To think a 2 year age gap is tough?

[Kaylh]

Am I just being weak? My kids are exactly 2 years apart (with a few weeks)

(DD1 is 2.5 and DD2 6mo) and I’m just finding it so tough

I know it won’t feel like a balancing act as they get older

but am I silly for feeling a bit overwhelmed right now

It's a fairly common age gap
It's the gap between my brother and I and nearly everyone I was at school with who had a sibling was the same (to the degree most of our siblings were the same school year)

You're feeling overwhelmed because the terrible 2s are coinciding with a newborn

It's nothing to feel silly about

Its definitely a lot with a small gap like that, you're not being weak at all! My first two are just under 2y apart and it was relentless at first. They're a lot easier now at 3 and 5! I've recently had a third and I can honestly say that it's so much easier with the 3.5yr gap even though there's three of them now. Keep plodding on, it will be better before you know it!

I have a 3 year age gap, they are currently 3 years, and 7 months and it’s TOTAL SHIT.

Hell no! That’s a small gap. That’s hard. There’s a big difference between 2 and 2.5. 2.5-3 seems to be the most common gap in my circle. 2 is still a baby. That’s hard.

It’s really tough, I couldn’t have done it.

My gap is 4.5yrs. Was a total dream when they were younger, much MUCH easier than your 2 years!

Now (9yo and 4yo) however… different story. They’re into different things, don’t even want to watch same thing on tv etc.

so although I totally get that it’s tough now, I think it’ll be easier in the future.

Yeah I think that is hard. Just remember that you’re doing great and everything is just a phase. Mine are 4 and 11 months and I would say that it is an easier age gap as the elder one entertains herself and is helpful with the younger one. I think as your first gets older they will be a little more independent and may be a little easier - but then something else will come along to change it all again 😂

I have 22 months gap, it has its ups and downs. I am 7 nearly 8 years in, life is so much easier with the small gap, had a day out today solo and don't feel I am not entertaining either. I have friends with either bigger gaps or 3 so a bigger gap and days out are hard to please all.

First few years are tough, personally the benefits I have now are worth it.

Keep going, eat chocolate, drink drink of choice, make sure partner helps as much as possible. You will survive.

I had a 2.5 year gap and put my eldest in nursery til my youngest was 6 months old, I couldn't cope alone

It's hard at that age but gets a lot easier. Mine are 6 and 8 now and it's been a walk in the park for a good few years.

It's definitely hard, 3 and 1 nearly killed me (sorry OP).

BUT the youngest is nearly 4 now and they play together, eat the same food, have the same bedtime etc. We can go to the same playground with them both, they watch the same stuff on TV.

Plus, we are DONE with nappies, nap schedules, buggies, weaning, sleepless nights (just about ) etc. I think going back to the baby bit with an older child would have killed me. My parents had their second the month I started school - wtf were they thinking?!

It's been so hard but we're reaping the rewards now and I wouldn't have it any other way.

for you in the meantime (I know you're too exhausted for booze!).

It was really hard. But mine are 2 years apart and get on brilliantly. It will get easier.

feeling very validated thanks ! :)

It does make sense to say it’s easier as they’re older type of age gap and that’s why I felt silly as it is so common, my husband is one of 3 and there’s exactly 2 years between each!

Im on my own a lot with them as DH works away it provides for us so I’m of course grateful but I just feel constantly out numbered

and our eldest is highly sensitive so along with being 2 and a half and hitting peak tantrum age really she tantrums over so much everything feels like a battle getting dressed , nappy change (not fully potty trained) teeth brushing etc

my youngest had a bit of colic that’s luckily passed but my poor DD1 was subject to her crying a lot she cried unless held for a bit and didn’t even like a sling. So I’ve been worried it’s stressed DD1 out a lot hence tantrums etc :(
:/

You do 'hard yards' with the different age groups, you're doing yours now, but you'll get a break when others are struggling!

chill out & try to enjoy them - the days are long, but the years are short x

Yes and harder again when you've got one doing GCSEs and the other doing Alevels!

2 year gap is not ideal (we did it too)!

😂try twins, a two year old and a four year old. 😂 in lockdown 🤪
it maybe hard but there’s always someone who’s got it harder.

I know someone who had quintuplets. Put my feelings of overwhelm into perspective.

It's really really tough, I underestimated just HOW tough. There's 23 months between mine, 3yrs and 1yr old currently.

You're in the thick of it now, things didn't improve for me until the youngest turned one

The baby stage again with a toddler in tow is really difficult

I have this gap and it’s bloody hard even without the partner working away (I remember a horrible sinking feeling every time my partner got asked to travel when mine were that age - even though I knew he didn’t have much choice).

I now have a 2yo and a 4yo and every day feels a bit easier. They love each other and play well together. They enjoy the same days out, Tv etc. There are still fraught moments especially with the younger one who is still very much an unpredictable and tantrummy toddler - but I imagine what it’ll be like when they are 4 and 6 and it seems like a really good decision. Hang in there for now!

I have a 2yr gap. Definitely gets easier as they get older. I'm at the GCSE and A level stage which is a bit of a tough one.

20 months gap here and I guess it was full on for the first few years but not especially arduous. I had a set bedtime routine from day one and that helped. I had two kids who went down well after the first couple months. I also kept the older one in all day nursery three days a week even after I gave up work. It is a balancing act. Even more so when my husband passed easy suddenly.
Ask for help if you need it. Even a cleaner every other week might ease the stress.

It's worse when the little one gets mobile but can't keep up with the big one 😫

It is hard at first, and you have to just drag the baby along with you because the eldest doesn't understand that sometimes they have to wait or whatever. But as pp say it does get easier and you will be glad you've done it. You're in the trenches now though 😉

I had 15 months between mine (unplanned) and it nearly broke me. They were both 'good' babies / toddlers but just the usual sleepless nights, teething, nappies, crying, bickering was so so tough, just relentless. Then add in going back to work when the youngest was 6 months. I mean of course i loved them to bits but it was hard. Good news though it gets easier as time passes and once they started school life changed massively. They are now 20 & 21 and just the best young adults.

Can largely depend what kind of baby you get. My 7 month old has always had reflux, doesn’t let me sleep and won’t get off me during the day, not even for naps. My 3 year old then can’t get the attention he deserves from me and is a hitter (me not the baby). So it feels like a massive miserable failure on all accounts.

I have a 2 year gap too, hardest time of my life having a baby and toddler!! I definitely agree the hard work now with the small age gap will pay off in the future. We LOvE having a small gap, they are both into the same things and can play together. If we had a bigger gap (I appreciate not everyone can chose the gap size and it depends on many things) then it would have been so much easier at the beginning but I think harder later on.

Also, some people will say it’s not difficult and have a small gap, but have their second in Nursery or with grandparents several times a week so they have plenty of time with just the newborn. Having both full time with few breaks is seriously hard going, mentally and physically and you often feel like either one child or the other isn’t getting what they need from you as you’re pulled in difficult directions. It can also be very lonely as I found taking both out between naps and feeds etc was difficult and stressful

I have this age gap and it’s HARD!!! God you couldn’t pay me to go back to the newborn/ toddler stage.
However they’re now 2 and 4 and it is getting much easier- they’re little mates and potter round together. They’re starting to argue though, so ask me again in 6 months!!! I wouldn’t change the age gap though, I’m glad the baby stage is basically over and my girls are really good mates.