vet holding cats ashes hostage

[Saitama]

My poor cat had been at the vet on and off for months, but in the end unfortunately had to be PTS. This was on a weekend and so the cost of it was extortionate, but it would have been cruel if we'd waited until monday. We asked for him to be cremated and to have his ashes back and his paw prints etc.

We've spent several thousand £ at this vet in the last months for my cat, trying to diagnose and treat him, all paid up to date until the PTS. Now I owed £700, I paid 350 of that and set up a payment plan for the rest at X amount per month. But the vets are refusing to give me my cats ashes back until it's paid in full.

All my savings have gone into my cat and I have nothing left, so his poor ashes are just sat at the vet alone and waiting for me and I can't bring him home. I've been with the vets for years with my other animals, have always been a good client, paid on time, never missed an appointment, no reason for them to think I'd just take his ashes and not pay since my other pets are registered there.

It's going to be approx 4-5 months until I can pay the rest of the bill to get my cat back, it feels so cruel of the vet to be holding him hostage like this when taking all the above into account, and how many appointments I had had there with this cat alone. I'd even sent them a card and chocolates after some of the appointments before to thank them for their work etc.

AIBU to think it's super messed up and cruel that they won't just give me his ashes now?

Because it's not the same as Tesco. How many groceries to the PTS? If my pet has some treatment and I can't pay it all upfront - what will they do? At Tesco they could just keep the goods and sell them to someone else. Is the vet going to keep your cat (and pay to look after them) until they can sell it? It's ridiculous to suggest a vet is the same as Tesco.

OP chose to have an individual cremation - the most expensive kind. Her bill also included the costs of an OOH emergency appointment for euthanasia.

Of course it won't be cheap. There's a reason why lots of people choose communal cremation or take their animals home with them and bury them in the garden (as we did).

We don’t know what the £700 actually covers, the OP is quite vague. I strongly suspect it includes fees from the previous treatment, the euthanasia itself etc.

I'm saying they're a business just like Tesco is, and they have bills and staff to pay just like Tesco do.

Why on earth do people think they're entitled to hundreds of pounds worth of treatment without paying for it? It's batshit behaviour.

My vet has a tear in their eye when my cat was PTS.

My vet does it. I doubt it's in the Ts&C's - it's just what they do. I've been with them over 20 years and they are just flexible like that. I've never had to pay for a pet PTS immediately. Never had to pay anything in advance. And on one occasion I wasn't able to pay the whole lot in one go (I forget the reason why now) - it was no problem. I know many others who go there who have had the same experience. I think it does make people loyal to the practice.

It relies on sentimentality about pets in general, as well as sympathy in a specific moment of grief. And on everyone, including vets, being too 'polite' to give the honest riposte —

If you are a responsible, caring, worthy pet owner, then you have a plan for meeting ALL the costs of their care. Including those associated with their death, disposal of remains, and memorial.

I hope pet owners are taking note! In truth, planning for death financially helps prepare for the loss emotionally too.

My vet saying 'we'll sort out payment later' when my pet had been PTS and me accepting this does not mean I don't hugely appreciate what they do.

But the OP isn’t buying anything on HP, there is no HP contract in place. Vets are not allowed to offer any form of finance as they are not registered as financial institutions. This is a case of racking up debt knowing it was out of budget then leaving the vet no choice but to except payment by instalment which they were not obliged to let her do, they could have said she had a week to pay the remaining amount in full or have it sent to a debt collector. I think they have actually been quite fair.

Of course it is the same, it’s a business selling goods and services to clients. The fact that it is animals being treated doesn’t mean it should be free.

No, of course the vet isn’t going to keep someone’s (live) pet in lieu of payment. That’s not what is happening here so no need to even mention it.

For people that struggle with vet bills there are options available to them. There’s the PDSA, insurance, credit cards and loans. And lets not forget that pets are an optional luxury, not essential.

You might think that the vet should make exceptions for ‘special cases’ - the problem is, everyone thinks they’re a special case.

They have bills and staff to pay. But they're still not like Tesco.

Expecting your vet to ask after your animals when you run into them for example, is nothing to do with being entitled.

When your vet says ‘we’ll sort payment later’… does he mean 5 months later??!

Yes, but by "later" they presumably mean within a week or two, not several months down the line.

Most vets don't ask for payment for cremation or euthanasia right away, but they do expect it within a month or so, which OP cannot do.

We are allowed to discuss wider points than what exactly is happening for the OP.

I have nowhere said it should be free. I said it was different to Tesco.

And all I was saying was many vets are flexible. My vet doesn't ask anyone to pay immediately when their pet is put to sleep. Not just 'special cases'. I'm not talking about what a vet 'should' do but about what many 'do' do. And these are thriving practices, maybe because of the way they treat their clients.

I'm really sorry for your loss. The remains are kept until payment for humans too, if that makes you feel better. I buried my cat in the garden, as I didn't want to wait that long. The pain does slowly fade away. Sending hugs.

This is in contrast to people saying their vet asks for payment immediately or even in advance.

I think you are missing the point. We’re not talking about bedside manner here. This is about that fact that all businesses need a reliable cash flow and can’t survive off bad debts.

Some said the vet asked for payment immediately or in advance. My experience is in contrast to that.

Why are you seemingly unable to comprehend that all vets are different and operate differently? Your vet isn't intrinsically better than one that requires payment upfront

Our vet is tiny and can't afford to offer everyone treatment on credit, so they require payment "on the day". The flip side is that they're incredibly affordable - appointments are only £18, and they don't charge OOH fees.

I know I'd rather be with them than a big corporation charging me hundreds of pounds just because my cat got sick on a Saturday instead of a Tuesday.

Fair point.

I just think that perhaps because my vet is flexible they have loyal clients and we give them a lot of business as a result. So their cash flow and profits are increased. I'm not suggesting any vet is obliged to to do this. But just that those that do perhaps benefit from the relationship they develop with their clients.

See. Nuts.

Ok. But there’s been a lot of explaination on this thread about the huge amount of non-payment that some practices face. Does that help you to understand why many vets have to ask for immediate payment? Once that client has walked out of the door, there’s basically no way of knowing if you’ll ever see that money.

I’ve known clients give false names and addresses to get treatment they never intend to pay for. I’ve known long-standing clients suddenly ghost us after racking up a massive bill. But even just very delayed payments can be detrimental to the monthly cash flow especially in a small practice. Remember the practice has their own suppliers, wages and overheads to pay too.

Well, that's precisely my point that they operate differently.

I believe that the flexibility my vet provides makes people loyal and they spend a lot with the vet as a result.

Yes, it does help me understand. And that behaviour from your clients is dreadful.

I feel my vet makes more money by having loyal clients and presumably that is why they are flexible considering the risk to them.

Great, but once again, not all vets can afford that level of flexibility.

Vets can't survive on bad debt - they need a certain level of income each month in order to survive and to keep providing life-saving treatment.

If yours has a decent cash flow/support behind it, great, but many don't.