Boyfriend wants to move in

[Fantafruit]

I'm looking for some advice please. I was going to post in the property section but I thought there might be more traffic here.

I currently live on my own and bought my 2 bed house when I was 24 (now 28) with some savings and a gifted deposit from my dad.
The mortgage is solely in my name and I've also spent money on the house over the years (new kitchen & bathroom).

I met my partner around 15 months ago and we've officially been together just over a year. He's currently renting a 2 bed flat but has asked me if I want to move in together soon. I want to but no idea how it works when one person already has a mortgage. I did think about selling mine and buying somewhere together but I don't think he's in a position to at the moment as he doesn't have much savings (his rent is quite high). I also love my house and would be sad to leave.

My dad has told me, under no circumstances, to put him on the mortgage. I know I can do what I want as it's my house but my dad is just trying to protect me, and obviously I want to protect myself (even though I do love my partner and want to live with him). I just have no idea how to go about it or protect myself. Financially I'm in a good position, a good job, some savings. I just want to be careful.
Should I speak with a solicitor?

If anyone can advise or point me in the right direction, I'd really appreciate it. Thank you

I bet he wants to move in with you! Feet under the table, nice and cosy.

I might sound cynical but this would benefit him far more than you. For now I would be cautious and maybe leave it another year and see how you feel. MN is littered with posts on a regular basis of women who realise they’ve been lumbered with a cock lodger. Not saying your boyfriend is one, but I would be careful.

Big No from me and your Dad is right
You've only been together for 15 months which is so short a time to consider such a big step
He has asked to move in because it's convenient for him
Please step back and consider his possible motive
Yes, I haven't learnt a lesson!
I have my own property and it's staying that way!

See a solicitor and don't do anything until you have.

My dad has told me, under no circumstances, to put him on the mortgage

^

Your dad is right

But that's why I asked for an indication of the figures, so we can find out what's fair.

OP's mortgage could be £400pm for all we know.

I think try getting the facts before calling things ridiculous.

Have learnt a lesson

Don’t move him in OP.

I'm being a pedant I know but everyone saying don't put him on the mortgage...

The mortgage is the debt liability.
The title is the ownership. They are two different things.

Your dad is right. Do as pps have suggested and get legal advice and any agreements drawn up by a solicitor.

Do you actually want him to move in? Would it make you happier?

Lol @ him offering to live with you, as if that would be him doing you a favor !
Ha🤣
Ha🤣
Ha🤣

Listen to your dad.

I was in a very similar position as you - 2 bed house bought in my twenties, with money I inherited after my Dad died. A boyfriend moved in with me after about a year of being together. I absolutely did not put him on the mortgage and would advise you don't. Keep finances separate. There is no reason to merge them. I just asked for half the bills and council tax. He was able to save up as his outgoings were less now that he wasn't renting, and I retained my asset. Win win.

We split up after six months of living together as it was, and it was a simple and easy split becuase we had completely separate finances.

Interestingly the boyfriend has phrased it as 'moving in together' when really he means him moving in on YOU.
A little bit of a smoke screen to conceal his true intentions . . .
he thinks he's found his golden goose!! Now he just has to sweet talk you until he's got his feet firmly under the table and you have no choice but to carry on laying golden eggs for him.

Similar situation here a few years ago.

Do not put him on the mortgage right now!!!

I had a property which although mortgaged, I had from age 18 and had significant equity in.

My situation occured when I was getting married and I didn't want to run the risk of losing what I had before the marriage.

A solicitor helped me and DH draw up a deed of trust, which meant that I owned x amount of the house (or percentage if preferred) and that would remain mine regardless of what ever happened in the marriage.

We put in another clause that my DH would pay x amount of mortgage/household costs per month which equated to x percentage/amount should we split.

Essentially, a decent solicitor can draw something up for you for around £250. Don't run the risk of being financially screwed over.

I agree with dear old Dad.
You are too young to let a relationship change how you own your own place.
I would respond by living together part of the week or living together in a rental. I would also strongly let it be known that after a year living happily together you will be expecting a committment or you will be moving back out.
Nothing wrong with being engaged, then married and then having a family, in that order, as it gives pleenty of time to work out clear legal boundaries and responsibilities etc.

