@Easipeelerie good post, i agree, the drama around the babies' needs was her way of connecting with people.
My parents simultaneously smothered me with no boundaries allowed, and yet they also neglected me. i felt like a real blank screen. I Felt uncomfortable if somebody asked me how i felt.
.Nothing reciprocal in our communication at home, just Reflect back our view of ourselves.. . I wasn't REAL, I remember once even thinking, would I like that? would i find that funny?
Now, decades later, 3 therapists later, hours of work on self-acceptance and self compassion, i can still go on a bit too long about some show on netflix somebody else mentions that they're watching it too! IMy amygdala gets activated, like ooh, an opportunity for a not very deep connection! ( A tv show!.)
I don't embarrass myself completely, just talk a minute too longer, over enthused...
In lucy letby's false reality which started out close to actual reality, real humans were reduced to parts in her play/reality. No reciprocity in the interaction with the world. She has no gentle benign influence. She's only kind of real, even to herself, Just a victim or a puppet master. If she's fictional, so is everybody else. If she's not real, nobody else is either.... the line between real and drama got blurred.
It's almost a predictable, normal behavior, apart from the murdering babies.
I am not being flippant.