Condescending phrases (lighthearted)

[FrenchFries2024]

I know these phrases are often meant in a friendly way and I am being pedantic here but AIBU to find these phrases condescending and low-grade irritating? 🙈🙈 (I suppose it is just a social interaction and I shouldn’t overthink it.)

• ’hello/ hi there!’ (Neighbour - please just say my name - I am not called ‘there’!
• …and ‘how are we today?’ - I want to say, ‘well, I can’t answer for you but I am very well, thanks’.

i know, not a big thing at all in the grand scheme of things but I find it condescending probably because I don’t really like the woman much. (She acts superior). If someone nice said it, I s’pose I wouldn’t mind.

Any other things people say you find annoying?? Do you remark on it to them? How can one do that without sounding a bit of a dick yourself? 🤣🤣

OP, here as in other towns, the usual greeting from under 40’s I would say, whether in a professional, store, casual setting is ‘r u ok there?’ or ‘r u alright’ occasionally shortened to ‘alright’ - similar to the French informal ‘ca va?’ - drives us nuts - we much prefer the ‘good morning Mrs Oxon, how are you today.’ - even better if they raise their hat and bow slightly at the same time!

Smile it may never happen - could elicit the response ‘thats whats making me gloomy!’

And triggering, don't forget that🤣

45? Oh dear. Plumbs are coming for you...

🤣🤣
i think this may very well be my issue. I expect undue deference as if I am a lady in a Jane Austen novel or something. 🙈
(Perhaps having been an English Literature lecturer for over 20 years now perhaps means I am more fit for 18th/19th century than 21st.)🤷🏻‍♀️

Or ‘Bless!’, which makes me want to throw things.

Usually said by 'trainers' young enough to be my highly experienced team's grandchild:
'Let's have some blue sky thinking. Let's brainstorm this' 'Yeah!'

Let's not. Let's have a coffee and discuss some ideas.

I’ve been an Eng Lit lecturer for 25 years, and have taught a lot of Austen, but don’t expect ‘deference!’

'Aww, you're so sweet' directed at me or 'Aww, she's so lovely!' about me.

No, I'm not. I'm a fucking twat. I just can't be arsed to be a dick to people if they aren't actively being a dick towards me - and even then, it still depends on whether I can be bothered.

NeverDropYourMooncup,

I know what you mean - I don't call out the 'Ah Bless-ers', but it's because I think it is coming from a kind thought. Still want to slap them, though.

Tagging a no onto the end of a sentence to turn it into a question. It comes across as so condescending e.g. Marriage before children is always better, no? There is an implication that you are an ignorant fool if you don’t agree with the person. One of my friends does it all the time, usually when she is moralising about something, and it instantly makes me want to disagree with her.

Wonderful!

It’s hardly condescending is it. It’s irritating

I used to work with someone who would preface every email, note , any communication with “ polite reminder:”
No, this didn’t make me think of course I’ll do this as you’ve asked so nicely, it make me want to staple her to a wall with my teeth gritted.

If you say it in a certain way, it is definitely condescending. It sounds like someone speaking down to the staff. If you say it in a cheery enthusiastic way, it isn’t.

“Hello there” is fine for the memory deficient among us but “you do you” “you go girl” Are annoying. Utterly trite and enraging (to me) are the phrases “living her best life” “authentic self” “bring whole self to work” and worst of all “lived experience”. WTF kind of other experience is there?

I HATE ‘you do you’, along with ‘give your head a wobble’. Makes me feel quite violent 😆

This also drives me mad and I've never been able to articulate why but you're spot on

😆

I bloody hate being asked “ so what have you been up to?” By anyone I haven’t seen in a while.

I do say 'hi there' I think when I'm on the phone to someone I don't know.

I can't bear this emoji at the end of a message:

🤷‍♀️

Usually when someone is trying to gently correct you.

I hate that emoji too

Yes! similar to ‘I’m not being funny love, but … when some banality then ensues,
offered as wisdom. ‘No mate, you are not being funny at all : condescending, mansplaining, not funny’ ( the last sentence kept in my head only)

You're soooo brave!

I hate it when people repeatedly say my name when they're talking to me - I find it so patronising.

Say it once at the beginning of the conversation, to catch my attention, or when necessary if there's a group of people contributing to the discussion; but when it's just the two of us conversing together, I think we've established who is talking to whom without any need for incessant use of either person's name.

Those two phrases wouldn't bother me. These ones do, all from my mil:

You do it like that do you? how interesting

Don't do it like that, do it like this (my way works better for me actually)

I've told you so many times, there's no point in worrying (when my child is having an operation I'm going to worry)