To feel so upset and frustrated when things like this happen?

[sayhelloooo]

No one’s fault, just one of those things. Ds has weekly swimming lessons which aren’t cheap and for the past two weeks hasn’t been able to go because his costume has vanished. It turned up during the week but this morning had disappeared again. (Normally yes everything is ready but this week has been very disrupted.)

I am so frustrated and upset with myself I feel like crying. And yes am ordering him a new one!

I guess he’s just never needed two … we go once a week so it’s been fine. And they are expensive and he grows quickly. But you know the original one will turn up the second I take the tags off the new one

Fair enough

You say he’s never needed 2 but this is week 3 of missing swimming because you can’t find the costume, so he does!

What time is his lesson? Call for one at Sainsburys or similar en route.

You still aren't answering how if you've packed it yourself, it 'disappears'.

You’re missing a week Kitty. He missed last week, he’s missed this week. I am buying him another today. I’m not really sure what else you want me to say!

For the future op, buy a drawstring swim bag and gym bag, and say football bag (or whatever sport he does) hang them on dedicated pegs on the back of a downstairs door, and as soon as it comes back from school, wash and dry and be absolutely fanatical about putting it straight back in to bag with his towel. This system avoids specialist items of clothing going AWOL all over the house.

You can make a similar system with school uniform and dedicate one special area to school underwear, socks, sweat shirts, polo shirts and trousers etc, and wash enough for an entire week.

It saves all kind of hassle. And make sure everything is labelled.

Good luck.

Because I don’t know, do I? That sentence is ‘said’ in a bewildered tone not an aggressive one by the way but seriously how can I know that?!

How annoying for you! I've definitely sent ds to swimming with dh without his swim shorts. I'd told ds to put them on under his clothes but he hadn't. So annoying. Luckily, the leisure centre sells them though, so dh just bought some on the way in. Now we have a spare pair which is good tbh.

Expensive? I’ve just seen 2 pair set for £6.67 on Amazon! I don’t want to be that arsehole who assume £6.67 is easy to find for anyone, but he’s in private swimming lessons at the age of 3, so I’ll assume you can afford that.

From the wording of your OP I thought he’d missed the last 2 and then you can’t find it again today. Not sure what you want anyone else to say either, you were ill so didn’t check and you’ve ordered an extra costume. It’s not something that particularly requires sympathy and you don’t like anyone’s suggestions 🤷‍♀️

Why him being 3 mean he hasn’t hidden it? My dd is 3 and this is definitely something she would do if she didn’t want to go to her lessons.

i avoid buying black for this reason, ie black gloves, hopeless

I hate this. it always happens when I am stressed already. That is when I put something down somewhere and suddenly don't know where it is when it was in my hand a few minutes ago. Its being stressed that leads to doing something forgetful, which multiplies the stress and leads me to be more and more forgetful, until I literally feel like screaming

Could you ask another parent to bring an extra one for him to borrow? Don't know if people are grossed out by that kind of thing.

@Overthebow agreed. Off topic but when I was three I hid my mums car keys because I preferred going on the bus. 40 years later and she's still not let me forget it!

Are you sure it's not wrapped in the towel?
My son's swim bag comes home from swimming, stuff washed and dried and straight back in the bag. No need for two costumes etc.

Well, things don't just unpack. So if you didn't, someone else did. 3yr olds CAN hide things!

I was pretty upset @MissingKitty and there have been some nice kind posts which make me realise it’s one of those annoying things that happen from time to time and not me being a crap mum. Don’t worry though, yours wasn’t one of them <sigh>

@opalsandcoffee totally. I can’t see DS hiding it himself, if he hid something he’d come to say something like ‘I have hidden my costume so we cannot go swimming ha ha!’ It’s more likely DH has put it somewhere. It’s why I should not get ill!

Op, I'm sorry some of the replies haven't been very supportive. I don't think it's really about the swimming trunks at all. It sounds like you've been really poorly and now you've got that double whammy of recovering and also realising the house has begun to descend into chaos whilst you've been poorly. It sounds like you could do with a hug and a bit of TLC to be honest!
Hope you're back up to 100% soon.

Yeah I didn’t suggest you were being a crap mum, I said it’s better to check the night before, way to dramatise though 🙄

You still haven’t said where it turned up last time! That might help to understand what’s going on.

I groaned at this though - not another MN useless husband. Tell him to drive to supermarket / sort the replacement.
”It’s more likely DH has put it somewhere. It’s why I should not get ill!”

This used to happen to.me too. I bought bright coloured waterproof bags (red/yellow). As soon as the swimming costumes and towels were washed and dried, I'd stick them straight into the bags. I'd hang them up on the coat rack. It worked.

I am sorry for the upset. Unfortunately it’s clear it has happened because your dh doesn’t take responsibility for the house and parenting. I suggest you change that when you’re better. I’ve never packed a swim bag for when Dh takes them swimming. And I’ve had sharp words about getting it all rinsed and cleaned afterwards.

Can’t he just wear shorts or underpants for this time?