AIBU to “steal” this?

[AmiABadPersonn]

Hello everyone I just want your opinions on this as today I’ve been in a heated argument with my friend as to wether I am unreasonable or not.

I am off work on maternity leave so the funds are tight at minute. There is a man who lives near me I believe he is drug user, he sells half price stuff and also takes orders on what you want for half price. He knocks on my house about 1 or 2 times a week with a bag of half price goods. I always buy washing detergent and softeners from him because you can get a whole weeks laundry of the nice brands for around £10. Money is tight as I have just had a baby and I have 2 other children with my husband also. i also sometimes get baby milk formula from him if I’m running low because it’s cheap.

I feel like this is not wrong because if I didn’t buy it other people would. Even if no one bought it he would steal it anyway in hopes someone would buy it eventually.

Today my friend was at my house when he came so I offered her to have a look what he had. She immediately asked him where he got this stuff from and he replied “shop”. She didn’t say much after but when I finished buying my items she started shouting about how I’m funding his drugs addiction and I shouldn’t support it because I am now stealing too. I told her to relax it’s fine it’s only a couple of items. She didn’t say much and finished her coffee and left quick.

So am I morally wrong for this? Or would you do the same?

Then go to a food bank before you end up in jail and not seeing your baby at all for being part of an organized theft operation, ffs.

She's not poor though, is she? She can afford to spend £10 per week on laundry products.

Well yes, it is morally a bit of a sore spot. However, I know what it is like to be really tight for money, properly tight, and I wouldn't judge you for it.
I would be concerned about him being at your house though.

Food banks often don't hand out Formula because it's a high value item.

But she doesn’t seem to be „really properly tight for money“, otherwise she wouldn’t be buying overpriced laundry balls! Gosh, why do people keep saying it…

No justification for knowingly buying stolen goods.

And I wish the term 'shop-lifting' were never used. It's theft, pure and simple. 'Shop-lifting' makes it sound like a minor misdemeanor. It's a crime. And we honest shoppers pay for the actions of the thieves.

The baby formula is a red herring here though she can go to the food bank and get other things to be able to put that money toward formula or get food vouchers to buy baby formula. She can stop spending so much money on laundry products no one needs and just buy regular detergent. The argument that you need to steal to feed your hungry baby is not really genuine here. If someone had a hungry child and they stole a loaf of bread, who would have the heart to prosecute them? But the OP is trying to justify being part of an illegal theft ring she is paying him to steal scented laundry balls. She's not a passive party in this scenario. She has a relationship with him. She's involved in the theft.

It is morally reprehensible and people should stop twisting themselves into knots trying to justify it.

Sorry @inamarina missed that post. What the Jeff are laundry balls?! And no, basic bog standard powder and FC are all you need.

I‘ve only heard about them today, so not entirely sure what OP meant - maybe something like this:

https://airpure.com/products/incrediballs-washing-balls-starter-pack

But then, it says it’s detergent, softener and brightener in one, but she seems to have used them in addition to the other stuff?

What if he gets caught and tells police he is stealing to order for you?

Yeah you're a scumbag sorry

For me, It's less about the stealing and more about letting/encouraging a junkie to keep calling to your house when your have DC. That's grim OP!

You’re stealing to order.

You think you’re poor and want a handout because you can’t afford fancy washing balls.
You have no idea about true poverty.

You’d probably turn up to a food bank having had your nails done. And not see what’s wrong with it.

You are absolutely right and if anything does happen, social services would definitely get involved and not be to thrilled that a mother knew someone was a huge risk to her children and yet she encouraged him to visit their home and then engaged in illegal activity with him. She’s a greedy idiot. This is not stealing to feed her family, it’s stealing for luxury goods she and her family could do without. People always make the same excuse, that they would steal anyway! No they wouldn’t if everyone was honest and didn’t buy if off them!

It's hardly the point, but laundry scent balls are a complete waste of money. All they do is add smelly chemicals to your wash. And white vinegar is a much better softener than most fabric softeners. If you make more economical choices, you won't feel tempted to buy these 'bargains.' I know it's unlikely, but imagine how you would feel if you were prosecuted.

Explain how the fuck you think the Op exploiting a man's drug dependency for her own gain and to benefit a child she shouldn't have had because she can't afford it is not a societal issue?

I think with "laundry balls" she means those ridiculous scent booster things. Unstoppables I think they are called, have never bought them because I don't really want to walk around smelling of detergent.

Have you not noticed @RobertaFirmino that the main social issue that leads to food poverty is parents having children they can’t afford and then expecting the state to bail them out with every benefit going.
If you can’t afford to feed and raise a family then take responsibility and stop having kids until you can do so.
Its simple!

You can get both of these items from your local food bank. Your GP will even prescribe you free baby formula if you are struggling. These would be better options.

With pleasure. If there were fewer drug addicts and better addiction services, shoplifting would reduce. Working out why these people turn to drugs in the first place and addressing these issues is key.
If people had enough money to make ends meet, they would be less likely to buy stolen goods. Why are people skint? It certainly isn't all bad budgeting/living beyond means, the fact is that the COL continues to increase. Why is it not being properly addressed? That would certainly help to reduce both shoplifting and the purchase of stolen goods.
Yes, theft is out of order but current approaches don't do much good. Removing reasons/compulsions to steal in the first place seems reasonable to me.

The op said money was tight , not that she couldn't afford her shopping she just prefers to buy from random drug dealers (addicts) who come to her door.
She isn't asking for budgeting ideas, she seems very pleased with her choice.
Just grim on so many levels

Nobody who spends £10 per week on laundry is on the breadline.

Some people do have more children than they can afford, it's true. Some parents become ill, widowed, single or redundant. Some are simply feckless. I suspect the rising cost of virtually everything has more of an effect on food poverty though.

@OrlandointheWilderness @inamarina OP means this shit. Basically you will put a cap full to every wash to give your clothes a fake “fresh” scent. They’re expensive and you will use loads per wash, which is probably why OP thinks they’re poor and it’s “justifiable” when actually they just don’t have money to piss away, you know like the vast majority of people.