his attitude is “I don’t want a baby” then make very fucking sure. Every time. Alternatively, there’s celibacy!

Yes

Yes, he should pay, but do you really want to have the possibility of him interacting with the child??
Unless I was desperate for the money, I’d want a complete break with him having no input at alll, but I know I’m not typical!!!

Yes of course he should pay! Everyone has to take responsibility if they're fertile and choose to be sexually active. If having a baby is a disaster for a man he has the option of not having sex.

Only if he wore a condom on every occasion but a woman sabotaged it beforehand. I'd imagine that's pretty rare though, and impossible to prove it wasn't an accident. But even if he's aware there's been a malfunction, he should take responsibility by discussing the emergency pill, how to obtain it, who will pay for it - too many fucking irresponsible men dumping that at women's door.

Yeah. Unless it was an immaculate conception, he's 50% responsible.

If he's threatened to hurt and kill you, you MUST go to the police.

Most murdered women are killed by partners/ex partners and you need to take his threats seriously and protect yourself.

Please don't imagine you're wasting police time, or think "they're just words", please speak to the police ASAP.

Abstain?

Making a baby is the chance you take with every encounter 🤷🏾‍♀️.