Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU

99 replies

Sandybeaches2222 · 24/06/2024 14:50

What do you think of this situation? Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 6 months and everything is going great until recently, we had a day off coming up together which we rarley ever got due to work, so we planned a day out and as we needed to pick something up from IKEA on the way back we planned it around that, however boyfriend's sister suddenly needed a repair at her flat, but the day the repairman could come, our day off, she had to work and didn't want to rearrange, so she asked my boyfriend if he could go to her's, an hour and a half away from us, and let the repairman in, we decided yes okay we will do her a big favour and cancel most of the plans for the day to help her out and found an IKEA on the way back and chose a restaurant on the way back from her's also to go to, all was good, however boyfriend casually mentioned to her we were both going and she immediately said no, she wanted to be their the first time I visited her house, (I want to add ive met her in person a few times before at family dinners already) and obviously on this occasion wasn't really possible as she was working, so he explained to her if I didn't go we'd have to cancel all our plans we'd made, so she said right okay then she can come then, but then afterwards, despite being a women in her 30s, went straight to calling her dad and complaining to him, his dad was annoyed at boyfriend for disrespecting his sister's wishes and his mum asked to speak to me in person, so I calmly spoke to her and told her I couldn't understand why she would have such a problem with me going when we were doing her a favour and cancelling a day out together, and if we didn't both go we'd have to cancel the entire day, I also said if I ever asked my brother to do me a favour I wouldn't then say, but actually your girlfriend can't come with you, just cancel all your plans, to which his mum responded, 'wow your such an angel arnt you' sarcastically, then said 'I won't have you bully my son into taking you when my daughter doesn't want you there, you've never been to her house before, you can't go until she wants you to go', so she made up that I was bullying him on the spot, when I tried to tell her that wasn't what was happening here she then said ' don't you talk when I'm talking young lady this is my house', then insisted my boyfriend go alone and I go home, so my boyfriend went by himself and I just don't know what to make of this situation that surely shouldn't have been a big deal? AIBU?

OP posts:
Quincy2381 · 27/06/2024 21:46

Run a mile! Don’t look back 👌

hot2trotter · 27/06/2024 21:50

Your boyfriend is a spinless worm who will always choose his despicable family - do yourself a favour and get out now.

TheSerenePinkOrca · 27/06/2024 21:50

He was spineless to agree to cancelling the day out to go to his sisters house.

But to still go once she'd said you couldnt go would be relationship over.

His entirely family sounds fucked up! I'd run a mile!

autienotnaughty · 27/06/2024 22:11

Dump him. His mother and sister are dicks and he did as he was told.

It won't get better.

SeenYourArse · 27/06/2024 22:20

Well unless the drip feed here is that you are in fact both about 16/17 and he lives in his mums house and that’s where you were with him when this conversation took place in person then it’s an utterly mental situation and I’d not speak to him again.

username47985 · 27/06/2024 22:22

God no. End this now. It'll only get worse! Imagine marrying him and having kids with this wet wipe of a man.

Mh67 · 27/06/2024 22:23

I understand that I wouldn't be comfortable with some i barely know having free rain of my house. 6 months is nothing just the beginning of a relationship. I would have met up somewhere afterwards for dinner. But his mum shouldn't have spoken to you like that

Scottsy200 · 27/06/2024 22:29

Get out of this family right away, they all sound completely mental and no good can come of it

TwattyMcFuckFace · 27/06/2024 22:34

she then said ' don't you talk when I'm talking young lady this is my house',

I thought she was on the phone?

ReadingSoManyThreads · 27/06/2024 22:52

It's a blessing that this has happened in the early days of your relationship.

Heed the warnings given here and end things with him. You do not want that kind of family in your life, nor do you want a boyfriend who asks how high every time his family tell him to jump.

Devon23 · 27/06/2024 22:57

Well that blew up quickly why did you end up speaking to his mummy? Run for the hills that's a cult you don't want anything to do with.

DecoratingDiva · 27/06/2024 23:11

Unless it was a really major & urgent repair your boyfriend should have told his sister that he wasn’t available to do her the favour and then when she said you couldn’t be there he should have said he couldn’t be there.

The whole family sound like a nightmare tbh.

I’d seriously consider if you see any future with this boyfriend and the potential MIL from hell.

Dinomum79 · 27/06/2024 23:18

Run!

mezlou84 · 28/06/2024 06:27

Not being unreasonable at all. It is a weird situation and definitely not one you want to be involved in. He should of said he has plans but can rearrange them if absolutely necessary but means you will be coming. It speaks volumes of what the relationship will be like further down the line and I would get out while you can. It sounds like a mil from hell. Why should you guys have to cancel your plans just because she couldn't/wouldn't and then to be accused of being a bully. It's not someone I would want around any future children if you both wanted them. Not good for your future mental health either constantly walking on eggshells.

NoSourDough · 28/06/2024 06:42

How old are you both OP? You haven’t been together long, sadly I have to say this isn’t a nice family and one I doubt you will want a future with. Toxic, controlling ….jealous…this is a warning sign of what’s to come. Might be time to run for the hills as they like to say on MN.

Mnk711 · 28/06/2024 07:17

I really don't understand why people end up in these situations. When she refused for you to go/involved others all he had to say was - OK well apologies in that case I can't let the repairman in as I have plans. All you needed to say to the mum was - please take it up with BF, I'm very happy not to come to her house as per her wishes and stick with our original plans.

Nottherealslimshady · 28/06/2024 07:20

Dump him. He didn't stand up for you at any point.

FlamingoQueen · 28/06/2024 07:23

This is your future! Run a mile now while you still can!
Mil being awful to you, spineless boyfriend who should say that you either both go or no one goes (tbh I would expect him to say no now anyway - his parents can go if they all feel that strongly about it).

Projectme · 28/06/2024 07:30

How old are you both?

Dump.

Just read the relationship threads where women have just ignored these kind of things, married the lad and ended up with family-in-law from hell because he's emotionally enmeshed with them and isn't allowed to say no to mummy. He won't have your back OP.

HideousKinky · 28/06/2024 07:41

It was very generous of you both to abandon your plans to help his sister and all imposing of conditions around that are very unreasonable. The behaviour of the wider family would make me want to walk away from the lot of them

Skodacool · 28/06/2024 07:51

It’s many years ago but part of the reason I ended a relationship was his domineering mother and sisters

DifficultBloodyWoman · 28/06/2024 07:56

Run. Like the wind!

Hankunamatata · 28/06/2024 07:57

BF didn't intervene?

godmum56 · 28/06/2024 08:11

be grateful you found this out now. You have deffo dodged a bullet with this one

gummigwer · 28/06/2024 08:18

1.5hr drive! When she could have just rearranged??

Run away!!

Swipe left for the next trending thread