AIBU to “steal” this?

[AmiABadPersonn]

Hello everyone I just want your opinions on this as today I’ve been in a heated argument with my friend as to wether I am unreasonable or not.

I am off work on maternity leave so the funds are tight at minute. There is a man who lives near me I believe he is drug user, he sells half price stuff and also takes orders on what you want for half price. He knocks on my house about 1 or 2 times a week with a bag of half price goods. I always buy washing detergent and softeners from him because you can get a whole weeks laundry of the nice brands for around £10. Money is tight as I have just had a baby and I have 2 other children with my husband also. i also sometimes get baby milk formula from him if I’m running low because it’s cheap.

I feel like this is not wrong because if I didn’t buy it other people would. Even if no one bought it he would steal it anyway in hopes someone would buy it eventually.

Today my friend was at my house when he came so I offered her to have a look what he had. She immediately asked him where he got this stuff from and he replied “shop”. She didn’t say much after but when I finished buying my items she started shouting about how I’m funding his drugs addiction and I shouldn’t support it because I am now stealing too. I told her to relax it’s fine it’s only a couple of items. She didn’t say much and finished her coffee and left quick.

So am I morally wrong for this? Or would you do the same?

Yes, you are supporting his lifestyle and addictions. His 'deals' are also costing the shopowners. Please reflect

i assume you don’t have children ? My mum is bladder incontinent, my washing machine is on most days, and my monthly spend on detergent, laundry sanitiser and fabric conditioner is around £30.

This.

There's no way I'd buy baby formula from a stranger! You have no idea if it's been tampered with/stored correctly/poisoned.

so what are you teaching your kids? That it is ok to steal? By buying stolen goods, you are condoning the activity. This is wrong on so many levels. And just because others are doing something wrong and illegal doesn't give you a pass to do it too. If everyone was jumping in fire, would you jump in it too? Big corporation or small shop, theft is theft. It is wrong, it is illegal and only despicable people conduct such activities. I would reconsider my friendship if I were your friend.

Its morally wrong but if you're that hard up then no one should judge you. Do what you gotta do.

In this country, no one, absolutely no one, needs to buy stolen goods to feed their family. They absolutely should be judged, and judged harshly.

Look you know your own circumstances better than anyone. Of course driven by desperation we would all turn to any means fair or foul to take care of ourselves and our families.

Yes technically it’s stealing, and yes you are legally breaking the law. If you were my friend I wouldn’t judge you for it, and if I could spare it I’d offer to help you buy some essentials to get you over a financial hump.

I don’t buy the whole “it’s a big corporation so they won’t miss it” fallacy either. Trust me they won’t bear the loss, they will increase prices to cover it. So it’s everyone else that’s suffering from this incrementally at a time we’re all feeling the squeeze. You probably need to tell yourself this to justify it.

However in general terms it’s not the biggest sin in the world. It’s just one of those things that if we ALL did it things would get very very bad very quickly.

Never been on the bones of your arse have you ? Not condoning what OP is doing but it’s understandable that she’s doing whatever she needs to to take care of here family/

No she's not.

Branded washing pods, scent beads etc are not exactly essential items, are they?
Her kids clothes will be just as clean with the much cheaper, Aldi powder ...

She just has to not spend £10+ a week on stolen branded cleaning items, she can be just as clean for £10 a month...

Breastfeeding is FREE! - buying stolen goods is no excuse.
OP is funding someone's drug habit.

Don't invite an unknown drug addict into your home OP.

Here's 40 washes for £3.75. NO need for fabric conditioner, it's pointless anyway.

https://www.lidl.co.uk/p/formil-washing-powder-non-bio-40-washes/p151389

£10 a week on laundry detergents, seriously? Of course it’s not cheap, and also not necessary.

Really? 2kg if washing powder from Aldi is £3.75 that's 40 washes, so 2 boxes at £7.50 easily enough to get a month worth of washes (80 loads or 2-3 a day)

Just don't use conditioner... £0. Easy.

Then disinfectant, you can buy 1ltr of concentrated disinfectant for 95p, which will make up 10 litres of disinfectant, chuck it in a spray bottle and use a cloth... Using a litre of spray a week? So, EASILY a month of cleaning for 50p.

Then dishwasher tablets? 40 tablets for under £4. Get 2 boxes and all it £8 for the month, why not.

So you can have clean clothes, dishes and surfaces for under £20 a month... So fuck knows why anyone thinks £10 a WEEK is cheap.

Not everyone can breastfeed.

But there's no need to buy stolen goods..

If you're in UK- Did you know that while on maternity, you can still get a Universal Credit to top up your maternity payment? If you're tight so much, you shouldn't have a problem getting it. You just need to apply.

Well, I have children, my washing machine is also on most days, but no, I don’t spend £30/ month (or £40, like OP) on laundry detergent.

She doesn't need a friend to subsidise her buying essentials. She just needs to stop wasting money on non-essentials like fucking scent balls. The OP is not desperate, she is just morally void. And her circumstances are down to her own choices, contraception is free in this country so there is no need to keep having children if you can't provide for them.

You know nothing about me whatsoever.
The woman is buying fucking scent balls, just about the most unnecessary thing ever and totally not needed to take care of her family.
I bet all those on here condoning theft also think it's ok to have a TV, pay for things like Netflix or sky, have manicures and pedicures, go out for food, meet friends in coffee shops, drink and smoke, all or most of which I almost guarantee the OP spends money on, none of which are necessities and could all be easily given up if money is a struggle.
There are plenty of posters on here who have been or are struggling financially but would never ever sink so low as to think buying stolen goods is acceptable.

Tbh, That still doesn’t make sense if you’re paying that weekly? A box of pods is between 25-34 ish washes depending on size. A fabric softener will do 50+. Surely you don’t use that all every week? Stain remover should last weeks really, and scent balls are totally unnecessary, especially if funds are limited. You could get a box of branded pods and a fabric softener in the supermarket for less than a tenner as it is!

£30???
There's no need, if you're using it at most 1 per day, that's what, 30 washes?

Let's assume you wash 30 times a month,.with sanitiser every wash..

At supermarkets,
A 40 wash power box is less than £4..so call it £3.50 for a month.
A 60 wash conditioner under £4, so £2 per month.
Sanitiser , 2 bottles (28 washes -ish) is £6.

That's what £12 at most? . What are you buying to make it £30?

It'll be the pointless smelling bead.things that will make it super expensive.

I dunno, with TikTok and all the "cleanfluencers" knocking about filling up glass jars and bottles with scent beads and chucking mugfuls of them in every load, you could be convinced that these pointless micro plastics are a normal and needed part of washing clothes.

LOL

We grew up poorer than poor, I'm talking mum and dad skipping meals so kids could eat, no heating on, hand me downs through 4 kids etc

They never stole, nor bought stolen goods of drug addicts...