Dh making me uncomfortable

[ex1]

I love dh we've been married over 10 years and together 14.
He has a very high sex drive and is constantly groping me, pretending to do things from behind. Flashing at me or randomly putting my hand on him.
I do feel grateful that after all this time he's still interested but while he's at work he texts saying he wants me.
It feels like harassment and the more he goes on about it the more I don't want to know and feel a bit icky.
I have told him how I feel before and he seemed genuinely understanding like he didn't realise how he came across and that he thought he was just showing me he loved me.
I'm also pregnant at the moment and he's still like it, it just feels relentless and all the time he thinks he's being romantic apparently.
It's actually having the opposite effect and making me feel like he doesn't respect me.
Is this normal or should I just be happy he still feels the way he does?

Urgh, sorry this is happening to you. It sounds like he sees you as a bit of an object to be honest, no wonder you are turned off.

Your husband is a sex pest and you deserve better.

Consistent sexual assault isn't anything to feel grateful for

His behaviour is disgusting

No! It's completely over the top and worse because you are pregnant.

No it’s not normal to be regularly assaulted (that’s what all the unwanted touching is) by your spouse and no you don’t need to be happy about it. He doesn’t really think it’s romantic or showing you he loves you, he’s just trying to pressure you into sex. He sounds revolting.

Are you feelings about this new, or has it always bothered you?

It just seems to be getting worse, he says I never initiate anything and it's all down to him but how can I went he keeps on and on.

I’m so sorry. Hope he’s not one of those that jumps you as soon as baby’s out and hope he respects your post partum recovery

Find your anger. You've explained nicely and he hasn't listened to you or respected your boundaries, so you need to be very firm, very clear and get angry if needed, if you want your marriage to last.

Your body is yours, not an extension of his, and he needs to learn to respect that and to develop a clear awareness of how you expect him to treat you. A quick random (non groping) cuddle or squeeze of your shoulder might be nice if you like that, but groping and verbal/text sexual references all the time are not okay and are totally disrespectful.

As for random flashing...I would find that seriously weird and repulsive!! Is he going to continue that once your baby is a child and able to see it too?!

I find things like this quite chilling. A man consistently groping his partner, despite her having TOLD him she hates it, is despicable. It is an assault and his lack of boundaries and ‘control’ (which is bullshit, he just doesn’t think he should have to control himself) smacks of him thinking you belong to him like a possession.

The fact that you’re pregnant is a huge aggravating factor.

Men who think with their penis are the worst.

Ick

You are NOT his sexual property!

He seems to think you are. He needs telling.

This needs sorting before your baby is born, as you do not want to be having this happening around your children.

Tell him - NOW! Set the boundaries. Educate him in what is normal behaviour.

He grumbles that you never initiate sexual activity - well what a surprise!

Tell him you're likely to feel more like initiating sex once he stops behaving like the office sex pest at a 1970s Christmas party. I'd be asking a few sharp questions about why he thinks flashing you, or groping you is 'romantic'.

Also that you're growing an entire human at the moment, and your body is doing its own thing, and you're good with that.

He is not respecting your boundaries and being selfish (it's all about him and his wants). His behaviour reminds me of teenage boyfriends (although their behaviour was much milder) who were put in their place and told that being gropey wasn't on and was deeply unattractive (especially when that behaviour came out of the blue).

This won't end well op, he sees you as an object.... his object to use for his own wants, not considering yours at all.

Men like this tend to ramp this behaviour up when baby is born as they become jealous of their own baby using THEIR object and they don't like sharing.

I’d explain to him that the more he gropes you and goes on about it the less likely you are to ever initiate it because his behaviour isn’t attractive.

Ew, that is so wrong.
It's completely inappropriate, but even more so when pregnant when you'd think he'd be a bit more aware.

I think you need another chat and if he doesn't change it is either stay, knowing what he is like or leave, knowing he won't change.

Personally I'd become resentful that he isn't listening to hiw it makes you feel.

I think you need to be very firm and tell him that if you ask him not to touch you sexually and he ignores you then he is sexually assaulting you.
The MW will ask about your partner.
Make him understand clearly that you are prepared to tell her if he doesn’t stop.

You shouldn't feel grateful that he's a sex pest. Poor you, now pregnant too. He won't get better. Call him out on it and tell him you will be leaving and telling everyone why if he continues. Disgusting man.

You’ve told him how you feel about his behaviour.

Either he respects you, and changes his behaviour, or he doesn’t respect you and carries on treating you like an object whose feelings don’t matter.

It doesn’t really matter what he says. The thing to pay attention to is how he acts.

This would be a dealbreaker for me.

Urgh what an absolute lech he is. 🤮

His actions are clearly very selfish, and fact he feels he can grope you, put your hands on his dick etc as a sign of flirtation shows he has little respect. You must tell him. 'This is not on, it's a turn off and you need to stop. If I want it then I will let you know.' and do not let him get away with it. It is serious and could ruin the relationship.

This is quite clearly abuse. You need to think clearly about what you want to do now. This is not a safe situation.

It makes you feel icky because it's disrespectful, especially as you've told him you don't like it. I don't think many women would! He's behaving like a zoo animal, it's hardly romantic or a compliment.

I'd tell him one more time very bluntly that it's unattractive and he needs to stop or you can't live with him. Walk away from him if he does it again, just go in another room and give him no reaction. You deserve to be treated better than that.