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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU

99 replies

Sandybeaches2222 · 24/06/2024 14:50

What do you think of this situation? Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 6 months and everything is going great until recently, we had a day off coming up together which we rarley ever got due to work, so we planned a day out and as we needed to pick something up from IKEA on the way back we planned it around that, however boyfriend's sister suddenly needed a repair at her flat, but the day the repairman could come, our day off, she had to work and didn't want to rearrange, so she asked my boyfriend if he could go to her's, an hour and a half away from us, and let the repairman in, we decided yes okay we will do her a big favour and cancel most of the plans for the day to help her out and found an IKEA on the way back and chose a restaurant on the way back from her's also to go to, all was good, however boyfriend casually mentioned to her we were both going and she immediately said no, she wanted to be their the first time I visited her house, (I want to add ive met her in person a few times before at family dinners already) and obviously on this occasion wasn't really possible as she was working, so he explained to her if I didn't go we'd have to cancel all our plans we'd made, so she said right okay then she can come then, but then afterwards, despite being a women in her 30s, went straight to calling her dad and complaining to him, his dad was annoyed at boyfriend for disrespecting his sister's wishes and his mum asked to speak to me in person, so I calmly spoke to her and told her I couldn't understand why she would have such a problem with me going when we were doing her a favour and cancelling a day out together, and if we didn't both go we'd have to cancel the entire day, I also said if I ever asked my brother to do me a favour I wouldn't then say, but actually your girlfriend can't come with you, just cancel all your plans, to which his mum responded, 'wow your such an angel arnt you' sarcastically, then said 'I won't have you bully my son into taking you when my daughter doesn't want you there, you've never been to her house before, you can't go until she wants you to go', so she made up that I was bullying him on the spot, when I tried to tell her that wasn't what was happening here she then said ' don't you talk when I'm talking young lady this is my house', then insisted my boyfriend go alone and I go home, so my boyfriend went by himself and I just don't know what to make of this situation that surely shouldn't have been a big deal? AIBU?

OP posts:
bluebeck · 24/06/2024 14:52

Dump him.

Spineless mummy’s boy.

ThatVoodooThatYouDoooo · 24/06/2024 14:53

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LemonCitron · 24/06/2024 14:53

They sound like a nightmare. I can't believe your boyfriend went by himself! He should have stood up for you and refused to go.

KreedKafer · 24/06/2024 14:55

The entire family sounds insane.

Piggiesarecute · 24/06/2024 14:56

bluebeck · 24/06/2024 14:52

Dump him.

Spineless mummy’s boy.

Yep, this.

SooKafatone · 24/06/2024 14:58

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Screamingabdabz · 24/06/2024 14:58

You should’ve carried on with your plans and told his sister to lump it.

Chickenwing2 · 24/06/2024 15:00

Why didn't your boyfriend say "well if my girlfriend can't come then I am unable to do this favour for you."

He does sound spineless, and I would be pissed off with him. Also would be very wary of dating a man with such a weird family.

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 24/06/2024 15:00

What a HIDEOUS family. Dump them all. But shove an Ikea meatball somewhere first.

WaltzingWaters · 24/06/2024 15:06

It would be the end for me for two reasons.
The family sound nuts and horrible. You do not want them as your in-laws. This could of course be overlooked if your bf were happy to stand up for you and realised how ridiculous they’re being, but he didn’t. So I would not want this as my future.

bloodyeffinnora · 24/06/2024 15:09

bluebeck · 24/06/2024 14:52

Dump him.

Spineless mummy’s boy.

I agree

ilikemethewayiam · 24/06/2024 15:09

Could you imagine these IL’s once children are involved! Remove yourself from the lot of them, inc the boyfriend.

jeaux90 · 24/06/2024 15:33

JFC he is spineless, his sister is a dick and the mum is a right piece of work.

Run. It's really not worth it.

BlondeFool · 24/06/2024 16:24

He's a coward and the sister and mum sound like arseholes. Dump him.

dietagain24 · 24/06/2024 16:27

Get the fuck out of this now. It will never change. He should have had the balls to say it’s my way or no way, he didn’t. Speaking from experience, still 18 years in his family are the only source of our arguments.

Roadaheadclear · 24/06/2024 16:29

Think of your future up against that force of nature. Get out while you can.

solosleeper · 24/06/2024 16:29

Twats the lot of them. I can't actually believe he still went after such an embarrassing performance from his sister and mum. I guess he's probably grown up around this batshittery and thinks it's normal.
Remove yourself from the situation. You don't want these nutters as in laws.

Februaryfeels · 24/06/2024 16:30

Dump him. I can't believe he went on his own rather than just tell them you were both doing a favour

mbosnz · 24/06/2024 16:36

Get rid of him and his batshit crazy family.

takealettermsjones · 24/06/2024 16:39

Six months in, and (I'm assuming) in your twenties? Cut and run, before you have kids tying you to this nuttery!

ToxicChristmas · 24/06/2024 16:49

End it. Shitty family + spineless partner = misery. Trust me, as someone who has awful in-laws (but luckily not a spineless husband) you don't want to saddle yourself to that combo.

S00tyandSweep · 24/06/2024 16:55

The fact that the sister wanted the two of you to spend a whole day of your annual leave, driving three hours and waiting in her flat for a repairman is just ridiculous.

I'm all for helping family, but to then dictate you couldn't spend that day together after you agreed to do a massive favour is bat-shit.

This is a snap shot of what your future life would be like if you stuck with him.

Let this one go and find a man, not a boy to date.

FrogNToad · 24/06/2024 16:56

This is all bonkers. There was no need for you to be dragged into the conversation with him and his family. His choices were to cancel all his plans with you or not. Who told you the mother wanted to speak to you? Was it your bf?

The conversation should have gone like this:

Sister: Can you do this favour on my terms only?

BF: No I cannot.

Dad and Mum: Why aren't you doing this favour for your sister.

BF: None of your bloody business.

The end.

Keepingongoing · 24/06/2024 17:17

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Unkind comment

Lurkingandlearning · 24/06/2024 17:31

He shouldn’t have agreed in the first place. If you rarely get a day off together that was like a day’s holiday even if it wasn’t annual leave.

You had plans. His sister needed to rearrange the repair.

Who spends a day off watching someone else’s tap or whatever being repaired?

If it had to be done that day why didn’t his gobby mother go and supervise the workman?

can you tell I’m rather cross on your behalf?