Condescending phrases (lighthearted)

[FrenchFries2024]

I know these phrases are often meant in a friendly way and I am being pedantic here but AIBU to find these phrases condescending and low-grade irritating? 🙈🙈 (I suppose it is just a social interaction and I shouldn’t overthink it.)

• ’hello/ hi there!’ (Neighbour - please just say my name - I am not called ‘there’!
• …and ‘how are we today?’ - I want to say, ‘well, I can’t answer for you but I am very well, thanks’.

i know, not a big thing at all in the grand scheme of things but I find it condescending probably because I don’t really like the woman much. (She acts superior). If someone nice said it, I s’pose I wouldn’t mind.

Any other things people say you find annoying?? Do you remark on it to them? How can one do that without sounding a bit of a dick yourself? 🤣🤣

This is breathtakingly bad customer ‘service’ @Somepeoplearesnippy i love the way you responded. Hopefully, he learnt a lesson there but perhaps unlikely.

I find it hugely patronising and condescending when someone marks their Mumsnet post as "light-hearted".

Yeah, I'll be the judge of that, thanks...

@MasterBeth fair point.

I'll raise you 'Good morning, Colleagues'.

Mate, this isn't fucking ASDA.

Pisses me off every Monday morning.

How can I help you? A friend when answering the phone. Every every time. Comes over as fuck off I'm busy. They're not and are a lovely person.

Keeping busy are you? Only arrived in my life after my DH died. Sod Off. No, I'm just having an ordinary life and don't need to fill the gaping void with shite while my heart is broken which by the way you never ask about

A friend who had this after a relationship ended was similarly hacked off by it. She took a punt and asked me was I on the receiving end too.

Don't be silly. To be fair I only encounter this on The Archers, where it is universal. So rude.

Not being quite light-hearted, but don't see the funny side of condescension.

And breathe

But equally, if people start such a thread and don't mark it as 'light-hearted', they get told off too!

It's a bit like the MN lore that male posters who don't identify themselves as such are deceitful pervs; but if they do, they're being mainsplainy, acting superior and seeking attention!

While I find this a bit cringey, I think it primarily notes the OPs intent, of which she is the judge.

Whether threads so marked play out that way is another matter!

With due respect.

I agree. I like the lighthearted threads, but they never end up that way most of the time. An OP had one that was "show me pictures of your normal kitchen" or something close to that. It was quite nice seeing everyones pictures then come the posters "Oh well now you've done it. You'll immediately be robbed and murdered because now people know what your kitchen looks like and can track you down you fools"

I hate that every one says ‘honestly’ on MN now. ‘Honestly, it’s not that hard’, ‘Honestly, you’re being unhelpful, ‘Honestly be kind’.

I wish all the honestlys would piss off.

There's a newish one that absolutely sounds so insincere and condescending no matter who says it. You say something mildy pleasing that has happened to you:

'Yay! Love that for you'.

I don't know why but it makes me feel so patronised. Maybe because it's usually said to me by colleagues younger than me. Along with 'You're smashing it'.

Oh piss off.

Well done you!
Well done that woman! (me)
or
head tilted to one side - ‘you’re really quite intelligent aren’t you’
obviously this said by someone who doesn’t know me well ha ha

years ago, a professional pick up and deliver ironing lady,
when I asked her not to fold a circular tablecloth into a triangle,
said,
“you’re very fussy for someone who lives in a flat”
the week before she had admired my hall lamp, saying
“you have surprisingly good taste for someone who lives in a council flat”

now that is condescending! patronising and as it transpired,
professionally suicidal

Also patronising is if a man tells you that you have a good sense of humour,
or worse, a good personality, usually because he feels a deficit elsewhere,
when he should really keep his comments to himself, pay for the drink, end
the encounter politely, sigh