AIBU to “steal” this?

[AmiABadPersonn]

Hello everyone I just want your opinions on this as today I’ve been in a heated argument with my friend as to wether I am unreasonable or not.

I am off work on maternity leave so the funds are tight at minute. There is a man who lives near me I believe he is drug user, he sells half price stuff and also takes orders on what you want for half price. He knocks on my house about 1 or 2 times a week with a bag of half price goods. I always buy washing detergent and softeners from him because you can get a whole weeks laundry of the nice brands for around £10. Money is tight as I have just had a baby and I have 2 other children with my husband also. i also sometimes get baby milk formula from him if I’m running low because it’s cheap.

I feel like this is not wrong because if I didn’t buy it other people would. Even if no one bought it he would steal it anyway in hopes someone would buy it eventually.

Today my friend was at my house when he came so I offered her to have a look what he had. She immediately asked him where he got this stuff from and he replied “shop”. She didn’t say much after but when I finished buying my items she started shouting about how I’m funding his drugs addiction and I shouldn’t support it because I am now stealing too. I told her to relax it’s fine it’s only a couple of items. She didn’t say much and finished her coffee and left quick.

So am I morally wrong for this? Or would you do the same?

Agree in general. Anyone who thinks people do not have to scrimp and save to feed their family in the UK today is living in cloud cuckoo land. Many families are in this situation. Many are struggling. Meanwhile energy companies make outrageous profits, are seen profiteering! Were the price of energy to have gone up only by the price of the sources, the energy companies would not be making greater profits, just the same per centage. This is globalisation and the lack of control by governments over big business. And we all suffer.
And a lot of people on here have never been 'on the bones of their arse' - they simply have no idea.

So you’re good with druggies stealing from supermarkets but presumably not so happy if they decided to burgle your house? Because they’re not Robin Hood undermining the inequities of society on your behalf, they’ll nick anything to put money into the pockets of organised criminals who are responsible for major frauds and ltrafficking people as well as drugs.

Because OP claims that money is tight, hence the need to buy stolen goods, yet she chooses to overspend on unnecessary laundry products.
Have you never seen posts on MN telling OP to size down/ move to a cheaper area if money is tight?
At least switching to a cheaper washing powder is easier than moving house 🤷‍♀️

To be honest, are you not worried that the baby milk formula could have been tampered with? It's a risk

Because she's buying stolen goods. She thinks she's getting it cheaply but actually she's spending more than necessary. Its not weird.

Guess you won't be hearing from that friend again 🤣

Absolutely.

I suspect @AmiABadPersonn is the sort of person who a) can't distinguish between "want" and "need", b) thinks they're entitled to whatever they want, and c) couldn't budget in a month of Sundays so wastes what little money they have on bloody "scent balls".

In answer to your username, OP, yes you are. You're no better than the thieves and if you think this is a victimless crime then that's even fucking worse.

I agree with this

If your going to steal, do it yourself

@dubberrucky

I know what true poverty is.

I've sat in a freezing cold house, and no hot water, this was the case for years, not just a day or two.

Gone without food many a time so my DC could eat. Gone without electricity sometimes as well. There was wallpaper peeling off, and if anything broke, what to do? No money to save for a replacement, not even second hand. I've washed clothes in a bath full of cold water, and where do you dry things if it's raining? The house was damp and in a terrible condition.

Thankfully things have improved for us, and DD2 and me are in a new house now, and receiving proper benefits.

Even with all that, I did not, and never did consider stealing anything. I would never, no matter how bad my situation was.

Amongst the hundreds of thieves I've dealt with over the years I could count the one's stealing because they're hungry on one hand. Biggest group doing it are addicts funding their drugs or booze. We get very few obviously homeless shoplifters and most of our most prolific frequent flyers live on the estate opposite. They nick in order of preference: laundry stuff, all the meat, booze. We keep all the laundry stuff behind the till now.

The people we have caught stealing because they're hungry we give them food, but they nick sandwiches or a tin of something, not laundry pods etc.

Part of the profits of our business go to local causes and we support a homeless charity and a local youth outreach thing, we've been contributing to, and encouraging donations to food banks since they were an unofficial thing run by local anarchists.

People like OP are why businesses like ours get robbed. Some matey doesn't see a difference between Tesco and us, they just see someone who's got more than they have (which is OP as well) as an opportunity to exploit. I don't see how people think that's reasonable, or understandable.

