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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stalk a stranger in A&E

602 replies

TheRozzers · 26/06/2024 22:13

Witnessed a nasty accident today. An elderly lady had a fall in the street and was bleeding badly. I was coming back from the gym and had a towel with me so used it to help stem the bleeding and stayed with her until the paramedics arrived. Others helped too.

We were talking to her and trying to reassure her as she was very distressed and in a lot of pain. I'm pretty sure she's broken a bone.

I asked if there was anyone we could call. Partner, children, friends. She said she had nobody.

I can't stop wondering how she is, she's probably in the hospital A&E corridor and will be for the next week knowing the state of the NHS.

I have tried to call the hospital to enquire after her but no answer.

Would it be really weird and stalker like to go to the hospital and check up on her? Maybe take her something to eat and drink? I know her full name and date of birth so assume I could track her down?

Or would that be an invasion of her privacy?

It's also quite late now.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheRozzers · 10/07/2024 15:29

If anyone is still following the thread, Pauline called me earlier today (luckily I'm WFH, calls with Pauline are never quick conversations!). She is doing really well.

She is still in the rehab facility getting help to do things like making a cup of tea and dressing herself.

Once they are satisfied she can do basic things without help she will be able to go home. She is arranging for care at home as it will be a while before she is fully recovered.

She says they are very kind and the food is great, and she's been out in the garden today with another resident but is ready to be back at home in her own bed.

I offered to come and see her tomorrow or Friday but she said she doesn't know what time the physio appointments are and it's probably better to wait until she's home. She's optimistic it will be next week so that's sounding positive.

OP posts:
amiahoarder · 10/07/2024 16:18

Lovely 😍 sorry if I missed this but does she have no family at all?

mommatoone · 10/07/2024 16:36

TheRozzers · 10/07/2024 15:29

If anyone is still following the thread, Pauline called me earlier today (luckily I'm WFH, calls with Pauline are never quick conversations!). She is doing really well.

She is still in the rehab facility getting help to do things like making a cup of tea and dressing herself.

Once they are satisfied she can do basic things without help she will be able to go home. She is arranging for care at home as it will be a while before she is fully recovered.

She says they are very kind and the food is great, and she's been out in the garden today with another resident but is ready to be back at home in her own bed.

I offered to come and see her tomorrow or Friday but she said she doesn't know what time the physio appointments are and it's probably better to wait until she's home. She's optimistic it will be next week so that's sounding positive.

That's great news!.Sounds like she is recovering well and seems things are being putting place for her going forward. You have been a great source of comfort for Pauline. Long may this friendship continue .

ClaudiasWinkleMan · 10/07/2024 17:43

Thanks for the update

Helen1625 · 10/07/2024 18:06

Thanks for keeping us updated 😊

croydon15 · 10/07/2024 18:24

Lovely update take care

Original poster
TheRozzers · 10/07/2024 19:38

amiahoarder · 10/07/2024 16:18

Lovely 😍 sorry if I missed this but does she have no family at all?

Nobody. She's an only child so no siblings, in laws, nieces or nephews and never married or had children.

OP posts:
Alltheyearround · 10/07/2024 19:56

Great news, thanks @TheRozzers. Keep us posted. It's been a pleasure to follow Pauline's story and yours. She sounds delightful. Really hope your friendship carries on. We just never know how friends will come about.

Incakewetrust · 10/07/2024 20:12

Thanks for updating us OP! I can't wait for the update telling us she's home 😊

spiderlight · 10/07/2024 20:33

Lovely to hear that she's doing so well ☺️

TimeGoesBySoSlowlyForThoseWhoWait · 10/07/2024 22:01

This is just the loveliest thread as are you @TheRozzers

mumgodloveher · 10/07/2024 22:26

Yes, definitely following, please keep us updated!

Itiswhysofew · 11/07/2024 00:43

I bet Pauline can't wait to get home. She's got a good friend in you, OP. That's preciousSmile

PunishmentSnart · 11/07/2024 07:56

This is one of my favourite threads ever 😄

You are a really lovely human OP x

Grateful10QLord · 12/07/2024 18:55

TheRozzers · 10/07/2024 15:29

If anyone is still following the thread, Pauline called me earlier today (luckily I'm WFH, calls with Pauline are never quick conversations!). She is doing really well.

She is still in the rehab facility getting help to do things like making a cup of tea and dressing herself.

Once they are satisfied she can do basic things without help she will be able to go home. She is arranging for care at home as it will be a while before she is fully recovered.

She says they are very kind and the food is great, and she's been out in the garden today with another resident but is ready to be back at home in her own bed.

I offered to come and see her tomorrow or Friday but she said she doesn't know what time the physio appointments are and it's probably better to wait until she's home. She's optimistic it will be next week so that's sounding positive.

Awww...that's a lovely update, OP. And genuinely appreciate it. It is really nice to hear she is doing okay. And even though you don't have too, I really appreciate you taking the time to update.
Thank-you.

EmeraldRoulette · 12/07/2024 20:14

You restore my faith in people OP.

TealPoet · 13/07/2024 00:34

Maybe we should do a card shower or something for her when she’s home?

mommatoone · 13/07/2024 12:25

TealPoet · 13/07/2024 00:34

Maybe we should do a card shower or something for her when she’s home?

What's a card shower? Never heard of this.

Original poster
TheRozzers · 13/07/2024 14:08

I had to look up a card shower. It's a lovely idea.

I haven't told Pauline about this thread and not sure if I should. I doubt she's heard of Mumsnet and I don't get the feeling she's into social media or anything like that so it would probably take quite a bit of explaining. She may feel embarrassed if she read it, even though I don't think she can be identified.

On the other hand she might roar with laughter when she realises she's the star of an online thread and love reading the well wishes from strangers.

OP posts:
Hearts2000 · 13/07/2024 14:36

I agree with you OP. I'm not sure what a card shower is. It sounds like a lovely idea in some circumstances. But I would imagine here it would mean sharing your or P's address with strangers on the internet? That would make everyone rather vulnerable I fear.

It sounds as if, since your original kindness, you have made a sincere personal connection with your new friend. Personally, I would go with your instinct and stick with that. xx

Datafan55 · 13/07/2024 17:41

Agree with not sharing addresses.

Maybe we should all send a random card to an elderly neighbour instead...

Pearl97 · 13/07/2024 20:45

Look up postcards of kindness on Facebook. It’s my hobby and I love it!
you’re a legend @TheRozzers Every time I see a towel I think of you handing M yours over!
Love this thread.

Pearl97 · 13/07/2024 20:46

Or from me to you. A letter means so much to so many people.
We can literally make peoples days with ten minutes of our time x

MrsPositivity1 · 14/07/2024 03:22

@TheRozzers this thread has just restored my faith in kindness, thank you for doing that.

I hope Pauline is home and settled soon. Looks like you have a lifelong friend xx

Original poster
TheRozzers · 29/07/2024 17:13

Pauline is home now!! And has carers coming twice a day to help out.

However all hasn't been plain sailing. She is still in a lot of pain and has been having panic attacks 😞

I haven't seen her face to face since the hospital ward but we are in regular phone / text contact and she wants me to come round for tea and cake later this week or early next week. I'll update again when I've seen her.

OP posts: