All-day festival disappointment

[Doglover321]

Hi everyone. My dad has very kindly purchased tickets for me, him, his friend, and a friend of my choosing to attend an expensive all-day music festival.

My parents separated before I was born and have never, ever done anything together as a family unit due to tension which is still present (including his current partner not liking my mum, etc.). However, my mum is really upset because she’d like the 4th ticket. I have been trying to tell her politely that it would be weird and awkward and that I would rather invite a friend, but she’s not taking no for an answer and is really upset and disappointed because my friend has said yes to the 4th ticket. AIBU? Surely it should be up to me who I invite/parents should accept it won’t always be them who are chosen? Let me know your thoughts because I know a lot of you are mum’s yourselves! 😁

I’ve tried encouraging her to go out and join groups, find some hobbies, make friends of her own etc because I think it would do her good, but I’m never successful

Go and stay with your friends for a few nights before the festival.

I have a dd your age and cannot imagine behaving like your mother!

Have fun!

Irrelevant!
Some people are lonely and want friends
Some get on just fine without many/any close friends.
She has you which is great but it doesn't mean she gets to impose herself on you or anyone else.

She can “not accept” it all she likes. She doesn’t have a ticket, end of.
What is she expecting to do, turn up anyway and try to wrestle the ticket off your friend?

Oh god OP. Stay with friend or your dad night before festival (and day of it too if you can).

And in the longer term - move out!

Do you have the physical tickets for you and your friend? If you do, then keep them safe out of her reach.

Do not engage in any conversation with her about these tickets. "I am going with Jill" is all you need to say.

Stay elsewhere the night beforehand, ideally with the friend you are going with, but in a B&B if necessary, but don't give her lots of notice about this. Phone her after you have gone out to say you are staying elsewhere.

In future, don't discuss your plans with her.

It's horrible to say this about someone's mum, but she is being incredibly self centered and unreasonable.

Thank you everyone for the support and advice x

Good grief, calm down,

You need to stop sharing too much with her if she holds it against you.

Thanks to all who have voted. Seems I’m not being unreasonable x

Dad’s friend can no longer make it due to being in hospital, so I have been told to invite a 2nd friend of mine. Invited 2nd friend this morning who can come. Mum is livid again!

Why did you tell her? You are completely doing the right thing in not giving her the ticket, but it feels a bit like rubbing it in.

You need to practice not telling her stuff.
Never volunteer information. Only talk about inconsequential things.
If she asks questions, practice having some vague replies, like "Oh I'm not sure" or "I don't have any plans made yet" or "I'm going out with X friend tonight, we haven't decided where to go".

Really .....???

I was stood outside waiting for him and she insisted keeping the door open, waiting for him to turn up herself. Even though I told her to just go inside and I can greet him. When he finally got to us, she told him how jealous she was and that she really wanted a ticket, but then left it at that. Phew. I think she might still have a thing for him though….