to wonder if a high ponytail sends a message I'm unaware of?

[AuntieWithAttitude]

I was watching a friend's kid after school and told her about a summer camp where I used to work. We often helped the kids put their hair in 'camper buns'—a messy bun right on top of their heads. She asked me to do it for her, but didn't like it, so we ended up with a super high ponytail instead. She loved it and had fun swishing it around.

When her mum saw it, she commented on how high it was and then lowered it.
I didn't really think too much of it, until today on TV a character wore a high ponytail, and other characters remarked on how high it was, saying things like 'erm, are you sure you want to wear your hair like that?'.

Am I missing something about the significance of high ponytails? I can be bad at this stuff, subtle cues and such, I'm wondering if I've caused offence to my friend somehow. She seemed really weird about it. Don't want to make the same mistake again if I've misunderstood the significance of something.

I'm happy to know that this pisses you off. Long may that continue. I loath pretentious wankers who judge people for nothing relevant at all...

<swishes ponytail that's' just gone higher because I can...>

I had no idea about any of this, although the news that there's yet another way to judge women by the minutiae of their appearance is never going to be a shock.

I'm entertained by the idea that stupid people will believe I'm chopping and changing between classes, income brackets and backgrounds multiple times a day for no reason other than how I've most recently tied up my hair 😁

Did your hair fall out or something @ItsVeryHyacinthBucket ? You sound awfully bitter.

Yeah the cap-hole level ponytail is not the one at issue.

How on earth can you swish a ponytail in a provocative way? Do horses do it for you or something? <- queasy, not envy.

Are people really so dim and shallow as to find some sort of 'code' in something as innocuous as hairstyles and use it to heap more judgement on women? Always on women, by women... 'sisterhood', yay! No wonder the patriarchy are laughing at us as a sex. Pathetic.

The fact that the OP first post references a child's hairstyle makes me wonder at the calibre of posters on the thread happily denigrating this hairstyle. Utter creeps.

Do NOT wear your cap back to front - LOL

you're a grade A weirdo.

I don’t know about signals from pony tails on top of the head, but the topic brings back memories of the “Peru two” as one of them favoured a top of head bun which was quite a look.

I was never allowed a high (top of head) pony tail when I was young. My mum deemed it ‘common’

Except for the time I won tickets to a NKOTB concert and she did me the highest pony ever as a treat 😄

Hoping I'm not sending signals with my hair.. often wear mine in a high ponytail so it's out the way!

I wouldn't worry, it only sends out a bat signal to the thick-witted...

The rest wouldn't give it a thought.

What a weird way to live. I don’t have the energy to be so judgmental, personally!

And what is wrong with giant hoops?

I often wear my hair in a high bun or ponytail and I have a weak spot for giant gold hoops

I have absolutely no fear of looking "common" as I am not British born but an immigrant...and therefore exempt from your class system

Kim Wexler's ponytail (as worn by Rhea Seehorn in Better Call Saul) was a great ponytail, high and elegant. So much for the snobs!
Agree with your second paragraph too.

It wasn’t a high one though. It was still back of head.

Misogny✔️
Classism ✔️
Ageism ✔️

The photo choices above are interesting, I feel we are on the verge of racism too..

How so? Ashley Graham is white.* I am half black. Look, the OP asked a question, asking people to explain why this other mother wouldn't want her daughter's hair in a high pony, and some posters explained. We can't help the fact that some of you don't like that explanation. Of course, we might be wrong and the other mother just thinks that the high pony is bad for hair (which it is!) However, chances are that it is for class reasons. That is the way of the world.

*This reminds me of when people accuse people of racism who don't like the Kardashians, when in fact if anyone is racist it is the Kardashians for their constant blackfishing.

MN seems to be full of the terminally dim these days.

Excuse me, who are you to speak for 'most people on this site'? I'm not a fan of the look you describe myself, but I'd rather be 'common' than snobby.

I’m not from UK originally so don’t have the same cultural experience about ponytails. However when she was younger my DD used to like a ponytail to be in certain place otherwise it was tickling her neck.
Also it could be that your friend thought that its inappropriate for you to do her DD’s hair. I’m not saying she was right but some people don’t like it ( e.g me)

I associate it with Chavs wearing sports wear

Only read the first and last page but has anyone mentioned the fact that Ariana Grande made high ponytails cool/ non-chav look a while back.

What? I'm obviously not most people on this site. Don't speak for me please.

I'd associate your comment with being a bit of a twat.