If OP and her kids, having exhausted any reasonable alternative, were genuinely hungry then I fully understand nicking stuff, I really do. I would sooner steal than starve, I would sooner steal than see a dependant starve, but this is not that. This is someone buying expensive products because money is tight "right now"

Right now implies not in perpetuity. OP just doesn't want to give up her full wage expectations whilst on maternity leave. Normal people would do without the luxuries "right now"

The question in the op is am I bad person(?) and yes OP is a bad person and so are all the pp who say it's okay. You steal from people, you fund organised crime, you fund drug addiction and exploitation, you steal money from charities and food from food banks. Fine you're not murderers but you collectively blight the lives of everyone and generally help make the world a shittier place for everyone. So yeah, bad is a generous assessment

The answer to any question that begins AIBU to steal is YES, you are utterly unreasonable scum.

You are exactly the same as the drug addict you support, and when he can't get into the shops so easily because every single security guard recognises him, he'll be round your house lifting your tv, or your kids PlayStation or whatever else he can sell quickly to one of your kind because there are plenty more scum like you who think they are entitled to what they want rather than what they need.

You are bringing your children up to be scum too, who think it's fine to steal if it gets them what they want so if you want to know what the dregs of society look like, just look in the mirror or at any family photos you may have lying around.

The more people like you in the world OP, the worse the world gets.

No matter how many chemicals you pour on your clothes to drown out the scent of thief, you still stink because you are rotten to the core.

You are probably causing some poor independent shop owner sleepless nights because he's losing stock from his shop. Even if it's Sainsbury's, they have to put prices up to cover thefts so morally you're affecting everyone.

I spend £5-7 on Persil which does about 60 washes. I use half the recommended amount so it lasts ages. I don't know if I get 120 washes out of it!

Don't support a drug habit. Or a thief. Morally, getting him arrested might mean he gets clean and receives training to get a proper legitimate job.

Very well said, it’s sickening the amount of people that think it’s ok!

So true, one day she will open the door and he’ll see something he fancies in her house, before she knows it he or his mates will be back and they won’t care who they hurt in the process. Will Serve her right!

I fat fingered my phone and it voted you’re reasonable,
I don’t agree with my finger at all.

If you try again and click the choice you actually want it will change. You get more than one go.

I grew up in an especially deprived area in the north east on a council estate - this used to be pretty common. OP, it definitely doesn't make you a bad person to buy from him. We were on the bones of our arse growing up, so we used to look forward to them coming round some brought blocks of cheese/joints of meat and others brought toiletries/make-up. It was normal practice living on the breadline. Assuming they are all drug addicts isn't fair really, most we had regularly were just trying to get a bit of money and get by. If you've never had to live around this, then lucky you.

If it's to save money in this crazy cost of living crisis we're going through, then power to you I say.

and just to add to this - I definitely did not grow up thinking it is 'okay to steal' and I'm not a scumbag with no morals, nor are my family.

People going through hard times, who suffer with addiction or those who grow up in poverty aren't all nasty, evil, people or hardened criminals that grow up to be a stain on the world! (Shocker, I know!)

The privilege and judgement in this thread is gross.

Re-read the OP.
She isn't on the bones of her arse. She is buying expensive brands of completely unnecessary additional laundry extras. If she stuck to cheap, own brand washing powder from Aldi she would have loads more to spend on food.

So @LelyKelly23 if someone burgles your house and takes your possessions you’ll be fine about it? It beggars believe that you can be so casual about stealing.
‘If it's to save money in this crazy cost of living crisis we're going through, then power to you I say’
You epitomise everything that is bad about this country, you are a part of the low life that have no moral compass. You will no doubt raise children who think it’s fine to steal and live off benefits provided by hard working people.
You should be ashamed of yourself.

The number of scroats on this thread who think the OP isn't being unreasonable beggars belief.

Fortunately, the majority of us have some kind of moral compass.

Hahaha, it's absolutely not the same. I'm not even going to entertain you with a thought out response. You carry on living in your ignorant little world. Maybe step out into the real world someday.

Absolutely this 👏

She isn't on the bones of her arse.

True, but some posters on here just flat out refuse to see that.

I agree. How can someone describe what that guy is doing as some sort of legitimate business model?
Just a couple of posts further up an actual shop owner explained what impact such behaviour has on businesses, but some people just don’t care.