to be an equally shit neighbour?

[SkyeB86]

In 2019 a new family moved in next door and immediately they started acting a problem. Then lockdown happened and it escalated. Big heavy basketballs thud constantly from morning till night, kids (6 of them) scream at each other (and I mean blood-curdling screams at times) they think it's fine to jump into my garden whenever they fancy. I had a word with the dad, his response was that other than them jumping in my garden, they're not breaking any laws so he wouldn't be telling the kids to quiet down. Fair enough, they're not.

So I've bought some Bluetooth speakers. Whenever they get too noisy, I play music in my garden which effectively drowns them out, and can only be really be heard from NDNs garden. The dad has this weekend asked me to keep it down.

AIBU to think that if they can have the 'fuck everyone else' attitude, then so can I?

Yeah it's fair enough

Tbh this is actually true. They're known around here for being loud and causing trouble when they're out playing. However my speakers are strategically positioned to not annoy anyone else. I know and am friendly with all the closeby neighbours - all confirmed no noise can be heard

Never thought I'd have classical symphonies, Chas and dave and Arctic monkeys on the same playlist, but here we are! 😂 thank you all for the laughs tonight 😆

You have my sympathies OP. I have neighbours whose girls' shrieks sound like a thousand crabs being boiled.

Be honest. Tell him that the music is in response to the shite they’re putting you through, so when the kids quieten down, so will the music.

This ⬆️⬆️

Whatever anyone says in favour of the OP, you make some sort of bleeding-heart defence of the squawking ball bouncers topped off with a dramatic ‘well, I’m off’ comnent, only to return time and time again with even dafter comments!
If you’re going, Go!!

Sorry, meant to clarify - he asked me via Facebook messenger. I haven't replied yet, but yeah think I'll be direct and say if he's willing to tell his little asbo-darlings to keep the noise down then I'll gladly do the same 😂 normal kids noise I can handle. I have a daughter and always enjoyed her laughing and playing with her mates. But this is something else the boiling crabs analogy was good. Basketball-playing crabs 😂

Have you considered noise cancelling headphones OP? I know it’s an expense and there will be times you don’t want to have headphones on but, they are glorious!

The police do respond to complaints about music being played too loud, as my younger sister just recently found out the hard way 😬
We’re in Scotland though so it might be enforced differently in England, and I think it may only be past a certain time

I do agree you should ask him to turn his noise down before resorting to headphones though!

Exactly this. Why the fuck should anyone have to resort to noise cancelling headphones because of some shitty inconsiderate arsehole of a neighbour?!

The answer to all life's problems on Mumsnet! Noise cancelling headphones! FFS!

Wow! What a range. We need to communicate with our neighbors. We don't have to agree on everything they believe or do, we just need to keep the lines open. It makes it a lot easier to say something when their kids are screaming bloody murder & trampling gardens all day to say, "I love kids. But I keep getting up from my work to check on your kids because someone's scream sounds like someone in terrible pain. I understand kids will be kids, but I don't need any more gray hairs. And, is there something I can do, or you can think of that would help to protect my garden beds? They're getting trampled. There's got to be something I can do to protect them." This might have made the speakers unnecessary. It doesn't hurt to kindly ask the kids to keep it down too. Offer them some popsicles. I understand the basketball is also bothersome. But, that isn't something they should have to stop until 11 PM in most places. As for the beds, a sign to keep out(CYA), and some good-sized(somewhere between the size of a softball and a volleyball) river rocks placed throughout.
If you try this & nothing happens, you might want to bring it up again. If that fails, then you go with the speakers. But, before using them, you explain to them that you're getting the speakers for some music & why. In the meantime, if you really want to make a point, you record the kids playing on a particularly noisy day. When you get the speakers installed, you wait for a morning after they have had a late night and play their kids recording on a loop as early as is legal just to make a point. Not really. But the thought of it is fun.
The important thing is this. A lot of us grew up with parents that allowed us to be kids within reason. We were taught not to scream a certain way unless something was REALLY wrong, and told the story about the little boy in the well. We were taught to be respectful of those around us. Somewhere, much of this is being lost. Recently, some local kids(10-16) were shooting a rifle into an abandoned car located in the center of the city(rural)! People who reported it were criticized by folks saying it was "just kids being kids." No, I was not involved. But a stray bullet could have been catastrophic. There was no adult present. There are limits to kids being kids.
I have a neighbor whose child screams bloody murder every few minutes while they're playing. I am particularly sensitive to this. I had just started at the States Attorneys Office in Miami-Dade County, Florida when Adam Walsh was abducted. That case changed so much in law enforcement, as well as schools, & how they respond to missing children. And, for a while it raised awareness among parents in making sure their children knew what to do when faced with a situation that wasn't normal. One of those responses to a hostile stranger was to scream bloody murder. If I hear a kid screaming like that, I am up, and out, and finding that kid ASAP. That's how most of us are wired. If that kids horrific scream has grown commonplace, it's unlikely to happen. We can only hope that in a real emergency their might be something a little bit different about it that would signify a real emergency. Lives depend on it.
So, sorry for the length. But, don't wait for a crisis to talk to your neighbors. And remember, you will likely live next to them at least 10 years or so. Try to build a foundation for those years to be mutually enjoyed. Listen & communicate. And when all else fails, buy speakers! Kindness is Badass!😁👍

Play your music as loud as you like, I do when my neighbour bounces their ball off my wall 🧱, I've asked them not to repeatedly but falls on deaf ears so presumably they don't mind my shit music. It's like for like as far as I'm concerned

Get one of those high pitched cat scarer alarms and turn it on when they get loud: adults won't be able to hear it, but kids will.

What will you do when they start playing music at full volume directed at your garden?

Sounds awful.. I cannot deal with any loud noises. When my NDN kids start kicking the ball around I have to go in a shut the door. And they are really quiet 99% of the time. Any more and I would have to wear earplugs

I feel for you op. My ndn has particularly screamy dc. I quite like the sound of them playing in the garden, but it's the screaming that I hate. We put some music on in the garden Saturday afternoon, so we could sit outside and eat our bbq. It was just a small speaker placed on the table, but it was effective at drowning out the noise.

Most reasonable response ever, the level when it becomes children playing making reasonable noise into fucking annoying and needs stopping is being breached. Our neighbours are thick as pig shit, and aren't able to negotiate so we have to mitigate in other ways seems like the op is doing the same

@Abigorange @MessyHouseHappyHouse
Classical music is a good recommendation but to drive the neighbours utterly crazy I'd vote for avant-garde. Had some sterling success in the past using Meredith Monk's vocal arrangements in similar circumstances.

Some years back, the neighbours; kids held loud parties while the parents were on holiday. It went on for all hours.

I cured the problem by turning my speakers to the party wall and playing Yugoslav turbofolk at 7 in the morning.

Good idea! Just not John Cage's 4'33"😁

Can we suggest songs for the playlist?

OK

Because they're playing basketball. They're not robbing dust caps and bricking windows. They're kids.

Yes, but there’s a reasonable level of noise…

When I was a child, my mother would tell me to keep the noise level down, so as not to disturb the neighbours. Yes, I was allowed to play, but screaming and constant ball play was discouraged.