Would ths have confudsed you , Ds angry at me

[HowMuchShouldBePaid]

A few weeks ago, as a very special treat , I took DS(21) out for a meal for his 21st at a very smart restaurant.

There were lots of waiting staff and our water gasses were refilled ( with quite the flourish !) as soon as we had taken more than few sips.

We didn't order any drinks form the menu, TBH I could only cover the meal and not any "extras" .

A few days ago DS says

"If I had bought my own juice would they have kept refilling it ?"

I was confused by this, initially thinking " what ? bring squash so you could add it to the water" , but just generally a bit perplexed as to what he meant.

This was not a restaurant that sold " juice" ( whatever it was he actually meant by that)

I must have looked confused as DS was quite angry saying "WHAT don't you understand !"

He does have difficulty with making putting what he wants across and I try very hard to understand him, but he can be incredibly obtuse at times.

Would you have been confused by what he said ?

What he actually meant was , If he had ordered a drink from the menu would that drink have been refilled over and over , as was the case with the water.

He said bought, but you appear to have heard brought?

He does seem old for this question though.

Sounds like difficulty in understanding on both sides..

I think I did miss hear bought and brought , but even so ,I find the phrase just a odd way to ask what he was asking

Strange question for a 21 year old. No they wouldn't have kept Re filling it. And who bought it wouldn't change if it was refilled... does he normally talk to you in such an unkind way OP?

Yes agree. The difference in understanding or not appears to be in the comprehension of the word bought. You seem to think it means 'bring' not 'buy'.

Agree, it sounds as though you were confusing bought and brought. His question was quite straightforward, whether juice would be unlimited in the same way the water was and the answer is no, tap water is (usually) provided free and unlimited but all other drinks are priced in the menu by the glass or bottle.

I think his question was clear.

I wouldn’t think it an odd question as we tend to go to Harvester type places where you can have a refillable drink of coke or whatever, so DS would probably expect that in a posh place too!

I would’ve said “I don’t understand what you’re saying - what do you mean?” And then if he got angry I’d have told him to wind his neck in and have a grown up conversation like a normal person. Just because he’s your son and he has form doesn’t mean he shouldn’t try harder.

I would have said, "If Id bought a drink from the menu would they have kept refilling it"

it was the " if I bought my own drink " that I found add

@HowMuchShouldBePaid that's what confused me. The if I bought my own.... why would who bought it effect how or if it was topped up. Or if you brought your own from home they most certainly wouldn't top it up...

hw was told to wind his neck in, even if I had miss hear him , there's not need for an aggressive answer

Not really. You couldn't afford to buy him a drink from the menu so he was asking if he had bought it himself would it have had unlimited refills. Fairly straightforward question I think?

Your writing style is confusing plus all the extra spaces after punctuation and spelling mistakes, yet you criticise him?

I would have understood what he meant.

Edited as I misread the OP.

It's not such an odd question- after all, lots of cheaper places do free refills on soft drinks.

That’s exactly what I thought he meant.

If he'd ordered a bottle of wine off the menu then they would have kept topping his glass up until the bottle was empty. He'd pay for that bottle but wouldn't get any more unless he ordered a 2nd bottle (to pay for).
If he'd ordered a beer, they'd have poured it and when it was finished they may have asked him if he wanted another - but it would have been added to the bill.
The exception would have been if it was a restaurant where they do taster menus and wine 'flights'. You pay extra for the wine flight and get one glass of a different wine to go with each course.
So,no your DS would not have had his glass continually topped up free of charge unless it was a place that offers as much as you can drink - which are usually bottomless brunch type places.

He can have , to me at least , an "odd" way of phrasing things. but if I ask to clarify he then can get himself in more of a pickle as hes then trying to rephrase what was , for him, a perfectly reasonable phrase. he does struggle with making himself clear, not just to me

No what he said makes complete sense.

Except he was clear.

On the other hand your posts aren’t completely clear.

Did he know in advance that you were only going to have water? TBH I think I would have gone for a meal in a less expensive place where I could afford to have a drink.

There was no wine. They were drinking tap water which was free. The son was asking if he had bought a drink from the menu whether it would be topped up like the tap water was.

Yes, exactly.

Maybe he felt a bit weird sitting there with tap water on his birthday.

My 18 year old ds is very like your son for speaking/misunderstandings and then getting very cross about being misunderstood and refusing to explain. He has a diagnosis of ASD.

I agree with this. I don’t think he was unclear, he was asking IF he had bought a drink, would it have kept being refilled.