To think droves of teachers will make the decision by husband made today- to leave

[Peakyshelby]

Well after 6 years of teaching my husband has broken down, gone to the doctors, been signed off and says he is done.

he has done 3 years in 2 schools and then done supply for 3 years. There is too much to list but the highlights have been

been told to go and fuck himself and other insults thrown at him by kids with hardly any consequences from parents and schools

having stuff chucked at him

having to appear as a witness in court when a parent beat up his own child at home time in the playground

having parents create a smear group on WhatsApp against him and 2 other newly qualified teachers because the parents said there little darlings behaviour must be down to inexperienced teachers not being able to handle them.

having parents laugh and him and tell him he is picking on their little darlings by trying to sanction them.

have children laughing at him and saying my mum and dad don’t care what I do

hardly any support from above.

There is too much more to write but today he had a 10 year old child walk up to him and pour a water bottle over his head.

he is done. He qualified with a group of 10 others and 8 of them have since quit. 2 did not get through there NQT year.

He says the system is broken

This drives me crazy! This entitlement that the kids and these parents have.

There is a whole generation being brought up to believe that actions don’t have consequences!

And it is the kids who toe the line and try their best all the time suffering most from this nonsense. Wish more parents were shouting from the rooftops that they want better for their children. They want quiet respectful calm classrooms!

You were treated appallingly. I don’t know what’s wrong with society but there is no/little respect now for others.

I went to a horrible comp too - it used to be a great grammar school and then it went downhill rapidly as a comp. It became infamous in the county for being a dire place to teach and learn. I was bullied for years for working hard and wanting to do well. I hated it. Children deserve so much better as do all staff.

If there were greater investment in schools, much better pay for teaching staff, would this make a difference? Isn't this a huge part of the problem. Teaching sounds pretty stressful in some situations so it feels to me that it's another sector that needs to pay much better to justify alot of the difficulty. This won't happen under the Tories. Hopefully better under Labour.

I can see there are some horrendous unhinged parents out there which must make teaching intolerable! Let's not forget that there are some vile bullying individuals out there and some will be teachers. It wasn't that long ago teachers would throw things at pupils and whip their arses. Some middle ground is important.

Sounds great in theory but ‘boot them out’ and it doesn't impact on the parent at all. They really don't care if their child is at school or not, or where their child is if they are not at home or school.

Boot them out and school leaders and LA senior staff are hauled over the coals by the DfE for rising exclusion rates.

Boot them out and the police are on the backs of school leaders for the chaos they cause in the locality. The police do not have adequate staffing to be dealing with unruly kids everyday.

Boot them out and the child ends up in unsavoury company, becomes a criminal, requires even more support. The child is unsafe, the child is scooped up by a gang or by drug dealers through county lines. Addiction, criminality.

Boot them out, to nothing because this bloody government has taken so much money away from any form of support for children.

I'm with you in terms of schools keeping staff and children safe and if exclusion was an answer, yes please. Unfortunately it just creates a bigger mess with little impact on ineffective parents.

Expulsions need to be brought back.

There should no right to an education and if you demonstrate that you don't want it by your behaviour, then off you fuck-you have forfeited the privilege of an education.

This way, teachers would gain some standing, pupils who want to learn-at whatever pace-will feel more secure and as for the bleeding hearts who will wonder what will happen to bottle throwing Benny or loudmouth Linda, well who gives a fuck!

If they misbehave themselves on the streets, punish them and their parents hard.

The had their chance-they blew it but what can no longer be allowed is that they ruin the lives of fellow class mates and their teachers.

Something has to give at some point. State schools will just end up completely failing. I don’t think it’s any one thing but a mixture.
I’m not a teacher but we have 2 primary age children who we are going to remove and home educate. The oldest has autism and just can’t cope in mainstream. The nearest suitable provision is over an hour away which is just in no way practical.
My youngest is NT but really hates going in. She used to love school but there are quite a few children in her class with behavioural issues and no funding for any additional help. The constant noise, the fact that she’s not really learning anything new and also her sister not attending just makes her hate it all. She’s only 7 but there’s kids in her class who throw furniture and nothing is ever really done to address the issues. The teachers all seem to really care but they just don’t have the resources to teach effectively.

The problems are not pay related in my experience. Shit behaviour, rough angry parents, weak and feeble SLT, ridiculous workload and constant wearing pressure are FAR bigger issues. You can pay teachers more but that will not solve these problems.

Many teachers have similar stories. Here are mine:

Repeatedly threatened by adult sized males because they weren’t happy with their grades, or because I told their parents the truth about their lack of effort and they got grounded.

Attacked by an adult sized male, thankfully two decent kids dragged him outside. The school refused to remove him from my class until I literally handed in my resignation and they were faced with having no teacher right before the A levels.

Threatened with a knife, again by an adult sized male, who was not expelled.

