Condescending phrases (lighthearted)

[FrenchFries2024]

I know these phrases are often meant in a friendly way and I am being pedantic here but AIBU to find these phrases condescending and low-grade irritating? 🙈🙈 (I suppose it is just a social interaction and I shouldn’t overthink it.)

• ’hello/ hi there!’ (Neighbour - please just say my name - I am not called ‘there’!
• …and ‘how are we today?’ - I want to say, ‘well, I can’t answer for you but I am very well, thanks’.

i know, not a big thing at all in the grand scheme of things but I find it condescending probably because I don’t really like the woman much. (She acts superior). If someone nice said it, I s’pose I wouldn’t mind.

Any other things people say you find annoying?? Do you remark on it to them? How can one do that without sounding a bit of a dick yourself? 🤣🤣

You should take them at face value and tell them everything that you've done since last seeing them - like this bloke! Make sure you lock the door first, so they can't escape, and callously ignore their gnashing and begging for mercy

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Shields_(diarist)

I always wonder where the other three emojis are - for the 'M', the 'C' and the 'A'.

People who use Polite Reminder are, in my experience, anything but.

It's a reminder/chasing email. As long as they're not calling me a bone idle prick, I'm fine with an email subject of something like 'Meeting Tuesday 15th July - Documents Needed by 8th May at 3pm'.

Just get to the bloody point.

Brilliant!

When the phone rings and some random asks ‘How are you today’ instead of getting on with the point of the phone call. He or she doesn’t care at all how I am and it’s just time wasting. Are we supposed to have a back and forth about how well or otherwise, we are?

‘how are we today?’ I'd agree is an odd turn of phrase which might sound a bit condescending.

But I can't for the life of me think why anyone would be irritated by 'hello there' or 'hi there'. It's generally used when you're at a bit of a distance or if you're mildly surprised to see the person you're greeting.

Yeh, like you’d know where to start and as if they’d want to listen

The app my Pilates instructor uses sends several 'gentle reminders' of each upcoming class. Apart from the excessive number (maybe I can reduce notifications) I've no idea why this reminder needs to be 'gentle', it's not like it's in any way an unpleasant event.

I'm really short and apparently this is an invite to many people, to treat me in a condescending manner.
I have been patted on the head like I'm.a bloody dog!!

I knew someone who you never asked how she was-because she'd tell you in excruciating detail!

School sent a "gentle reminder" about an event the other day

Occassionally I've had gentle reminders which are actually code for "you haven't paid for the school trip/ipad/other materials by the required date" which is a more polite way of saying hurry up and pay.

But the latest one was a "reminder" about info we'd not yet seen and required no immediate action! (Timings for an event in 3 weeks)

When someone asks you to do something that is going to cause you a fair bit of inconvenience, and what's more, they know it is, and they start the conversation with "oh, sorry to be a pain" and then when they've got what they want, they usually say "oh, your such a star!" This is usually accompanied by a slight tilt of the head and the tinkly patronising giggle.

cakewitch that's not patronising, that's grovelling

Yes, I know somebody exactly like this. I had to hand something very straightforward to her briefly the other day and I ended up 'getting Mavised' for half an hour

'Fizbosshoes · Today 10:12
I'm really short and apparently this is an invite to many people, to treat me in a condescending manner.
I have been patted on the head like I'm.a bloody dog!!'

Ah, Bless! Legs it in never been trained in trainers

I get the 'Hi there'
For me that is up there with 'You people'

I used to work part time as a midwife and people quite often said, oh good to keep your hand in!’

Firstly, it was bloody hard work and I was spinning a lot of plates, it wasn’t a hobby.

Secondly, it’s kind of an inappropriate thing to say to a midwife 🤣

OP, you may find the person you are referring to condescending, but none of the examples you gave in your OP are particularly so on their own.

I find "You lot" condescending when it's used to judge a group of people, as if the one addressing the group is somehow superior.

It is what it is...

I hate the response "fair enough" or "fair play" as it seems dismissive and code for "not what I would do, but whatever".

You guys - when addressing a group made up partially/solely of females.

'You Guys' just like 'You people'
It is a separation of speaker from the lower echelon.

hello/ hi there!’ (Neighbour - please just say my name - I am not called ‘there’!

I agree OP. Drives me nuts when you speak to neighbours and work colleagues who never address you by your name. Don't get me wrong, I find over-familiarity equally wrong but it's just so odd when some people completely avoid using your name even though they should know it, comes across as really ignorant.

I recently was given some unwanted and unsolicited financial advice in a High St bank. Luckily, as an ex IFA I knew the advice was absolute crap and complained.

A few days later the manager called me up. He blustered and made excuses and called me "sweetheart. He was sounded considerably younger than my son and I was horrified at how patronising he was.

When he eventually paused for breath I said (very politely) that he was wasting his breath. That it would be a cold day in hell before I ever set foot in his branch again, that I was closing my accounts and my dependent parents's accounts and that he shouldn't assume that a middle aged woman was a sweetheart. I also asked him to thank the customer advisor who had realised how badly I had been treated, advised me to raise a complaint and actually used the word "sorry'. I suggested he should use that word in future if he wants to retain customers.

It’s also due to the fact that we have been next door neighbours for 14 years now and I call her by her name. But this thread has made me realise has really helped me to put it in perspective as some of the phrases PPs have as examples are really patronising. Thank you, everyone.