Neighbour being cheeky? Or AIBU?

[Motheringthrough]

We moved in a couple of years back and as I am a keen gardener, I arranged for our house to have a green bin collection (not sure if this is the case everywhere but it’s a service you pay extra for with our council)

About a month after moving in our next door neighbour asked if it would be alright if he put his grass clippings in our green bin. Trying to be friendly and neighbourly and all that, I said yes, thinking it would be a one off. They’ve never had a green bin and prior to us moving in next door, he used to take his garden waste to the tip.

Every time he has mown his lawn since (every 1-2 months I’d say) he asks me if he can put his grass cuttings in our green bin.

It is now starting to bother me that he doesn’t pay for his own green bin when he clearly would get a lot of use out of it. I just think to keep asking each time now is being cheeky and almost overstepping with the favour.

Am I being silly? I realise this is probably the most silly and middle England issue to post but I need to put my mind at rest!

Ok, tell me what the OP’s getting out of this arrangement?

I suspect you’re one of those who misuses the phrase ‘Be Kind” to mean “women, know your place!!” 🙄

Why does she have to 'get' anything? He has asked permission, he uses the bin a few times a year, he is not placing so much in the bin that it is preventing the collection of her garden waste. It literally has zero impact on her life and you trying to turn it into some wider narrative of misogynistic intent is just bizarre.

I have a jet washer, I lend it to various neighbours now and again, saves them the hire or purchase cost, I don't expect money or a bottle of wine, so long as they return it in the same condition I am content with sincere thankyou. Why does everything have to be transactional?

Ok, tell me what the OP’s getting out of this arrangement?

What is she losing from it if the bin isn't full? Why don't people believe in being neighbourly any more?

Up thread the OP said that the neighbour has, in fact, filled her bin so full with his grass and cuttings that on one occasion she was unable to use it herself and she's concerned that as summer approaches this is going to happen more often.

Clearly, the neighbour doesn't care if he inconveniences OP as long as he gets to use her bin as if it's his own without paying the £60 a year fee i.e. he's a freeloader.

Would you find that acceptable if your were the OP and your the only one paying for the use of this 'shared' bin?

There's being a good neighbour and then there's allowing someone to take advantage of you.

Why do you think OP should be 'kind' and 'a good neighbour' but it's fine for her neighbour can take advantage of her?

Yup, sorry, but I would if they asked repeatedly. If said neighbour was elderly, disabled or otherwise vulnerable I would let them use it every week no problem. But I gave this opinion from my own perspective. I assume the OP has to renew the bin fee each year, pay for it, and trundles the bin out and in every week. Why should OP have to take care of the neighbour’s life admin because they can’t be bothered to get a green bin? They clearly have a repeated use for one.

If annoys you ( & I think it annoy me as well if it was all of the time), why don't you just make sure it's full when he next asks, which then gives you the opportunity to say that as it's summer and you're cutting back plants, mowing more often it might be a good idea for him to get a bin as yours is going to be full.

Cos if OP wanted to be neighbourly she'd have offered him the bin use. Instead he asked if he could use it, hence CF.

Goodness.you have very strong views on your neighbours should not ask you for anything no matter how minor or if it doesn’t remotely inconvenience you.

fair enough, at least you’re honest.

@Roseyjane Its the monetary aspect though. Councils used to offer garden waste collections for free but for years now they've gradually phased in charges and put them up. Matey boy here has taken advantage of his new neighbours a month after they moved in, having spotted they'd paid for the garden waste, ergo hes a CF. This isn't a longstanding neighbourly relationship here.

Yes, another vote for cheeky. It's irrelevant how much spare room you have in your bins - they're YOUR bins.

Also, I think a favour is something you ask once. Any more, and it's overstepping the mark into CF territory. My friend bought a special long brush/hose thingy for cleaning the roof of her conservatory and another friend asked to borrow it every year. She didn't mind at first, but after a couple of years said 'Why don't you buy one yourself?'

Doesn't matter that 'it was no skin of her nose' to lend it. This woman was being very cheeky to continue asking. When I've done anything like this, after the first time I've gone out and paid for the useful gadget myself.

If I had the space it wouldn’t bother me, but if it’s pissing you off why don’t you just say next time he asks ‘Oh sorry Geoff, we’ve been blitzing the garden this weekend and my green bin is full to the brim!’

If you say that the next few times he’ll get the message, but if yours isn’t full, I can’t see the problem, it’s a neighbourly thing to do and one day you might need the favour repaid. It pays to keep neighbours on side.

I have someone who does this and I see the annoyance but feel if it isn’t full it’s ok

He’s very cheeky. I couldn’t possibly have got more in mine yesterday, must ask the adjoining neighbour to cut back the ivy that’s taking over my garden! If another neighbour asked to put stuff in, I’d say no, it’s cheeky and I’d tell him to get his own!

Yes, another vote for cheeky. It's irrelevant how much spare room you have in your bins - they're YOUR bins.

Yes, so are absolutely at liberty to not stress about something so stupid and stop being petty and mean about some empty space in them.

So then say no?!?!
He asks you and you say yes....

Maybe Im just super intelligent and know what the solution is. Well I know I am.
When we humans rub along together we do each other little favours, it makes the world go round and its good to use other facilities as they can use our stuff in return..Now, as these activities go along there is a danger; what happens is as its all going on ONE PERSON can start getting another feeling. Its called : Being ' Used'....if theres a danger of one person starting to feel this way then small token of appreciation us in order. Some flowers from your garden, or vegetables, or bar of chocolate. If someone regularly takes in and cares for parcels dont take the piss, buy them a drink !!!!!!

What you could do is tell him to check the night before collection if there's space and if there is he can use it. Then you don't even have to know if he's used it, but the inconvenience might get to him. If you share the cost he might fill it up himself and you'll have another problem on your hands.

I’d be inclined to say no next time he asks, with the reason being it’s summer and your bin is now likely to be full each week.

i’d also probably then send him the link for the ordering of a green bin of his own

I think you can put a padlock on wheelie bin lids?

Silly question maybe but I take it he knows you have to pay for it? Where I am (Scotland) we don’t pay extra for our brown garden waste bin so it might not be obvious to everyone.
To be honest if it’s only a small amount I’d probably let it go. But if he is as keen a gardener as you, uses the lawnmower and weeds etc as often as you then I think I would ask him to split the cost. Or, tell him he might be better getting his own as you have a big garden job coming up…..

He is a greedy bastard that will take the water off a frog leaping off a leaf and the more you allow him to put in your bin the more he will use you! Next year say to him you pay and I’ll put
my waste in yours and she what the greedy fucker says!!!

😂😂😂

You need to make sure your bin is full the next couple of times he asks. Point out he probably needs to get his own bin now summer is here as you’ll be cutting your lawn more regularly and don’t want the bin filled with his waste and no space for your own ( as has previously happened to you )

I think he is being very tight.
Oy local council suggests that if people have small gardens they share the cost of one bin. If he asks after the bin has just been emptied, tell him to wait and see until the day before collection how much space you have left as you are planning on doing quite a lot of gardening. The inconvenience of keeping it for a while should put him off.
Are you sure he used to take it to the tip. Perhaps he just hid it in with his general waste.

My neighbour once did this with permission once, but without permission a few more times. The one that gave me the rage was when he filled it after the final collection of the year, so I had a full bin over winter and it really irritated me. Even though I wasn't using it during winter. I didn't like that my first collection of the new year was needed to empty the bin rather than being able to do a first lawn cut etc.