Dh making me uncomfortable

[ex1]

I love dh we've been married over 10 years and together 14.
He has a very high sex drive and is constantly groping me, pretending to do things from behind. Flashing at me or randomly putting my hand on him.
I do feel grateful that after all this time he's still interested but while he's at work he texts saying he wants me.
It feels like harassment and the more he goes on about it the more I don't want to know and feel a bit icky.
I have told him how I feel before and he seemed genuinely understanding like he didn't realise how he came across and that he thought he was just showing me he loved me.
I'm also pregnant at the moment and he's still like it, it just feels relentless and all the time he thinks he's being romantic apparently.
It's actually having the opposite effect and making me feel like he doesn't respect me.
Is this normal or should I just be happy he still feels the way he does?

Yes this is sinister, entitled, sexist, objectifying behaviour and I can just imagine how he was as a single man socialising in pubs and clubs - he may have committed sexual assault many times.

OP you don’t have to put up with it and if he won’t listen all you can do is leave. It’s not normal and it’s not ok. Please don’t tolerate this shit.

So you have told him you don't like it and he continues to do it? Knowing it's not enjoyable for you?

I think you need to be firmer in your response ( not blaming you in any way just that he's clearly not listening currently)

And initiating wanting sex doesn't have to be dirty talk /groping . It could be romantic gestures /closeness/bonding but what there shouldn't be is an expectation.

I have told him how I feel before and he seemed genuinely understanding like he didn't realise how he came across and that he thought he was just showing me he loved me.

But then he carried on acting like he was before.
So he said all the right things, what you wanted to hear, but didn't actually change his behaviour at all. He doesn't actually believe he is doing anything wrong - he doesn't think your opinion matters, despite his words.

This is because he has no respect for you, for your thoughts, or your feelings.

The next step is you need to get really angry with him. Like a full on 'shouting at the top of your voice' row. Make yourself heard.

Then if he still doesn't change, you will know that he has absolutely no respect or love for you. Because true love means respect, not groping.
So then you divorce him.

I filed a police report for sexual offences against a man at my work several years ago for behaviour like this. It's really gross.

I can only hope the two posters who think the op should be grateful and speak to him like a child are taking the piss.
Someone consistently groping/flashing and pestering is a sex pest. He's not doing it because he just finds the op irresistible (sorry op) he feels entitled to grope and pester her. If he truly cared he'd have listened to his partner when she told him to stop touching her.
Christ the bar is so low with some people.

Op sorry but if he hasn't listened to you and carried on as he pleases you have a big decision to make re staying with him. Having a high sex drive doesn't =sex pest

You absolutely need to talk to him very very sternly. Also if its your first baby you need to be very clear about sex post partum, give him a specific timeline before he is allowed even suggest it and you will then let him know. I think it was about 6 months for me but I know some people are much faster. I would say minimum of 8 weeks. Even then your baby will own your body for months and he will be less priority. He needs to know this and know that it is normal and natural for you to put baby first. Don't be flattered that he still wants you, if he is telling you you are lucky then he is really misguided.

This is NOT about mismatched sex drives - it is about a man who is a complete sex pest and behaves inappropriately. I would not want him in my house. You wonder what sort of father he is going to be.

This is spot on. Find your anger, @ex1 !

Let him know how this makes you feel Every. Single. Time.

Do Not sweep it under the rug. If you want his behavior to change you must pull him up now and tomorrow and the day after and until he changes.
If you do nothing you cannot reasonably expect anything to change for the better.

Just because he's your husband, it doesn't mean he isn't sexually assaulting you.

You've told him how you feel, and he doesn't give a fuck.

It's sickening. Honestly. The shit some women put up with.

I'm not blaming you for staying with him by the way. I understand the complexities of why some women can't leave. But honestly, men are fucking gross.

I say that as someone who is happily married, surrounded by wonderful, respectful males.

I'm talking about mean as a whole.

*men not mean lol

His behaviour would gross me out and put me off him completely.

No, just no

Are you a man? What a bizarre response.

You are either

A) A "man"
B) A stupid pick me girl

Either way your post is dumb and offensive

He knows you don’t like it and he does it anyway because he gets off on doing something to you that you don’t like. How many times have you had sex you don’t want to make him leave you alone?

No one wants to be treated liked a sex doll OP. No one.

Well except maybe @Sookafatwan who obviously lives up to their name.

Hey there, it sounds like you're in a tough spot. It's great that your husband still finds you attractive, but it's also super important that he respects your feelings and boundaries.
You've already done a good job by talking to him about how his actions make you feel. It might help to have another calm conversation, explaining that while you appreciate his affection, you need a bit more space, especially with everything going on with your pregnancy. Maybe you can find a middle ground that works for both of you.
It's definitely not unusual to feel the way you do. Feeling respected and comfortable is key in any relationship, so don't feel like you just have to accept it. It's all about finding a balance that keeps both of you happy. Take care and good luck with everything!

The OP has not come back. I would like to hear if she has had a talk with her husband. It's so bad on all levels, I began to wonder if this is made up.

Hilarious, thanks!! 😂

Out of interest does your dh have a porn addiction?

And me! But I've been told im unusual in my sexual preferences lol theres not much off limits with me 😉

You'll have to get out of that relationship.
You can't go on feeling like prey dodging the hunter in your own home.