To think my friend was really rude?

[Tiamaria86]

We have come for a week away in a caravan with the kids. My friend and her family booked the same week so we will spend some time with them but not all the time.

We arrived and typically its pouring down. She has just knocked on the door to ask if we want to order takeaway with them. I said oh the kids are just eating some bacon rib, potato and cabbage soup I brought with us (they love this, always request it).

She laughed her head off and asked why I've brought food like that with me. I said I've brought a big lasagne, beef stew and a chicken curry that I made as well. We will get fish and chips etc one night and maybe eat out but I thought it was just better to be prepared. She thinks I'm nuts and really made fun of me.

We've just bought a house and money is a bit tight to be honest so I did want to keep costs down and not waste money on crappy food when possible. I feel a bit embarrassed now though like I'm a tight arse!

We hate ready meals so I would have done exactly as you have. A takeaway is nice but only if it’s an occasional treat. She’s probably gone back to her caravan told her OH who has said we should have done the same!
Enjoy your break.

@Screamingabdabz agree
It is a mindset

She’s irritated because you doing that has removed part of the social aspect she was planning for. If you’re only eating out once or twice, then they’re left alone with their take away and no drinking mates.
Still, it was really rude of her to mock you, and you now know she’s not the friend you thought she was.

If you want to put yourself in the friend’s shoes and imagine how she’s feeling, it’s the equivalent of her being a teenager on a sleep over and the girl whose house it is wants to go to sleep because it’s bed time.
It’s unexpected and it ruins the vibe.
Like I said tho, no excuse for her to make you feel embarrassed. Not nice of her.

Camping and caravan holidays are budget holidays and I'd have thought the whole point of going to a caravan was so you can cook and eat your own meals in the van instead of paying to eat out.

Maybe your friend hasn't stayed in a caravan before?

When I was a child, we stayed in a seaside resort in a caravan. There was a small fridge. I'm really surprised that they now have big enough freezers for a week's supply of dinners and bringing home cooked food ready to defrost and heat up sounds like a great idea if you're organised.

I did find listing the soup's ingredients quite a long reply and perhaps that is what your friend found funny too?

Can you ring her and ask her to your van for pudding and/or a nightcap instead so that way you all get to hang out together which is the point of being there at the same time surely?

Does anyone on MN crack jokes with their friends?
It doesn't sound like OP likes this person; it does sound a bit funny ie. I bought cabbage soup on holiday....

Your food sounds yummy. I'd much rather that than a takeaway. I'd feel smug if I were you, not embarrassed!

As I say, it’s a mindset.

You may well love self-catering, washing up, caravans, penny pinching and same old food. But that is not my idea of a great holiday.

I would not want to eat out for a whole week. It's much nicer to have home cooked healthy food for a few nights and a chippy and a meal out as well. I like that you already have all your food prepared so you just have to defrost and heat. It's not weird at all, especially with children who may be fussy. Best to bring what you know they will like and eat.

@Screamingabdabz but why the judgy smug comments? You sound utterly ghastly

Sounds like we had the same mum.

Funny enough I try to strike a balance between a few easy self catering options and eating out. Save some money but not at the expense of having to cook all holiday.

How weird of her. We took breakfast and snacks away last time but it was only for a couple of nights so we planned on takeout one night, pub meeting with family the next. Had we stayed longer, we would probably have taken meals.

Why? Because I’ve done my fair share of those types of ‘holidays’ and I’m entitled to my opinion. I didn’t resort to name calling though. 🫶🏻

Bringing food from home is part of the caravan holiday experience! Extra points if its weird tinned stuff you'd never normally eat. It's like the rain on the roof when you're cosy in the tiny bed, and sitting on the beach in a deck chair with a kagool on and blanket on your knees. Your friend needs to get into the spirit of the thing.

I guess there’s those that always eat out every meal on holiday and those that don’t.
We always bring batch cooked food from home and eat out a couple of times. Keeps the cost down.
Nothing to laugh about. I’m sure you could just join them for drinks instead of food

Very rude! We go away yearly with friends of ours so in one caravan there are 4 adults and 3 DCs all under 7. Over a break of three nights away the first we have cheeses, crackers etc and dh and friends dh might get a pizza or fish and chips, then the other 2 nights friend and myself will take turns cooking - usually similar to you; a curry, lasagne, mince and dumplings etc. we always take boat loads of food with us and snacks because food on site we find is always so expensive.

Ignore her and enjoy your time away - your soup also sounds delicious!

Did you actually say "we're eating bacon Rob, cabbage and d potato soup"? Because I would probably have giggled at that just because it sounds funny. I wouldn't be laughing at you or your food (which sounds delicious) I'd just think it was a bit funny to give so much detail. Like, you'd usually just say "no thanks we're just having some soup" without the full info?

It doesn't sound like OP likes this person

Oh the classic Mumsnet response as soon as there is the slightest hint of a disagreement between two friends!

She should see the amount of food I take abroad when we go. We usually hire a villa so this works really well. I batch cook and freeze to take which also helps keep other stuff cold in transit. I fill a suitcase.
Never had a problem and saves a fortune.

We could only afford holidays if we self catered. Obviously we budgeted for fish and chips one day, and the occasional ice cream. But when we had young kids we simply couldn't live on takeaways and meals out, even for a week. Money was super tight, and anyone who mocked me wouldn't have been a friend for long.

And it wasn't remotely miserable before screamingabdabz starts. They were great times and I miss those holidays.

@Tiamaria86 I don't know how it came about that you and your friend both booked the same caravan site for the same week, but I assume there was some discussion between you both at some point before-hand? In which case it sounds to me like you and she both had different ideas of what spending some time together, but not all, actually meant

I suspect that in her mind, as others have said, you'd meet of an evening and have a drink or two over food and a nice relaxed evening. I take your word for it that she was really rude to you, but I don't think laughing, on its own, at the long list of food you had, was necessarily rude, but as I say you were there and I wasn't. You will know from exactly what she said and how she said it, whether she was just surprised or being deliberately nasty

I hope you can discuss with her about how you both see the week going and hopefully come to an understanding

I’m happy you had nice holidays. And just so you know, when someone ‘mocks’ your clever planning, instead of falling out with them just mock them right back. Piss taking is very bonding if you take it in the right spirit 😉.

I couldn't be bothered to cook in advance, but when on a self catering holiday I always do a big supermarket shop when I arrive, or organise a delivery.
I'll eat out occasionally, but wouldn't want take away every day (and tend to avoid driving home after an evening meal).

Your food will be 10 times better than any takeaway and 100 times more healthy. Well done for being so organised. Yes, your friend was very rude.

I’ve only ordered takeaway twice in my whole life, it’s just not my thing. There’s nothing wrong with the food that you brought with you. Your friend was very rude.