Having a two bed offers an easy solution if the other bedroom is spare (rather than used by you as an office).

Rent the second room to him with a lodger agreement and include bills (not food shopping though). He can keep all his stuff in there. You can see on spareroom.com what market rate is and decide whether you want to ask less than that. Or work out the outgoings and charge him half. If it is under £625/month you don't have to pay tax but that must include bills and the room must be furnished. He pays you set amount each month and if it goes well you can re-assess the situation, maybe buying a place together. If it doesn't you just need to give him 1 month's notice. All maintenance costs, e.g. lightbulbs, getting plumber in, should be paid by you.

Lodger Agreement (spareroom.co.uk)

HS223 Rent a Room Scheme (2024) - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)

Are you ready for him to move in? A year isn't long really.

I'm a bit wary because he's asked you, rather than you have together made the decision.

What is he like with finances? Does he have any debt? Does he pay his rent regularly. Is he fair about paying his way when he visits/stays over?

Is he tidy? Does he have a lot of stuff? When he stays over does he clear up after himself? Do you have the storage room/space for his stuff?

I really enjoyed living alone, even though it was financially difficult - it gives you a space to go back to which is all your own if you're having a bad day/ had an argument/ when you just don't want other people around.

Do you want the compromise of someone else making choices about your home/what happens in it?

Only do this is you would prefer to live with someone else rather than alone - not for his convenience or because he wants to or it saves him money.

Do you even want to live with him??

Because you don’t have to if you don’t want to.

If you want him to move in, have a solicitor draft a lodgers agreement for your specific circumstances and don’t let him put any money into your house.

1. If you accept rent from him, you will be leaving yourself open to a claim on your property in the event of a split (if no other legal agreement like lodger was in place)
2. Do not put him on the mortgage - it might last longer than this relationship and the value in having your own property and the security that brings for you as a women is much more valuable.
3. See a solicitor to talk about a Living Together Agreement. It's a legal document which you both sign which covers things like he gives up all rights to claim on your property, and as part of that does not pay towards maintenance etc. Very useful in the case of a relationship breakdown and any challenge on your property.

Do NOT put your house at risk until you are long down the road together and seriously committed. I listened to my Mum about that, did all the above, and it's served me VERY well.

We put in another clause that my DH would pay x amount of mortgage/household costs per month which equated to x percentage/amount should we split.

That's interesting, what was the purpose of this? Was it to give you a period of adjustment so you could cover the mortgage on your own if you split?

So this situation happened but the other way round

My boyfriend had mortgage and I wasn’t in a position to afford mortgage or a deposit to own home together.

He didn’t put me on mortgage (I wouldn’t have accepted anyway) and instead we halved all bills and food shopping.

You could have an agreement that is similar and that boyfriend saves x amount a month as your deposit for when you move in together.

Please do not put him on mortgage, if anything was to happen you’d be financially screwed.

So? Her mortgage is £400. And his rent is £800. So she continues to pay the mortgage, he doesn't pay rent, and they split the bills 50/50. Arguably that's worse - he's still saving much more than her in both absolute and proportional terms.

Barring him being on minimum wage and in huge debt, while OP is a high earner, I just cannot see a situation where this works out so that they both benefit more or less equally, by any metric, if he only pays towards bills. And it drives me mad that this is so often suggested as a solution.

If it’s in your sole name, it will be hard for him to claim an interest even if he pays you, unless he can point to an agreement between you to share ownership. If you put him on the mortgage (and therefore also on the title because he’d presumably not agree to be on it without that) it would be presumed he owned a half share unless you have a deed of trust to say otherwise.
If you can’t afford a cohabitation agreement, get him to put in writing to you via email or something with his signature on it that he has no legal interest in your home. Additionally make sure all payments to the mortgage come from your sole account. That way you should be okay. The problems would come if you have any discussions where you tell him it’s half his or that he will build up a share over time or where he pays your mortgage directly from his own account.

I think it’s a shame to not live together purely because one of you owns a house, and so there is potential risk. You just need to protect yourself.

I would say £ amounts aren’t particularly relevant. You continue paying the full mortgage. BF pays you half of what he currently pays rent. You split all bills.

He benefits from half rent and half bills
You benefit from lower mortgage and half bills

You have the long term benefit of capital appreciation and secure housing.