Boyfriend wants to move in

[Fantafruit]

I'm looking for some advice please. I was going to post in the property section but I thought there might be more traffic here.

I currently live on my own and bought my 2 bed house when I was 24 (now 28) with some savings and a gifted deposit from my dad.
The mortgage is solely in my name and I've also spent money on the house over the years (new kitchen & bathroom).

I met my partner around 15 months ago and we've officially been together just over a year. He's currently renting a 2 bed flat but has asked me if I want to move in together soon. I want to but no idea how it works when one person already has a mortgage. I did think about selling mine and buying somewhere together but I don't think he's in a position to at the moment as he doesn't have much savings (his rent is quite high). I also love my house and would be sad to leave.

My dad has told me, under no circumstances, to put him on the mortgage. I know I can do what I want as it's my house but my dad is just trying to protect me, and obviously I want to protect myself (even though I do love my partner and want to live with him). I just have no idea how to go about it or protect myself. Financially I'm in a good position, a good job, some savings. I just want to be careful.
Should I speak with a solicitor?

If anyone can advise or point me in the right direction, I'd really appreciate it. Thank you

Tell him that you would prefer to move in with him and split the bills as he wants to live with you so much.

Rent out your house and save any profit.

Listen to your Dad - he knows what your boyfriend is up to.

But that's why I asked for an indication of the figures involved! If he's making a significant saving on rent then perhaps he pays more towards the bills.

Do not put him on the mortgage or title of your house! Your father is trying to protect you. See a solicitor who specializes in property for advice.

DD is a high earner and bought out her ex’s share of the house when they divorced. Six months into her current relationship and I suspect the low-earning boyfriend will be moving in before long. I know she would refuse to read this thread and insists she knows best.

Good luck OP and don’t make any big decisions under pressure from someone who stands to benefit a lot more than you do from his plan.

Your father is right.
I would be very careful.
Suggest you move into his flat and pay half and rent yours out.
See how he responds to thus.
Women have a tendency to be very naive when it comes to protecting themselves, unlike men.
I would move forward with great care.
He has little savings, what are his prospects?
Be careful they aren't a well paid girlfriend with savings and a home of her own...

I like the earlier suggestion that he is a lodger with his own bedroom ... aother way is that the amount of mortgage you have is irrelevant; find out how much it would cost if you both rented the house and charge him half of that. Plus half of all bills.

Boyfriends can come and go so do not put him on your mortgage.

Equally, be wary and always protect yourself. What if he moved in and 6 months later you decide he's not the one for you. How do u kick him out then? Where will he go? How soon can he move out? If he has a lodger agreement then u can't dissolve the agreement until end of the term/contract. Wot if you break up part way through the contract and he leaves the place in a mess or worse still, start bringing random girls home? 18 months is not a long time, especially when u may have a lifetime together.

When I dated my then husband, he had his own place and I had mine (we both owned our own apartments) and we stayed over at each other's places for a few years. He tended to stay at mine as it was more homely. We both paid our own bills for our own properties. But at least we had a chance of experiencing living together (ish) to see if it would work out.

He's got more to gain and you have more to lose. Tread slowly and carefully. Seek legal advice. Or alternatively, do nothing and keep the status quo and just continue dating as you are and he come and stay the night occasionally. Maybe draw up a contract between you and dad, that a % of the house belongs to your dad, based upon his gift, which is now a loan.

How serious would you say the relationship is? This is very important. Unfortunately there are men out there who effectively target women homeowners and live off them. I'm nearly 60 now, it happened to me because I was too trusting and naive, I've seen it happen to plenty of other women too sadly.

You need to have some difficult conversations with him to decide if you're financially compatible or not, and find out exactly what his financial situation is. Hopefully not all fancy clothes, rented flat and flashy car on finance with nothing in the bank.

Your dad is absolutely right, and definitely agree with seeing a solicitor for advice and a cohabitation agreement before him moving in.

Once he’s been living in your house for a period of time he’ll be entitled to a share of it so no chance

@Fantafruit We had this exact same situation. They moved in and paid towards the bills (council tax, electric, water etc) and also towards food etc. I paid mortgage and when we decided to buy together I sold and we put equal deposit etc.

keep things separate for the time being and see how the living together goes. If I a year or 2s time you want to take the next step then look to buy together.

That’s categorically untrue

Don’t put him on the mortgage
if you buy in in the future you can still protect your deposit / equity with a deed of trust

if you get married then fair enough that would change things

He would do exceptionally well if you put him on the deeds / mortgage now and you split up in three years or so plus it would be money that your dad gave you ( (deposit ) so as a parent I wouldn’t be happy if my hard earned gift was going to benefit someone else

hr could depending on what you do walk away with 50 percent of your equity / deposit

I would work out what a lodger would cost
so say a lodger cost 600 a month
i would get him to save 300 in say a joint savings account that you both have access to

and give you say 300 towards bills
That way you know he is saving and your getting money towards bills /

If you don’t split up then you both have a decent size deposit to the next property

if he doesn’t save then you know he just wants a free ride and home

my son has a 100k deposit
which he used to buy a house with his partner who put in 0 amount
his deposit is protected by a deed of trust
So if they split they only share the equity

you could also work out how much your interest is and get him to pay that so he’s not paying towards the repayment part of your mortgage

so if your mortgage is 1k and interest is 400
you could get him to pay 400 and then say 200 towards bills

dont fall for the “well your paying for it now so why should I pay as you can already afford it “

Men are such vile creatures.

well, your original message suggested a "compromise" is that he pays half the bills. There was no suggestion that he pays more of the bills so perhaps that was implied and I didn't get. In which case I guess in tihs very specific situation of a tiny mortgage, him paying MORE of the bills might work. But even the, I think it would have to be that he ALSO had a very small rent to make this even vaguely feasible. As otherwise, he's still saving a good chunk on bills AND all his previous rent.

See how he reacts if you suggest renting a place together and splitting everything 50/50 whilst you rent your place out.

I suspect that will tell you whether he is on the make or not.

Do you even want to live with this man? No harm in saying you aren’t ready, happy to review if you are still together in a years time…

You'll be fine, just don't marry him or put him on the mortgage unless/until you're way down the line and he can contribute equally to you.

This would be my approach, I would pretend I assumed that was what he meant.
No way is that what he wants!!
He sees a situation where he's much worse off than OP is and he wants some of what she's got for himself. If they moved into rented together then he'll be in a slightly better situation (lower rent & bills) than he was, but SHE will be better off than him because she'll have her rental income and lower bills. That will leave him even more resentful that a woman has a better life than he does.
Start a discussion along those lines OP and watch him try to wriggle & spin it into what he wants.