Boyfriend wants to move in

[Fantafruit]

I'm looking for some advice please. I was going to post in the property section but I thought there might be more traffic here.

I currently live on my own and bought my 2 bed house when I was 24 (now 28) with some savings and a gifted deposit from my dad.
The mortgage is solely in my name and I've also spent money on the house over the years (new kitchen & bathroom).

I met my partner around 15 months ago and we've officially been together just over a year. He's currently renting a 2 bed flat but has asked me if I want to move in together soon. I want to but no idea how it works when one person already has a mortgage. I did think about selling mine and buying somewhere together but I don't think he's in a position to at the moment as he doesn't have much savings (his rent is quite high). I also love my house and would be sad to leave.

My dad has told me, under no circumstances, to put him on the mortgage. I know I can do what I want as it's my house but my dad is just trying to protect me, and obviously I want to protect myself (even though I do love my partner and want to live with him). I just have no idea how to go about it or protect myself. Financially I'm in a good position, a good job, some savings. I just want to be careful.
Should I speak with a solicitor?

If anyone can advise or point me in the right direction, I'd really appreciate it. Thank you

Speak to a solicitor. And I agree with your dad, do not put him on the mortgage unless he buys in by 50% .
Remember, if he owns any of the house it’s difficult to get him out if necessary

Go to a family solicitor and ask them to draw up a cohabitation agreement. Not complicated and it will protect you during the period you live together.

You are going to get a bunch of people comign on and telling you that you should not put him on the mortgage and not even charge him rent because then he'll have a hold on your house. Instead, you should just charge him no more than half the bills.

This is complete bollocks.

Your dad, of course, is right - this is YOUR house and you should protect it. But ideally, when you move intogether, you should both be benefiting financially (and in other ways). So he'd pay less overall, and you'll pay less overall, and that saving should be split (either in absolute terms or in proportional terms).

Agree together what seems like an appropriate amount based on your respective earnings and costs. Then see a solicitor to ensure that this is in writing so that he does not have any kind of hold over your house because he's been contributing to the mortgage.

Very sensible advice here.

Move into his flat & rent yours out?

I agree with your dad. Don't put him in the mortgage right off the bat.

Do you see yourself married to him op ?
im married 15 years but I was in the same boat and lived alone until I married for this reason

to protect myself and my home and my husband moved in with me initially after marrying and we bought a joint home together a few years later

Also, as you're both young, ideally, the savings he'll be making he should be using ot perhaps save towards a property or to buy his own property that he perhaps rents out. Your savings could be used to pay off your mortgage more quickly.

What you also want to avoid is a situation where one of you starts saving rapidly and the other one uses the savings to party hard. Because as a result, longer term, there could be a lot of resentment when you are married and wnat to buy a new, bigger house together and the contribution is in no way equal.

DC owns a flat and their partner moved in after two years together.
Partner pays for all food/household shops and half the bills but nothing towards the property itself. It generally balances out as equal across the month without the partner having any hold over the property.

Going forward, it is highly likely that they will marry and move into a joint property, but this suits them both for now and seems fair.

Don't put him on the mortgage just now. How about you split bills 50/50 and he pays a bit of rent each month in addition? What does your boyfriend say? I don't think he would be expecting to live with you for free, or to take on mortgage responsibilities at this point.

He could be your Lodger. He pays less in rent, but 1/2 utilities and food, he has no claim then on your property

I'd go this route until your relationship changes to marriage. Then I'd protect my investment via a solicitor or you could sell your home and buy jointly (he'll have saved for his share of deposit by lodging with you won't he)

I moved into my boyfriend’s house (from a rented property) when we got together. He worked out a proportionate split of the mortgage and bills, and I paid my portion into his bank account every month as rent. Effectively I was his tenant, so technically I was still renting. But as I was paying my boyfriend way, way less than it was costing me to rent and pay bills my own place and I was able to use the money saved to pay off debts and then start to put money away for myself. Financially it made sense for both of us.

Cohabitation agreement stating no equity in house. Mortgage provider might need statement saying no equity either. Reasonable rent and half of bills including share of council tax. Do you want him to move in?

Your dad is right to say be cautious.

I'd get legal advice.

Does your boyfriend have any savings? If he's known you less than two years, has HE been saving for a house deposit of his own one day?? Or just assuming he can hop onto someone else's house/mortgage when he meets someone?!

If he has some savings for a deposit that would reassure me he's a financially responsible adult and I'd CONSIDER moving in together, but only with certainties that there is no claim on my property.

