To think a 2 year age gap is tough?

[Kaylh]

Am I just being weak? My kids are exactly 2 years apart (with a few weeks)

(DD1 is 2.5 and DD2 6mo) and I’m just finding it so tough

I know it won’t feel like a balancing act as they get older

but am I silly for feeling a bit overwhelmed right now

I made this thread quite upset after a tough day and I have had such a positive day today after reading all of your messages. It sounds silly but to not feel as alone, to know in a year or two time when we go to the park it isn’t with an overtired baby crying in the pram and a moody toddler because I I have to stop and tend to the baby - is a bit of a hug!

Tough now but will eventually get easier (easier not easy! Haha I know parenting will never be easy but so worth it❤️)

your stories about your kids make me smile I can’t wait to see their bond form

i really needed this thread I think

Hi no they argue and physical fight every day. So mean to each other . Obviously this is unusual for most.

21mths between my two DS’, two under two is very hard work. But no regrets, in certain aspects it’s easier, they like going to the same places, toys, tv shows etc. I didn’t need to get to older child to school in the mornings etc. but two in nappies is expensive, and of course very tiring. My two are adults now, they are total opposites in personality, best friends as well as brothers.

2 years between mine and I do not remember the first 2 years with baby and toddler, blocked it out, it was really hard.
But then it is so much easier than a big gap - they have the same interest, both happy to go to same places and events. They share toys, they share friends. And they are now good friends - older one is not a babysitter. It gets a lot easier.

It’s hard when they are little, but overall it an “easier” gap than most. Apart from when one is doing GCSEs and the other is doing A Levels. Stress central!

I'm so glad it's not just me. Just turned three and almost six months here and it's horrendous. We had the easiest two year old ever and literally on her third birthday it seems she turned into a little terror! The sleep deprivation is actually killing me I swear it.

I have 2.5 years between DC1 and DC2, although DC1 is autistic so wasn't developmentally at the right age. Then 17 months between DC2 and DC3. Just under 4 years between DC1 and DC3. The smaller age gap has been much much harder, but my DC2 is also incredibly challenging behaviour wise so it might be that. I love the 4 year gap when they are little but I could see as they get older that would get harder when they are into totally different things. I think swings and roundabouts to all the age gaps but yes small gaps are full on, draining etc when they are little for sure.

25 months between mine and it was horrific. I'm not sure how we managed. My eldest didn't sleep well at all and was a difficult toddler for lots of reasons. Thankfully the youngest slept most of the time but ir does quickly passed. When my eldest turned 3 amd started pre school that made a big difference to us.

25months between mine. It was tricky and hard word til they were about 5 and 3 and then things vastly improved. Now 11 and 9 and it's a really nice gap. They get on well and like similar things. So hang on in there, it evens out!

Thanks so much for the update OP! And for posting this thread, hopefully it will provide support and reassurance to other parents in the same situation. It really is amazing when mumsnet can help others in such a positive way.

I spent this morning at a cafe with my youngest, due to go to school in September. Trying to hold back tears as she chatted away, sitting there, enjoying time with mummy. I’ve started to experience an unexpected sadness that the baby / preschool years are over. It’s like a very early empty nest syndrome and it’s making me sad when I thought I’d be so happy to have time on my own when they are both at school! (SAHM so been home a long time). As someone else has said I actually don’t remember much of those first couple of years after my second was born (just over 2 year gap). It was an exhausting blur and I was a frazzled mess holding it together in the middle of lockdown and a house move. (I def recommend taking lots of videos of them, we love looking back and seeing little versions of what they are like now).

I now don’t really recognise that version of myself now, life is so much easier. The children play in the park and I can sit on a bench and watch! We can go out without worrying about naps! It’s the strangest feeling and liberating but I miss them being little so much already. I’m even thinking about a 3rd but think that’s my hormones talking. Also what I really want is smaller versions of my own again rather than a new addition! Also I know deep down a baby / toddler again would prob break me but there’s always that wondering of what if!

18 months between mine - I knew if i left it any longer I wouldn't have a 2nd and as an only child I really wanted 2. Was it hard... YES!! Did it nearly break my marriage ... YES... my husband wasn't particularly helpful and worked long hours and that made me hate him!!!! However... once they got about maybe 8 I reaped the benefits, they liked the same things, were buddies in holidays clubs and now as young adults whilst i know they might wind each other up they totally have each others backs and the 4 of us have the best time together.

I have a 4 year old, 2 year old and a newborn. It is tough, absolutely. But fortunately for me I love chaos so I wouldn't have it any other way