All-day festival disappointment

[Doglover321]

Hi everyone. My dad has very kindly purchased tickets for me, him, his friend, and a friend of my choosing to attend an expensive all-day music festival.

My parents separated before I was born and have never, ever done anything together as a family unit due to tension which is still present (including his current partner not liking my mum, etc.). However, my mum is really upset because she’d like the 4th ticket. I have been trying to tell her politely that it would be weird and awkward and that I would rather invite a friend, but she’s not taking no for an answer and is really upset and disappointed because my friend has said yes to the 4th ticket. AIBU? Surely it should be up to me who I invite/parents should accept it won’t always be them who are chosen? Let me know your thoughts because I know a lot of you are mum’s yourselves! 😁

Your Mum is bonkers to expect you to invite her!

Christ if I was your mum I wouldn’t want to go at all.

The tickets were bought for you, not your mum! If she wants to go she’ll have to buy her own ticket, can she buy a couple of tickets for you and her to go on a different day?

If your mum wants to go she can presumably get a ticket herself and see the festival independently.

It's an insane idea to try to muscle in on an ExH's day out like this. Of course you aren't going to choose your mum as your +1. What a horrible dynamic that would be for your dad's friend, to be in a group with you 3.

She is ridiculous given you have never done anything as a family, you should tell her that. It would make the day completely awkward and horrible for everyone. Tell her your friend has already accepted.

Wow your mother is being super weird. Wanting basically her ex to pay for her to attend this event. And to go with him. That’s all kind of wrong. Does she still carry a torch?

I have told her my friend has already accepted and she’s really cross and still not accepting that she can’t have the 4th ticket. She doesn’t seem to respect my boundaries at all!

Your mum would be already unreasonable if it was a gift from a friend,

but her ex husband? She is ridiculous.

Yes, really odd IMO too! I’d never expect my ex to buy me a concert ticket

She’s being insane.

Ex boyfriend. They were actually only together for a few months before she fell pregnant!

Don't back down, tell her your friend has accepted and can't be changed. Maybe say that there's dinner booked for 4 or something which means she will have to be in the group and it's going to be extremely awkward.

Wow that's batshittery of the highest form!!!

She genuinely doesn’t seem to understand the weirdness. Keeps saying his current partner doesn’t need to know, etc!

Could she have a thing for him still? The only thing I can think of is she wants to spend the day with him and his mate.

Yeah, she might still have a thing for him..

Is she usually unreasonable in this way?

It seems to be mostly about the music. She likes some of the artists because they’re 80s. But there’s nothing stopping her from buying a ticket herself?

Yeah you shouldn’t take her!

Is there a favourite band of hers playing that she’s desperate to see or something?

How old are you?

Is it rewind..

Unfortunately, yes. Doesn’t seem to take no for an answer

27

No not Rewind. Haven’t heard of them before xx

How old are you OP and how long has you DF been with current partner?

If it was just an ex-BF you would think they could have got on all right over the years to do things as a family before. The fact that you haven't says to me there us more to it that just his current partner not liking her...perhaps the fact she has no boundaries was a reason for the split and on going tension?

Anyway - no.
They are a gift for you, you get to choose.
But as your DF bought them and is also going he does IMHO get a say/veto. So even if you did ask your mum your dad could say no, don't want her to come. And she should respect that.

Plus you have already asked your friend...its a done deal