This, make sure you absolutely do get this done and if you eventually put him on the mortgage get the solicitor to draw up documents that protect your deposit and financial contribution up to that time or he could take up to 50% of the total house on a breakup.

Make the agreement fair to you both and also the household work as well. Time is a resource and his isn't more valuable than yours.

What has he said about finances? Does he plan to save all the rent or does he plan to upgrade his lifestyle? Is he generally a saver or a spender? Do you know? Presumably you will split all bills including council tax. That should give you a little bit of extra money, and should enable him to save. Everything is going to get twice as much wear and tear - washing machine, carpets etc. How are you going to agree about any repairs or replacements?

And beyond the money, how will you split housework, shopping, cooking?

Great opportunity to talk about money. That will really help you see if you are compatible.

Ask him how he’d see it working financially and go into it with an open mind. Work it out between you, with lots of time to actually decide what to do.

You both need to be better off as a result, and agree what to do with the savings. If you are a saver, and his contribution reduces your bills, in ten years time if you split up you’ll have a home and savings. He’ll also have savings that will allow him to get his own place.

If he’s a spender, or on low earnings, then in ten years time he’ll be vulnerable and unable to move out which indirectly becomes your problem.

Alternatively, he builds massive savings while you don’t, you may reduce hours due to having children and use your savings on that. He waltzes off in ten years having lived off you, and you are wiped out.

All needs careful thinking through and discussing.

I had this exact situation (with my now husband). We just talked honestly about it, I continued paying the mortgage, we split bills and he put the exact same amount of mortgage into a savings account. We've just bought a house together now and the money in that savings account went to deposit :)

Nothing less than this.

How much is his rent pm?
How much is your mortgage pm?
How much are your bills pm?

Perhaps a compromise if that he pays half the bills (including food shop).

That way, he can save towards his own property (or a future joint property with you).

And you can ensure he has no claim on your property.

DO NOT PUT HIM ON THE MORTGAGE. PLEASE!

He should contribute more towards bills and socials to make up for the fact that he is not paying rent. That's it.

Even if you marry, if you are the higher earner and are bringing in more cash, protect yourself in those first few years until things even out.

The whole "one pot" thing doesn't work when you're young and there is a big income disparity.

Things change over time once kids come in and more years go by.

Please learn from my mistakes.

Honestly, just date men until you meet the one you know you're going to marry.

British men have got a terrible reputation for using women they live with.

This is exactly the sort of response I was expecting more of. It's ridiculous. So you limit your risk but continue with significant financial outlay. While he has zero risk and significant financial savings. This is not a compromise. this is 100% benefiting him and not OP.

Minimising risk can be done without necessarily having to take a financial hit.

H

Don't put him on the mortgage.

Have a think about how much you spend on food and bills and what would be a fair proportion for him to pay. You could ask him to pay half the bills and then maybe contribute more towards things like food or petrol to account for the fact that he's not paying rent.

He should then be saving the extra money he's not spending on rent.

If you sit down with him and go through the finances you can figure out how much he should be paying towards bills and how much he will save each month as a result. That should give you an idea of how long it would take him to save up a deposit so you could potentially buy a place together if you're still a couple in a few years' time.

Think about it this way. You both currently have your own space, and you would be consolidating into a shared space. That means each of you has less space than before, so it should be costing each of you less than before.

You should see a financial benefit to him living with you because you'll now have someone to split the bills with. He should see a financial benefit to living with you because he won't be paying to privately rent his own place. But the mortgage should remain your responsibility because you are the homeowner and the two of you are not yet at a stage in your relationship where you are ready to pool your finances and jointly own property.

Think about where you'd like to be in five years' time. If you're no longer with this man you don't want to have kept him for free for however long, with no financial benefit to you. You certainly don't want him to have any kind of claim on your property. So you want your property to remain yours alone, and for you to have had some sort of financial benefit in the form of reduced bills and shared living costs. If you are still with this man then presumably by then you will want to upgrade to a more expensive property which you can jointly own. This means he will need to have a deposit so he can match your contribution, so it will benefit you as well if he is able to save the money he isn't spending on rent during this time. If he doesn't save it, it will be clear that buying a property with you as an equal partner isn't a priority for him.

I’d definitely see a solicitor and don’t put him on the mortgage or have him pay towards that or home improvements. Drawing up and signing a cohabitation agreement wouldn’t hurt. I’d get him to pay a little more food/bills/holidays etc to make up for the fact he’s living rent free. I’d also ask him to save so that you can afford to buy together (ring fencing your higher contribution) in future.