Is it rude not to acknowledge dog?

[buma]

My SIL has a dog. Nice natured but quite big and powerful (not a dangerous breed).

As soon as you go over, he will bound at you and try and jump at you. He's knocked the kids over before and I think could probably knock me over too.

I'm not a dog person, never had one, don't understand the bond etc. I've also got no interest in being jumped on, so I just ignore the dog and don't acknowledge it at all. Might give it a stroke if it sits next to me later on.

MIL has started to make comments when we meet up and I don't give the dog any fuss.

Do you think it's rude of me not to acknowledge? It's basically their baby as they have no kids so perhaps I am being rude? Im worried if I start to give him lots of attention, he will get excited when he sees me and launch himself at me.

Rude? 😂
Acknowledging dog is a choice, as long as the animal doesn't get startled by you.
🙈🐕

so non dog people have to learn all about dog behaviour because the actual owner cannot be arsed to train it.

In a nutshell if the dog has something in its mouth (ball, toy, stick etc) it will probably be ok. If the owner is calm & relaxed the dog is likely to be to. If there are small kids in a group the dog is more likely to be ok as the owners probably have trained it.

dog not happy when it stares at you, heckles go up and growls. Hysterical owner shouting dog is just being friendly also a 🚩. Never have food on you near a dog either - whole new set of rules.

Not only would I ignore the dog, I'd ask that he or she be crated for my visit.

This dog is going to make your children nervous around dogs.

I wouldn't want to go in the dog's home more than once if it's owner didn’t make sure the bloody thing behaved.

If the dog's owner thinks they're doing me some kind of favour by letting me in their home to be harassed by their wretched animal, they've made a sad mistake.

That sort of attitude just gives the dog notions.

Every dog is a potentially dangerous breed.

Well trained (and thus secure) dogs do not jump at visitors.

There is no valid comparison between a dog and a child.

A dog's interaction with people should always be on the people's terms, not the dog's.

Dogs are not human and their needs differ from ours. In particular they need to feel the security of having a leader, namely their owner, so establishing who is in charge via obedience training and consistent setting of norms of behaviour makes them feel secure. Dog owners who let their dogs get away with unacceptable behaviour are not respecting the nature of their pets.

I'm sure they won't be arsed if you visit or not then.

You are doing the right thing with a jumpy dog. Mine barks at people when they come to the house and I tell them to just ignore her and when she calms down you can say hello. She calms down much quicker this way, otherwise she would just keep on barking. You aren't completely ignoring the dog either as you pat it when it comes and sits next to you.

Well, that’s what people are thinking if you don’t teach your dog to behave around visitors.

Speak for yourself.

I only visit homes to which I have been invited. Fortunately, almost all dog owners are more considerate than you.

I have a cat. If visitors don’t acknowledge her in her own home they go down hugely in my estimation. I don’t expect anything more than Hello and maybe letting her sniff your hand if she comes over but to actually ignore her innocent trust is just rude and shows me a visitor is not someone I want to visit again.
The issue of a dog jumping up is separate to whether you should in general be polite enough to acknowledge an animal. If you are frightened/ uncomfortable with dogs then discuss this before visiting. Most dogs just want to be friendly and over enthusiasm in this is hardly the worst behaviour but if it is too much for you raise the matter before visiting again.
Whilst not everybody likes animals it is common manners to respect your host’s home and family and whether you agree or not pet animals are family to the better owners.
I don’t really like babies and toddlers but if I visited somebody with a child wanting to say hello (or even if they didn’t) I would never be so rude as to ignore them.

I have a cat. If visitors don’t acknowledge her in her own home they go down hugely in my estimation. I don’t expect anything more than Hello and maybe letting her sniff your hand if she comes over but to actually ignore her innocent trust is just rude and shows me a visitor is not someone I want to visit again.

I'm allergic to cats.
Your attitude reminds me of some dickhead bloke I met back in the 90s as a young teenager.
He snorted and refused to move his precious cat from the room despite me visibly being uncomfortable. Didn't believe I was uncomfortable or allergic.
Just "appreciate my cat!"
I spent over an hour on the doorstep and he didn't give.a shit.
Point is nobody has to love your balls of fur, why expect everyone to just handshake it or sniff your hand, fuck that

My son has a dog phobia because some relatives let their huge dogs gallop at us the first time we visited… my son was only one and was terrified. I had him in my arms and they jumped up all over me. Dog owners can be SO clueless about their “babies”. Not all of them but many of them.

Now my son is phobic, we get a lot of dogs coming close to us - parks, cafes, on the pavement - and the owners without fail shout ‘she/he’s friendly don’t worry!!’ - but that doesn’t really help with a phobia does it. Maybe just control your dog a bit better?!

It's personal preference though, when I had a cat I preferred non-cat people to ignore him. Why would I want him to have contact with someone who doesn't like him. Yes I was overly protective

Great analogy

I have a cat. If visitors don’t acknowledge her in her own home they go down hugely in my estimation.

I'm sure they must be devastated.

It’s actually great, isn’t it, that there is such an easy way of weeding people out?

I love dogs and cats and have always had them, but the idea of having to fawn over someone’s “fur baby” and be forced to say hello to it or I won’t be welcome … well, it makes me quite nauseous TBH.

So fantastic to know I wouldn’t be wanted as a friend to someone who would behave that way.

YANBU. I have a dog and if he dared jump up you I would ask you to turn your back and ignore him until he has calmed down. Rewarding bad behaviour with attention is why it is jumping in the first place.

No. People hating and harming animals! THAT is the mark of a psychopath!

They need to teach their dog to greet everyone calmly. They also need to realise that their gentle soft Shetland pony of a dog is still a big frightening pile of muscle when it's excited. And not everyone likes to be jumped all over by a hyper dog!
Ignoring it is fine, it gives the dog the message that it's not going to get attention for being hyper. Once the dog is calm, it can come for a clap and some fuss from you.

It’s rude of the owners to allow their dog to do it!! I have two small dogs who burst with excitement when they see anyone. I put them on their bed tell them to stay if they get off they go in another room so my visitors are not jumped all over. Common decency isn’t it?! That said my best friend is not a dog person but she loves my two and they love her 🥰 if she didn’t bother with them I wouldn’t be upset about it

So now people need to be guilted over a dog? Tell your Mil to calm down and stop this nonsense.

Yes, if the dog has presented it's business card on a silver salver and you just ignore it, then you are being rude.
If it starts jumping up and trying to lick your face, then the dog is rude.
(Based of Barbara Woodhouse's edition of Debrett's.)

@RedYellowPinkGreenPurpleOrangeBlue indeed, thank you.

@MasterBeth such a ridiculous comment 🙄