Should a man that didn't want the baby pay maintenance

[dillydallybub]

So as the title says, should a man that didn't want a baby pay maintenance?
Please give me your thoughts and opinions

Women who force a baby on a man who doesn't want one after a genuine failure of contraception are just as bad as absent fathers imo! They bring a child into the world knowing full well that the childs father resents their existence.

Of course he should! That’s his baby

Given the massive imbalance between your two scenarios, that’s quite a misogynistic attitude.

No. I don't think he should. Would you think it fair to force a women to carry/or parent? I think it should work both ways. There should be equal rights in these cases.

Yes, make sure he's wearing a condom.

Men can't have abortions @WorthyMauveEagle so it's not an option.

Unless you think men should be able to forcibly abort babies.

What about the child's rights?
Or don't they matter?

As the mother of a son this terrifies me.
I’m constantly telling him to never have sex without a condom.

Why would it terrify you? He's wears a condom and only has sex with someone if he trusts them and if having a child wouldn't be dreadful, he'll be fine.

Men aren't entitled to consequence-free sex any more than women are. Unless he insists on seeing a current STI test result (even then actually), risk exists outside pregnancy.

Surely you've taught him that with sex there's always the risk of a baby?

The pill is also not 100%

You can't force someone to be something they don't want to be. That's more damaging than having one less parent. To expose or send the child to a place where they are unwanted is harmful.

Would you force a child to be around someone who doesn't want them?

@Kendodd well a woman who continues with a pregnancy regardless of the father's wishes to not be a father isn't really caring about the childs rights either are they?

No parent is forced to have contact.

Then no parent should be forced to pay.

Yes he should. He should have worn protection if he didn’t want a baby.

@Playinwithfire why? That makes no sense. Just because you wouldn't want access, doesn't mean the child isn't your responsibility.

Yes. Absolutely.

So you see access and maintenance as pay per view.
You seem incapable of even putting an imaginary childs needs first.

Doesn't matter.
The only person who really had no choices in this situation is the baby and their rights are paramount. They have needs that cost money to be met and the two people who created this child have a responsibility and duty to provide for the kid. Doesn't matter whether they wanted the kid or not, the fact is the kid is here.

I think in the vast majority of cases of course the man should pay. I do think that for rare cases of abuse, sexual assault, or dishonesty, I do think there should be a mechanism where the courts can release a father from the obligation to pay.

I don't think it's fair for example that the boy here, a victim of grooming and sexual assault should be forced to pay. This was in the news a couple of days ago.

https://news.sky.com/story/rebecca-joynes-teenager-who-fathered-child-with-jailed-teacher-says-he-loved-her-after-being-coerced-and-controlled-13163526

That's ok if it doesn't make sense to you. Each person circumstances is different therefore there could be many factors. If the man does not want to be a father and he has clearly stated how he feels, and where he stands, then he should not be forced to pay maintenance, he wants no part in parenthood. Forccing him to so isn't acceptable. Just like forcing the women to be a mother, is unacceptable. Both are allowed to decide what is best for them.

It might be worth thinking of a system where victims can do a civil suit for the amount of the CS. That way they also get a Court to agree it's sexual assault with just balance of probabilities, not beyond a reasonable doubt. Something women should be doing every time because the criminal system is fucked beyond belief.

Some people, particularly some men seem to think a women has ‘lied’ about being on the pill if she gets pregnant anyway. But the pill does fail sometimes for example antibiotics can stop it working and for some women it does not work at all. If a man is that worried he should wear a condom as back up.

Yup completely incapable 🙄