Why do stories like this become all about the man?

[HoldingTheDoor]

This story of the paramedic who appeared on 999: On The Frontline who was found dead along side the body of a 22 year old mental health student nurse.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/clkygk383pdo.amp

Yet the majority of stories and tributes are about him and what a wonderful guy he supposedly was though it’s becoming evident that was not the case.

I’d say it’s because he’s appeared on TV but it feels like every time a story like this, and they occur with depressing regularity, happens the focus is almost always on the man and what a lovely special guy he was.

It’s as though women are merely emotional support humans for men.

I read about this yesterday. He killed her didn't he? How these people can gush over him and articles be written about him is beyond me.

There wouldn't be much intrest in this story if he hadn't been on telly. I have read the tributes to him but I've also seen more for the nurse as the facts have come out.

She had 5 tributes, he had 3.

These are people in shock at younger people being found dead.

No further information was given.

I would assume a gas leak - rather than murder. I’m sure after the initial reaction once the truth is told, then there’ll be a further update.

I think originally we needed to understand motivation of why this went wrong, and how to support people feeling the right way.

I’ve seen similar comments about men who died in the same circumstances without having appeared on TV and the focus was still very much on the man not the woman.

And yes, it’s amazing how quickly the tributes come out. Part of that may be the media fishing for quotes but some of the quotes make it seem as though they know or suspect what happened and still paid tribute not that the reveal of the truth always stops those either.

There’s a murder investigation so not a gas leak. The language about it all is pretty classic in these circumstances. It’s all too predictable. The Police have also referred themselves to the IOPC.

Maybe instead of complaining about who got the most column inches you should respect the family's wishes for privacy while trying to process this awful situation

Maybe instead of complaining about who got the most column inches you should respect the family's wishes for privacy while trying to process this awful situation

Sorry but I must have missed the part where I said that I was harassing the family.

And I had a friend murdered in similar circumstances though her murderer killed himself soon after in custody not immediately after the event so sue me if it pisses me off to see the media reporting this all too regular event in the same tired old way that makes it all about the man and not the victim.

The families and the police have asked people not to speculate on what happened and turn it into the inevitable social media circus as we see so often in these times

I’ve noticed this too that they always make it about the man. Always about his stresses etc. hardly ever mention the stress that the woman may have been under before she was murdered.

I’ve noticed this too that they always make it about the man. Always about his stresses etc. hardly ever mention the stress that the woman may have been under before she was murdered.

Exactly this.

The excellent book by Ryan and Luke Hart whose Mother and Sister were murdered by their Father discusses how offensive and hurtful all the praise in the media for and focus on their Father was to them and how it perpetuates stereotypes about domestic abuse and yet it continues.

amp.theguardian.com/society/2017/jun/17/we-didnt-recognise-that-he-was-dangerous-our-father-killed-our-mother-and-sister

What's the murder clue?

My immediate thought / speculation was a sex game gone wrong.

*What's the murder clue?

My immediate thought / speculation was a sex game gone wrong.

You know that a sex game gone wrong is often an excuse for murder by men, right? That it’s almost exclusively women who end up dead in these so called sex games that involve two people.

The police have said that they launched a murder investigation. They have said that they aren’t looking for anyone else. Men murder women far, far more often than women murder men. The Police have referred themselves to the IOPC because of previous police contact with the deceased.

There’s other evidence too but I’ll stick to what has officially been shared by the Police.

The main one is that the police have said that it’s a murder investigation and that they aren’t looking for anyone else in connection with it.

But there are two dead people. Did they murder each other? Murder/suicide?

But there are two dead people. Did they murder each other? Murder/suicide?

It’s following the textbook script of the latter.

How does it usually pan out in these cases?
The articles also make numerous references to his previous mental health issues, the fact that he wrote a ‘disturbing’ letter before the incident…

Police have referred themselves to the IOPC because of previous police contact with the deceased.

I’m trying to work out what this might mean. Are they talking about contact In a professional capacity- paramedic and police? Or something else? And why would the police need to refer themselves to IOPC? Sorry if I’m being dense, just trying to make sense of it.

I don’t know the exact circumstances here but in my friend’s case the Police had to report themselves to the IOPC because she had previously contacted them about incidents of domestic violence before she was murdered by her ex.

I agree with you OP.
It makes me so angry.

The article you shared is literally half and half (if anything her bit is longer) and mentions her first.

Can you share better examples so we can see if you even have a point, or are just trying to turn this poor woman's death into something else to make your point?

Thanks for explaining @HoldingTheDoor, makes a bit more sense now.

That's what I understood from the article.

This! I'm confused if they've revised it or something because it really doesn't reflect what the OP is saying. And I do think there's a problem with this kind of representation of men who murder their significant others, but this article is a poor example.

Again, all this speculation is painful for the families and could possibly hinder any future legal proceedings.

However, they initially said a murder investigation, but did not repeat that when they updated with not looking for anyone else.

So let's just wait, shall we?