AIBU to “steal” this?

[AmiABadPersonn]

Hello everyone I just want your opinions on this as today I’ve been in a heated argument with my friend as to wether I am unreasonable or not.

I am off work on maternity leave so the funds are tight at minute. There is a man who lives near me I believe he is drug user, he sells half price stuff and also takes orders on what you want for half price. He knocks on my house about 1 or 2 times a week with a bag of half price goods. I always buy washing detergent and softeners from him because you can get a whole weeks laundry of the nice brands for around £10. Money is tight as I have just had a baby and I have 2 other children with my husband also. i also sometimes get baby milk formula from him if I’m running low because it’s cheap.

I feel like this is not wrong because if I didn’t buy it other people would. Even if no one bought it he would steal it anyway in hopes someone would buy it eventually.

Today my friend was at my house when he came so I offered her to have a look what he had. She immediately asked him where he got this stuff from and he replied “shop”. She didn’t say much after but when I finished buying my items she started shouting about how I’m funding his drugs addiction and I shouldn’t support it because I am now stealing too. I told her to relax it’s fine it’s only a couple of items. She didn’t say much and finished her coffee and left quick.

So am I morally wrong for this? Or would you do the same?

My daughter works in a shop that is raided regularly by low life's like him. She's terrified when he comes in the shop because she doesn't know what he's going to do. He fills bags up with laundry stuff and leaves. If she approaches him, he has a go at her and throws stuff around the shop- it's a small local shop.
Unfortunately the police have done nothing about it and until my daughter can get another job, she's stuck- she has bills to pay and needs the money.
So just think about those on the receiving end of your drug users shopping spree....

How many washes do you do a day?

I would go to a food bank if you genuinely can't afford to feed your kids rather than fund a shoplifter and his habits and risk a criminal record for yourself. We all like a bargain but I doubt buying from him or not is the difference between them eating or not?

Also, probably unlikely but there is a big problem in China with counterfeit baby formula. If some of that fell off the back of a lorry the man might sell that to you. I would never take that risk with my baby.

Stealing is wrong no matter your circumstances.

I do think not says a lot about the state of our society that man has enough desperate people needing essentials like washing power and baby milk o make this worth while for him. It's like the drastic rise in use of food banks. We have some serious problems

No judgement here. It's all very well taking the moral high ground but shouldn't we be angry about the social issues that lead to drug addiction, shoplifting and food poverty instead?

Have you been living under a rock???? Shop staff are being physically assaulted regularly these days by shoplifters.

please don’t complain that supermarkets have put up their prices to cover stock losses. If you think ‘they won’t miss it’ then you are stupid.

well @AmiABadPersonn if you have already decided you are in the right, why post at all?

My mother was looking after my 5 year old and they walked up to the big supermarket to get some shopping. As they left a man ran past with two big bags. Security tried to intercept and the man swung a bag at him, which hit a window which in turn shattered (safety glass at least) as did some of the things inside the bag. A huge mess, the man got away with the other bag and staff had to make the door safe and clear away the mess. My daughter was terrified. Still victimless?

A few years ago I did a car boot sale and the next stall was a couple of people who for various reasons we assumed where drug addicts. They had a blanket rather than a table and lots of packets of stickers/children’s craft kits/toys, some of which had shop prices still on, and a mishmash of other stuff. I didn’t assume they were stolen at that point, but a lad was rummaging through one of their bags of random items and went away, to come back with his father. I was shamelessly earwigging at this point. The two went through the bag together and came up with a handful of things they said had been stolen from their house, including a cap with the lad’s very unusual name on it. The stallholders made a couple of vague excuses, then grabbed the blanket by the corners and ran. People steal to cover their drug habit. Just because they are stealing from shops doesn’t mean they aren’t also stealing from homes.

well I don't think anyone who thinks £10 for a weeks worth of laundry stuff is a saving is about to gain entry to Mensa...

What‘s there to extrapolate? OP said she’s spending £10/ week on mostly unnecessary items, because she can get them half price.
Why would someone who can’t afford to feed their children as you put it spend that kind of money on unnecessary luxuries?

tate of our society that man has enough desperate people needing essentials like washing power and baby milk

essentials are not fancy branded washing powder and scent balls. Baby formula is covered by tokens for people who are genuinely skint.

Let's not try to paint the picture of a poor, desperate mother who is scraping together the coppers to afford a loaf. This is a woman who is turning a blind eye to thievery to afford her luxuries.

But surely according to that logic one could say that the prices before the COL crisis were the maximum amounts people were prepared to pay? Yet they did rise, and people didn’t just stop buying things.

If you can’t afford to feed your children then don’t have them, the OP has a baby that she clearly can’t afford.
It’s almost laughable, I can’t afford to feed my kids(?) so I’ll feed them stolen goods and continue using loads of laundry crap that I don’t need.
The logic of some posters on here is beyond belief!
No wonder the country is in such a state!

Not being able/ willing to afford branded laundry balls is not food poverty 😵‍💫

She doesn’t say she can’t afford to feed her children though, she said things are “tight”. Things are “tight” for me on maternity leave too but I can still afford to buy my baby milk.

That's because the prices rose for the manufacturers so those price increases were passed on to the supermarkets (all of them) and then onto us as consumers. Thefts are not a set amount across the board, ASDA for example may be doing a better job of controlling theft than Tesco, if Tesco increase their prices to try to cover the additional losses from theft they will then lose custom to ASDA.

So if you left your baby’s pram outside for a few minutes, he took it and sold it to someone down the road for far less than it would cost you to get a new one, you’d be ok with that?

I wouldn't buy anything you would eat or drink off him, certainly not baby milk. How do you know it's OK and the real thing?

Do you know he's stealing this stuff or do you just assume he's stealing it? I mean he may well be, but how does he steal so much in bulky items? And you 'believe' he's a drug user (not an addict?), so you don't know that for certain either.

Everyone likes a bargain, but you could actually ask him where he gets it all from, he may buy it at a wholesale warehouse (or end of line running out of date stock) to sell on. It doesn't sound very cheap at £10/week for laundry stuff. Probably still illegal, likely not paying tax or VAT, etc.

I am on cost cutting measures. Bought a big box of washing powder. No softeners or extras. As for stains I soak the stain in a bit of Asda washing up liquid, leave it for 30 minutes and then throw it in the wash as normal. I have been doing this for the last year. To be brutally honest if you're buying pods and softener then that doesn't seem to me to be the signs of someone who is feeling a real pinch.

As for the baby food, there are plenty of examples of products out there that look legit, packaged and stamped, but are far from it eg perfumes and medications, I can't understand why you would even contemplate this.

I used to work in an area that had some rather dodgy types, I inadvertently complained to someone about some youths tormenting me in that area. This man was going to get the local senior hoodlums to put an end to it for me. I politely refused and said it was fine it would pass. If you lie with dogs you will get up with fleas...there is always a quid pro quo.

a tenner a week cheap???? on what planet? oops sorry misread your post

Yes actually, it is!

Do you shoplift then? Would you think it ok for your children to just take what they want? Theft is theft, from a shop or anywhere else and it’s WRONG!

😂😂😂😂😂

Are you actually having a laugh? Your attitude is what causes these social issues.

"Can’t afford to even eat"? But have three children and buy fancy, unnecessary laundry aids?

What the thief is doing with the money has nothing to do with it really.

Your post is incredibly depressing. I hope you are never on a jury. Aren't we meant to teach our children that stealing is wrong? Would the OP be OK with one of her children, when a teenager, burgling a large house "because they’re rich and they can afford it"?

Some things are just right or wrong, and this is plain wrong.