Neighbour being cheeky? Or AIBU?

[Motheringthrough]

We moved in a couple of years back and as I am a keen gardener, I arranged for our house to have a green bin collection (not sure if this is the case everywhere but it’s a service you pay extra for with our council)

About a month after moving in our next door neighbour asked if it would be alright if he put his grass clippings in our green bin. Trying to be friendly and neighbourly and all that, I said yes, thinking it would be a one off. They’ve never had a green bin and prior to us moving in next door, he used to take his garden waste to the tip.

Every time he has mown his lawn since (every 1-2 months I’d say) he asks me if he can put his grass cuttings in our green bin.

It is now starting to bother me that he doesn’t pay for his own green bin when he clearly would get a lot of use out of it. I just think to keep asking each time now is being cheeky and almost overstepping with the favour.

Am I being silly? I realise this is probably the most silly and middle England issue to post but I need to put my mind at rest!

Some of the mealy mouthed comments on here... No wonder the human race is fucked if you can't even let someone use your bin. My neighbour uses mine as they've a bigger family and create more rubbish. I would never have said no if I had the space, it's just mean

Asking to put his grass clippings in your bin every couple of months doesn't seem much BUT our garden waste collection has gone up from £76 last year to £120 this year! Why should I pay that when someone else who uses the service (through me) doesn't? I know it doesn't seem very neighbourly but I don't think he's fair putting you in that position.

We are and have been kind to neighbours over the years - I just wouldn't like the expectation element of it. Sorry if this seems mean spirited.

Rother District Council specifically forbid 'Garden waste' either in the general household rubbish bin, or the green recycling bin, each of which are emptied once a fortnight. They also have rules about the additional garden waste subscription and what is and isn't allowed in there. All documented on their
What Can I Put In My Bins page.

I've never lived anywhere that will remove garden waste put in the other bins since the introduction of the garden waste subscriptions and they're extremely hard on what they'll take from recycling as well, stickering with big dayglo 'CONTAMINATED' stickers and leaving the lot if you transgress.

There is space so no issue. Seems pointless to have 2 bins. If you have to say anything you could offer to split costs and share the bin.

I imagine it’s easier to spot contamination in the recycling than the general waste as it would be all bagged up amongst all sorts of crap

I would say to him please can you wait until the day before collection to see whether your bin is full, and if there is space then he can use it. We had to pay for a while before rhe council changed their mind. I think it was £38 a year - I wouldn't ask a neighbour to split that, you never know when you might need a favour in return, but they shouldn't use it until your gardening is done for that collection period.

See this ⬇

There was one occasion last summer where I had done both my lawns during the week and he then did both his at the weekend, the bin had only just been collected so it was full for another week until the next collection and I was unable to use it. I was just worried this might start to happen now that it’s summer.

This is going to happen more and more - he might ask if he can put grass cuttings in, but you mention that he also puts other stuff in there (without asking) and on at least this one occasion you could not use your own bin that you pay for.

At the very least, if this happens again, I would let him know that you couldn't use your own bin. Whatever you do don't suggest he pays half or it will always be full of his stuff because he's paid for it. I just think too, he wouldn't be being this cheeky if you were a man - and I don't think a man would have put up with it for this long either.

Believe me, if you say nothing, he will just get cheekier - why would he not?

I think I'd do it but make a joke like 'you owe me a coffee and a cake/couple of glasses of wine.' Because tbh if my neighbour bought me the odd coffee or glass of wine, that would be fine by me to use the bin once every month or two, provided I hadn't filled it up already.

This honestly wouldn’t bother me if it didn’t impact my own use of the bin, but then we’re also the neighbours that offer to take stuff to the tip for the family next door if we’re doing a tip run and have space in the car 🤷‍♀️

Because tbh if my neighbour bought me the odd coffee or glass of wine, that would be fine by me to use the bin once every month or two, provided I hadn't filled it up already.

But what if he filled it up before you'd managed to do your lawn?

Wow.

Think id be tempted to bite the bullet and say to him theres not gonna be enough space over summer but you can send him the details to pay for his own bin collection

thats not what’s happening so it’s irrelevant.

£60/52 weekly collections=£1.15 a week
/2 households = 57.69p each
x he uses it 12 times a year max
= £6.92 a year.

(If he uses it 9 times a year, average of every 1-2 months, it's £5.19 a year)

Plus £1 symbolic compensation for every time he's filled up your bin and you can't use it and it annoys you

Make it a tenner a year?

But it did happen - in OP's comment at 16.57.

Its 60 a year but only for 6-7 months so why calculate the cost over 12 months?

@Motheringthrough

I agree it would be 'weird' although I'd call it dog in the manager, if you never needed the vacant space yourself. If, however, as it seems your neighbour is asking on such a regular basis that it's their default, then yes, I would be put out, particularly if it was week one and the bin filled to the extent that you couldn't use it yourself for a week until it was emptied again.

Can appreciate that he asks, and that you want to keep a cordial relationship that you feel might sour if you say no, but I would say that you didn't mind when you have space, but he'll have to wait until next week when you know there's room because a few times it's been too full for your own waste.

You are seriously comparing unused space in a green bin that is of no consequence to the OP with a rented storage locker? I'm glad I live on street with nice neighbours, we are always lending/borrowing stuff and doing favours for each other without bean counting who owes what or shitting ourselves over being down a few quid.

Ask him if he minds washing it out every so often, if he's so keen on using it. Or split the cost of it?

The council notify us yearly of the cost and whether we would like to continue or cancel. I would ask neighbour if he would like to split the yearly cost to the next time so you can both benefit.

Indeed, one minute you are turning a blind eye to some neighbours grass cuttings in your bin and the next thing you know he is on the Champs Elysees at the head of an army.

We have to pay it wouldn't bother me as long as I have space. Suggest you split the cost then it's not only you that is burdened with it. If you don't always have space tell him he needs to get his own.

If it's full and you cannot use it yourself - say so. Say you're sorry you're normally perfectly happy with the arrangement, especially given that he continues to ask permission rather than just assuming its a given. But that due to the fact you're unable to use it yourself sometimes, you think he's going to have to arrange to get his own grass cuttings bin. I think that would be fine. I don't understand the need for coffee and cake. So British and weird.

Can you tell him to please not use it right after it's been emptied? As it's filling up to quickly and you've been unable to use it. If he accepts that then I'd say he isn't too cheeky. I hope he gets you a bottle of wine or nice box of chocolates at Christmas time to say thanks!

1. There was one occasion last summer where I had done both my lawns during the week and he then did both his at the weekend, the bin had only just been collected so it was full for another week until the next collection and I was unable to use it. I was just worried this might start to happen now that it’s summer

This is th eonly really important point I feel. So if he wants to use it at the beginning of the fortnight, I'd be inclined to say to him., "dave, totally happy for you to add anything just before collection but I'm a bit worried about space as we have mowed once already, will do at least another one and I'm planning a big weed over the weekend. can you store it on your side and if there's space [the day before collection] you're very welcome to add it. "