Being asked for a trust pilot rating on my husband’s cremation!

[Completelydonechick]

My beautiful husband was cremated on 13th May, following the short and devastating effect of cancer.
I was shocked today to receive a marketing request from the crematorium, asking me to write a review and star grade my experience with them, to enable others to make an informed choice! AIBU to say that this is completely unacceptable! I know we live in a market led world, but when a loved one dies, the disposable of the body options are somewhat limited. It isn’t Amazon! I wasn’t thinking about checking ratings, I was thinking about how to lay my husband to rest in the most respectful way possible without losing my emotional sanity.
I did send back a very curt reply, requesting that they never contact me again. Maybe I should have left a 1-star review, saying that I wished that I had never needed to use the service due to me not wanting my husband to have died.
What is happening in this crazy world! Where everyone is accused of being overly sensitive and yet this kind of practise is okay! Or am I being overly sensitive? I am obviously not in the greatest headspace atm!

That does seem really insensitive. Has the request come directly from the crematorium? Sorry for your loss x

That's absolutely shocking!!! I'd email the CEO. It's so insensitive.

So sorry for your loss 💐

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss OP and the request for a review from the crematorium. I wonder if it was a computer generated thing but whatever it was was in poor taste. I think their marketing strategy needs a desperate rethink.

Possibly the most crass thing I've heard! It's in no way acceptable. So sorry for your loss x

Enable them to make a choice? What other crematoria options are there? I'd complain. A local paper would be interested in this; I doubt you'd be up for an interview but if someone could let them know on your behalf they'd investigate.

You are most certainly not being too sensitive, I am truly sorry for your loss

I'm sorry for your loss. That is awful on their behalf.

Firstly, I’m so sorry for your loss!

I agree that it does seem very insensitive, however I’m wondering if it may be a knock on effect from the recent scandal of Legacy Independent Funeral Directors in Hull, where people are undoubtedly concerned and possibly the one you used are asking for reviews to provide reassurance to others based on the service to show it is legitimate.

That’s dreadful, utterly tone deaf! Please complain to the CEO. Sorry for your loss.

I get so fed up with being asked to give reviews for everything now, but this is particularly insensitive! My friend's husband died in hospital, about a month after a letter addressed to her husband arrived, asking him to review his experience at the hospital...

I take the point @hg167 is raising, but surely this kind of customer comment could be gathered by an attempt at an in-person phone call six months down the line asking if the service user would be willing to participate in providing a review, not an automated email banged out a month later!

Well, I was happy with where I arranged my late husband’s cremation and service, and they did ask me if I was happy with everything.

But, it wasn’t a Trustpilot thing. I’d just ignore it.

Sorry for your loss.💐

I can’t add anything but want to say I’m so sorry for your loss and I’m horrified they would do this, you’re absolutely NOT being too sensitive.

OP, YANBU at all. This is really insensitive of their marketing team. I'm actually hoping it was automated but even so that's something they should look at because it's not going to go down well with families is it?

On the point I quoted, we were halfway between 2 crematoriums and chose one that wasn't "usual" when my dad died (it was new and much nicer than the other one but not many locals knew it existed). So some people do get a bit of choice.

I’m so sorry to hear that. I read this and ended up reading a bit about mortuary marketing.

Reading this marketing advice makes me feel a bit sick:

”After you have provided your services to a family, it’s important to wait a few weeks after the funeral to ask for a review. The family may be grieving and the last thing on their mind is leaving an online review. Respect the family’s space and wait 1-2 weeks before sending an email request. Frame the request as a way to improve your services and help other families in need of your funeral home.”

I think 6 months would be more appropriate!

Marketing is icky in general.

I think the way they have gone about it is insensitive however I work for a charity within the funeral industry and they encourage burial grounds to give out feedback forms to customers. The forms received aren't made public but are used in a way to check up on funeral providers. There isn't actually a lot of regulations in the industry so there is a huge scope for people to take advantage.

I’m sorry for your loss and understand why this upset and annoyed you. It is really inappropriate.

This reminds me of visiting my local a and e recently and being asked to push a feedback button in the exit to say if I was happy with the service and would I recommend it to family and friends? I think that’s really awful. Nobody compares hospitals in the same way as a hotel when they have had an accident. In a decent country we should be able to expect a good enough service at whichever one is nearest.

Yes – if they want feedback they can make a personal call asking if everything was alright. Although even that, I mean I don’t know, it’s all about them really isn’t it. And I guess since the goal of a trustpilot review is marketing, I doubt the personal phone call would serve their purpose.

Sorry for your loss OP, you’re not being sensitive, it was wrong of them to contact you like this.

1 to 2 weeks! ‘May’ be grieving!

Christ 🤦🏻

I'm so sorry for your loss. That does sound insensitive and badly handled to send out so soon. That said, I'd be glad to see reviews of funeral providers as we had a bad experience with one who made a mess of several things, which made an upsetting event worse, so ratings and reviews can be genuinely helpful to someone avoid an experience like ours.

I'm sorry OP; that does seem very insensitive.

had a leaflet after my dad's cremation asking if I wanted to use any of his ashes to make jewellery. I did not.

My DH is very frail with cancer. We received a leaflet from a recently opened crematorium with 25% off a funeral.

I got the marketing leaflet about turning ashes into jewellery 3 days after DMs funeral! Was most unimpressed when her death was still so raw.

I admit I went through these emotions too, OP, when my father died and I organised his cremation and funeral. But then after a while of thinking about it, I realised it was actually quite a stressful experience choosing a cremation service, especially through grief, and I wanted one dependable and thoughtful that would go without a hitch. I did originally go with a very well known provider before it occurred to me to look up reviews. The reviews were not great with plenty that detailed how they had made the process harder than necessary and made upsetting errors. I then switched to a better reviewed company and it went perfectly and the staff were so brilliant every step of the way.

I decided I would want others to benefit from having an evidenced good choice when going through something like that. There is, after all, so much to do and sort out, that having the extra assurance can be exactly what you need.

I'm so sorry OP. Thinking of you and sending love. The funeral directors should not have done this and are beyond insensitive. It seems this is the world we live in now.