Should a man that didn't want the baby pay maintenance

[dillydallybub]

So as the title says, should a man that didn't want a baby pay maintenance?
Please give me your thoughts and opinions

@letsgoooo "So what if a woman sexually assaulted a man when he was blind drunk and incapable of giving consent?"

Because that happens.

Oh that old line "I didnt want it and you wouldnt get rid of it so I am not paying"

Funny how its on us to be the bad guys when they have babies they dont want because we wont abort, and not on them to make sure a pregnancy doesnt happen.

I understand in the case of genuine contraceptive failure it must be galling, but the fact is that everyone knows that no contraceptive is 100% so having sex carries that risk. But lets face it, most of these "But I didnt want it so...." guys dont want to use condoms, expect us to take hormones and then throw a tantrum when it doesnt go their way.

Every man has the choice to wear a condom.

@FatmanandKnobbin

So women can also abstain if they don't want to run any of the risks of pregnancy.

But the man has still relied on something someone else has said - for example, if a man told me he took a pill to prevent his sperm being fertile, I’d still ensure I took my own contraception pill regardless of what he said because I’d want to be in control of the situation and not reliant on someone else’s word

Please contact the police and take evidence of the death threats and threats of violence - print out screenshots of the messages so you can keep one set and give another to the police. When men make these kind of threats to pregnant women they should be taken seriously.

This is an old thread but it is on the nail https://x.com/designmom/status/1040363431893725184

They can, but they also have the option of abortion, or choose to keep a pregnancy.

The man's choice ends at ejaculation. A woman has a little longer.

Of course there is a reason!

Its important to question why these arseholes thinks that they are justified in saying that. Where are they getting the idea that they can have unprotected sex and simply disregard the consequences of their actions?!

And how the fuck do we bring up the next generation of boys to not do the same. Its incumbent on us, as mothers (who are usually the ones fucked over) to do our best to make sure that our daughters as a generation dont have to put up with the same shit by teaching our sons better.

No, if he clearly voiced he didn't want a baby and took precautions (obviously not vasectomy).
From a child free woman.

The question is who decided to go ahead without being careful, did you suggest it was safe at that point or you would have an abortion? If not and he went ahead anyway then claim away, he should have realised the consequences.

But he didnt take precautions as the OP admits, and simply assumed she would abort.

ETA and every person knows that no contraceptive is 100%, but he went ahead anyway, so he took his chance. So of course he should pay.

If he's threatened you, please report him to police. He can't avoid paying cms but you don't need to have any further contact with him if he doesn't want the baby. Cut contact and apply for child support when the baby comes.

No of course not. But, of course, that's hypothetical because such a man would never exist given that abstinence has always existed and contraception has done so for a long time....

Why "obviously not a vasectomy"? Any other form of contraception is not guaranteed and anyone old enough to be having sex should know that.

I took MAP within recommended time limits.

Child now an adult.
That's not 100% either. Cos nothing is

Well, if there was a vasectomy, presumably there would be no baby.

Indeed.

As a man who didn't want the baby, yes he should have paid maintenance. I f he didn't want to pay maintenance, he shouldn't have had sex.

(In my case, I didn't pay maintenance. I accepted the baby was happening, and we stayed together. This was definitely a win.)

Edited as I was answering the wrong post, however vasectomies do indeed fail. Less often these days but they do.

If a man said he was on a male contraceptive would you believe him or take your own precautions?

Yeah I took it once, periods happened as normal, all good. Found out much MUCH later that son was on his way! My sisters SIL took it and her son is now about 13.....

This!

Just only put yourself on the birth certificate whatever else you do

I think this is a tough situation as we don't know the context of your relationship and whether having a child was not discussed or not. In this case it appears neither of you were careful, so I suppose the responsibility (or blame) lays with both of you.In some other context, the solution might be totally different. It's easy to villify one party but I don't think there is a straightforward answer. Yes, legally he might have to pay but that doesn't necessarily make it right.