Neighbour being cheeky? Or AIBU?

[Motheringthrough]

We moved in a couple of years back and as I am a keen gardener, I arranged for our house to have a green bin collection (not sure if this is the case everywhere but it’s a service you pay extra for with our council)

About a month after moving in our next door neighbour asked if it would be alright if he put his grass clippings in our green bin. Trying to be friendly and neighbourly and all that, I said yes, thinking it would be a one off. They’ve never had a green bin and prior to us moving in next door, he used to take his garden waste to the tip.

Every time he has mown his lawn since (every 1-2 months I’d say) he asks me if he can put his grass cuttings in our green bin.

It is now starting to bother me that he doesn’t pay for his own green bin when he clearly would get a lot of use out of it. I just think to keep asking each time now is being cheeky and almost overstepping with the favour.

Am I being silly? I realise this is probably the most silly and middle England issue to post but I need to put my mind at rest!

Just tell him that it is no longer convenient. Ignore the posters that say you are being unreasonable. you bin is your property, how you use it is your business. Allowing him to use it as a one off is very different to you agreeing to pay for his green waste to be collected.

This is a brilliant Mumsnet conundrum.

On the one hand, you are literally paying a fee for the guy, who has no intention of paying himself. This is the rational argument why, of course, you shouldn't be paying for him.

On the other hand, it's a few grass clippings in an empty bin. For your neighbour. This is the emotional argument why, of course, you shouldn't make a fuss.

Frankly, I couldn't be arsed to care about it. I would choose not to feel "used". I would invite anyone who felt used to just let it go. Give and take.

In summer grass is cut weekly for us. Not enough room for our own never mind anyone else’s he is definitely taking advantage he could at least offer to pay part. What happens if you have a lot of trimmings of shrubs etc as well as grass do you not get to use the bin you pay for. Ok to ask for one off I think more is out of line

Why dont you wait until nearer the end of year and say “sharing the bin has worked out quite well this year hasn’t it! So if you pay for it next year and I’ll put my clippings in yours. We can take turns paying for it each year 😊”

and see how he reacts, I bet he’s not keen on that reciprocal arrangement and might stop

He’s not a cheeky fucker because he asks for permission each time and you give it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

To be honest, I think you’re very strange for not asking him to contribute towards the cost of the bin collection, especially if his cuttings might fill it up on occasion.

How hard is it to say “Hey Bill, as you’re using my green bin more frequently now, I’d like you to contribute towards the cost, say £3 a month?”

That’s still cheaper than if he had to set up a contract with the council himself and he won’t be using it in the winter months.

My Neighbour gives me £20 at Christmas, he fills it 3/4, we hardly have anything. I hate to tell him from October it’s going up to £75 per year.

Cos the rogue is only doing it cos its free. If OP asked for £3 he'd sharp find an alternative.

how is he cheeky if he's asking? just say no?

I can't see the issue, but if letting him put grass cuttings in your bin once every few months is pissing you off then stop agreeing to it.

Meh. I don't think driving to the tip is very environmentally friendly and clearly not enough clippings to pay for a whole bin. So greater good says take his clippings.
I wouldn't be fussed about bin sharing. What if he feels like putting in loads of other crap one month.

If it annoys you stop agreeing to it. That simple isn't it?

Alternatively, if you have plenty of space that you aren't using then it's a nice thing to do. It's not actually costing you anything extra.

Better for the environment to share collection of a full-ish bin rather than two partials.

Do you not usually do neighbourly things? I power washed my neighbour's patio last week because I had rented a machine and seemed weird just to do mine and not offer to do theirs when ours are side by side. Didn't cost me anything.

I don’t really understand why it bothers you, OP. I would just say, next time he asks, ‘You know, it’s fine to put your grass clippings in. You don’t need to ask every time. Obviously if it’s anything else, please check in case I need the room.’

Why would she ask for 3 quid, it likely works out at 1.50 to 2 quid max a year, it’s not a business opportunity, 😂

Ask him to contribute to the cost of it so you can properly share it...

He's a CF.

About the argument: "she's paying for it anyways, whether the bin is full or not".
If you look at it from the opposite direction: She is not saving anything by "sharing" it with him.

If he's using it only a few months a year, I would suggest contributing a third of the cost. Saves him the transport and hassle, and she benefits from sharing. I agree with previous comments that if he wanted to be nice, too, instead of just the OP "being nice", he would have at least offered a gift or offered to pay a part; so far that has not happened, and the OP says it's been years.

OP does not lose anything by not sharing, either, while he does not contribute.
The neighbour could also have offered to take her garden waste to the tip along with his own, saving OP the full cost (and probably she would give him a thank-you gift or petrol contribution). That has not been suggested by him, either.

If they don't have anything else where they trade help/favours, when it would balance in the long run, then I'd ask for a contribution, depending if you would share half of the bin or a third (seeing as he does not always use it). The 20 could go towards a supermarket shop or anything else, neighbour saves the trip t the tip, both benefit from the share.

But if you fear your bin will be full right after collection, as he has history for, then definitely change something about the situation or that he can only use it before the next collection when there is space.

From an environmental perspective, it would probably be best he has his own bin, the collection truck will go through the street anyways, but if he transports tit to the tip, it's an additional drive.
Financially, it seems the best option is to share the cost. Then both benefit.

According to the OP, it’s £60 a year for the green bin.

Also, I don’t see why she shouldn’t profit from him wanting to use her bin as she’s made the effort to order and pay for it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

"why she shouldn’t profit"

She should apply to Dragons Den with her get rich quick grass cutting business idea!

The cost per year is irrelevant as it's only about 14 collections per year. Thats over £4 per pickup. And yes I appreciate the thread has descended into farce.

OMG! You are a sucker! Think of the several pence-worth of water and power you must have used! Send your neighbour an invoice asap!

How hard is it to say “Hey Bill, as you’re using my green bin more frequently now, I’d like you to contribute towards the cost, say £3 a month?”

It would be excruciating for me to ask my neighbour for £3. Imagine knocking on their door every month asking for a few pennies. Excruciating!

Wow. I presume you have never heard about knowing the price of everything and the value of nothing.

It's not only about a bin and some grass. In that case, sure, lenghty debates and collecting money may seem totally overdone.

It's about fairness, sharing resources to benefit both parties, about a man thinking a woman needs to "be nice", but not other way round, neighbourly help being onesided and no sign of reciprocation anywhere, and the famous "setting boundaries" that is so often mentioned on MN, yet when someone considers actually doing that about a non-generally-approved topic, it's "not nice".

I would do this

Is he a nice neighbour?

Ask him to pay some of the cost for the convenience Grass cuttings dont take much room, say £20 for the year.

Or tell him you'll let him know if there's room this week, and don't let him use it every time he asks .

Don’t split the cost. If you do you will then have a problem that he keeps filling the green bin before you have chance to use it. If he asks, and you know you have the space, then just let him use it, otherwise tell him you don’t have space or you need to clear your own garden waste first but will let him know if there is space.

I think you are overthinking it.

It is about a half empty bin and some grass cuttings being dumped into it a handful of times a year. Every neighbourly good turn does not have to be reciprocal all the time. It really has zero impact on the OPs life unless you want to start quibbling over pennies in which case I would be embarrassed for you.

Just wait until you're got more waste and say, sorry my bins full.