To not understand why she messages me?

[millennialboss]

I’m in a group teams chat at work where it’s general work chat but then sometimes a team meal will be decided on.

She will then message me privately to say, there’s a meal on the 10th. She knows I’m in the group??

I’d understand if it was a couple of days after and I’d not acknowledged it but she will literally tell me within minutes of it being posted.

See, back in the day, if someone did something repeatedly, which we did not understand and did not require, we would simply ask them -in a very friendly and matter of fact way- why they were doing it.

Of course, in the age of the internet and social media, it's far, far easier to just ask anyone else but those involved. I'm still laughing about the post several weeks ago asking if all hairdressers reply to messages on a certain day.

🤣🤣🤣

This is exactly the kind of scenario that 'USE YOUR WORDS' is appropriate for.

You're going to have to explain that one to me, I'm afraid.

Such a weird thing to give energy too. Have you replied 'yes I saw in in the group chat'.
Maybe she is trying to find out if you are going or not before she commits (because she'd prefer to go if you aren't there or vice-versa)

Or maybe just wants a more personal chat or sees the OP as a friend.

Or 101 other reasons. I'm stumped as to why the OP can't just ask the woman. Really I am.

The OP's non-dilemma would be solved by 'using her words' to say 'Yes, thanks, I saw that in the group chat'. Or even 'Susan, why do you keep messaging me about stuff I've already seen on the group chat? Did you forget I was a member?'

Oh I see! 😁Thanks for explaining.

It's funny, because it reminds me of an incident, back in the winter of 2004, when my (now late) mum turned 60, we had a surprise birthday party for her. I did all the invitations, and on the day there was a huge turnout. Of all the people in the room, there was only one lady I didn't recognise.

I asked my sister if she knew who she was, but we were mother sure we'd never seen her before.

By today's standards, I did an exceptionally daring and inappropriate thing - I went over to her, smiled, and thanked her so much for coming. Said woman was beaming, and said to me "Oh your mum's face when she walked it, what a picture, etc, etc, etc".

I said "Yes, she had no idea, bless. Forgive for asking, [ smile at the woman ], and I can't make this sound polite [ laugh ] , and I'm ever so sorry, but I can't place you at all...you are...?"

And she roared laughing, told me who she was (I knew then I had invited her, and no, I'd never met her before), and with that we both turned and got on with the rest of our lives.

It all seems so unsophisticated and quaint, when I look back. FFS.

As soon as you get the next meal out invite message her separately before she can message you. Adding ‘just in case you hadn’t seen the group chat message’