Holiday Nightmare!

[AmbTurn]

AIBU here?

We have come away the two of us for 10 days. Had a bit of a nightmare the first 3 days as our cases didn't come on the plane with us, they turned up 3 days later so I spent the first 3 days on the phone emailing etc.

Anyway, cases did turn up on day 3! Great let's get on with enjoying the holiday.

Thursday afternoon all of a sudden I felt I had been hit by a bus. I woke up in the middle of the night with a high fever and aching from head to toe. Ended up in bed all day yesterday because I felt so bad.

Managed to get up today and get to the chemist as I knew it was more than a cold. The chemist gave me some stuff for the flu and a Covid test. Top and bottom of it is, I've tested positive for Covid hence the reason why I feel horrendous.

Partner seems really pissed off. Hardly speaking to me! That's the vibe I'm getting. He went to the adult only pool yesterday until 6pm as I told him pointless sitting in the room with me.

Today after I got the positive test he's annoyed again. Saying well I have to spend the holiday on my own! Didn't ask how I was feeling or any regard for the fact I feel horrendous with a temperature and I'm wasting my holiday stuck in bed in the room.

At least he can go out round the pool in the sun! AIBU in thinking he's being a bit selfish in just thinking of himself? It's really getting on my nerves!

We are married.
Our wedding anniversary was on Thursday

I'd be considering if I wanted to celebrate another one, if he's this uncaring while you're ill and have no other support.

No, this isn't right...at all! A decent bloke would not be reacting this way at all!

Sorry you are feeling ill, so many people are testing positive for Covid, as they are feeling so ill, they want to know what it is. Do you have insurance that covers Covid confinement, you may be able to claim on insurance and also lost suitcases, might just soften the blow getting a bit of compensation.

Have you read the thread?

Because she's a responsible human being and doesn't want anyone else getting it off her?

oh sorry… I misread it. Still, he’s a poop. Clearly it’s your fault for being sick. Should he ever deign to come down with manflu make sure you threaten to call a waaaaaaahmbulance, let him starve to death, hide the dressing gown of doom and tell him to suffer in his y fronts. How dare he punish you for being ill?

@Terrribletwos Yes, I’ve read the whole thread, thanks.

Well he could quite possibly catch Covid now couldn’t he?
You will know exactly how much loving care and attention to withhold from him when he does.

what does you have children have to do with it

1. there could have been a drip that you have 6 month old twins and a 2 year old with you
2. that you have children around all this toxicity on their holiday

but no children together or out with you (thankfully) so… no issue

this issue aside
is this marriage a healthy and happy one?

what were you and he like around the stress of no luggage?

He should have gone in the children's pool as he is behaving like one 😂

If he's normally quite good and this is not a common behaviour then it might be worth helping him out emotionally (you shouldn't have to do this because you're ill, but in the interior having a happier few days)

Ask him what he had been looking forward to doing together and send him off to do something enjoyable on his own tomorrow (some sort of exploration/adventure) and ask him to bring you back photos or a memento or something interesting to eat together. Then when he gets back pretend to be interested and let him tell you all about it for ten minutes. It should change the dynamic from him feeling guilty and resentful to as if he's doing something positive to reclaim your holiday.

They're like children sometimes. It sucks to do emotional labour when you're half dead but sometimes it's the smart thing to do. You can have the conversation about being supportive to each other when you're better and he is ill!

@Ambleberry are you one of these ‘surrendered wives’ we’ve been hearing about?

No absolutely not. He is not a child and this is absolutely not the way!

Fml I see the handmaiden has entered the chat 🙈

I just couldn't treat a fully grown adult like that. Giving him little tasks and adventures like a toddler. She's ill, she shouldn't have to pander to sulking bore who isn't capable of entertaining himself for a couple of days or bringing his wife a drink or snack when she's ill.

Be done with this man child OP. Life should be better than this for you.

No advice, but my god what an awful set of events! I hope you’re feeling better soon. 💐

What a shitty holiday for you so far OP. How long do you have left there?

You are both allowed to feel disappointed. But he cannot take it out on you. And needs to show some kindness.

If you can bear it, can you give him an effusive welcome when he returns, with a long lingering kiss, exchanging maximum volumes of saliva….? Perhaps have a nice clearing cough just before.

Haha I don't think I am! Have had terrible DV relationship in past and now with DH of 12 years who is a lovely man who helped me protect and bring up my children when I escaped, but occasionally behaves like a child himself.

When my son was a teenager struggling with anger issues I figured out how to give him space to calm down and later he would admit to being out of order. He has grown up into a very calm and thoughtful man who looks out for his disabled sister.

I use that technique on my DH once or twice a year for an easy life and I'm not ashamed! If I was being childish and grumpy I'd want him to help me snap out of it too. Why both be miserable if you know a way to snap out of that dynamic?

how old are you @Ambleberry ?

Late 40s, had my DC young.

I don't want to distract from OPs thread but if you want to start a thread about when it's appropriate to pander to a childish partner I'll reply and you can dismantle me there :)

@trextape

there’s no specific treatment for covid

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No. However knowing what you are unwell with does rule out other illnesses or infections that do have specific treatments.

So knowing it's Covid means the op can focus on getting better with over the counter / paracetamol treatments etc and knows they don't need anything like antibiotics.

People get so uptight about Covid testing, but for most people now it's just so they know what's wrong with them.