Threatened with rape by an adult sized male, he said he’d wait in the car park and attack me. I had to stop teaching my BTEC catch up class after school because of the risk to me as a lone worker. He was removed from my class but not expelled.

Pupils popping pills in my classroom. Pupils high on drugs, drunk, etc. Pupils point blank refusing to work because they didn’t want to be there.

Pupils failed to complete work, I was asked to lie and say I lost it, and give a false grade. Also asked to falsify dates on coursework so pupils who submitted late wouldn’t fail.

Followed by pupils who spotted me out shopping with my elderly mum, we had to hide from them because they wouldn’t leave us alone.

Called pervert and paedo, told I’m too friendly towards teenagers, told I stink and I’m disgusting, asked if I masturbated, told they could smell that I had masturbated that morning.

Filmed talking with a pupil and smiling, put on YouTube with accusations of sexual tension between me and the pupil.

Multiple complaints from pupils and parents because I wouldn’t work additional unpaid hours to support pupils whose teacher was off sick.

That’s before we even discuss the ridiculous workload, low pay, lack of resources to do the job properly, harassment from my boss, the hassle of Ofsted, etc.

I am now an ex teacher. I have a private sector job now, and even a sniff of those offences would have police involvement and the offender would be sacked. Yet schools just let them go?

I'm a retired headteacher and we're a family of teachers. I know that there's a difference in behaviour from when I started teaching 50 years ago. It wasn't unknown then however: in my first year of teaching aged 22, I was physically threatened by a tall 12 yr old (middle school) with a cricket bat. The other boys jumped on him and saved me. A drunk father stormed into a lesson and started shouting that he was "going to put your fucking lights out, you stupid bitch". Over the years I've been told to fuck off by 5 yr olds and every primary school age, including by their parents. These weren't daily or weekly incidents though, which is probably why I remember them. None of it was tolerated by me or my school leaders at the time. It seems to me now, from talking to serving teachers that the frequency and scale of abusive behaviour has escalated, and they are expected to put up with it. I never did but it's so much harder to do that now.

I'd say the problem comes from the parents' poor attitudes, lack of parenting skills and lack of respect for teachers. This can be hugely compounded by weak leadership, which doesn't support teachers, doesn't uphold standards and/or doesn't take swift and effective action against the abuse. Schools need a headteacher and senior leaders, backed by governors, who aren't afraid to tackle abusive behaviour and refuse to tolerate it, whether it's from children or parents. This also requires ministerial support, which I'm told is currently not there.

Worked in education over 10 years ago with the goal of becoming a teacher. Ran a mile. It was the most miserable 2 years of my life. Absolutely no support, the schools were basically disintegrating even then, no money for anything. I know for a fact it has got significantly worse in the intervening years. I know lots of teachers in their 30s who absolutely hate their jobs and desperately want out.

Personally I dont think think behavior 30/40 years ago was better particularly. I can remember lots of bad behavior and I went to a strict faith school!
But my view is what was different was the expectations on teachers There was no ofsted and to be honest if you had crap behavior and kids didn’t learn well ce la vie. I remember teachers sitting ignoring us for a full hour whilst we messed about!
Also SEN on the more severe or behavioral end wasnt seen as those kids went to SEN schools where I assume their needs could be more appropriately met. I can remember wondering where x,y and Z child had disappeared’ to when I arrived at secondary- answer was- to special needs schools. It must be exceptionally challenging for teacher to try to ‘meet the needs’ of so many challenged students and all the while have Ofsted, SLT snd expectations of exam results looming large.
Corporal punishment was also a thing back then (70’s/80’s). Kids behaved not because they were better parented but because they were scared!
Some parents are crap no doubt but others, like myself are frustrated and sad as their children are struggling and the school environment is actively damaging.

@Blimpton that sounds horrendous. Are there targets related to expulsion? I can't understand the reluctance if it isn't related to some performance measure. Obviously not ok teaching in that situation.

I’m sorry to read what’s been going on. I just find the complete and utter lack of any respect or care for authority including teachers appalling.

And this is why the general public will never properly understand what teaching is like. ‘Most teachers enjoy the holidays too much’. Lazy lazy thinking.

I’m sorry (but not surprised) to hear the conditions & environment in some schools for staff. I understand it has a cumulative adverse effect upon teachers wellbeing and mental health. I hope your husband makes a recovery and wish him well going forward

Teachers do a remarkable job and I’m grateful for what they do

Because critics look closely at how they get good results for those kids.

These threads fill me with dread. I am not deluded and have high expectations of my son regards politeness, being respectful and so on. As parents, we are on this.

But, he is Autistic/ ADHD. Very intelligent yet cannot help fidget, make noises. He would never do well in a ' special ' school, yet the only option is mainstream. He is gentle and kind but the above would be seen as distractions. I've heard stories of kids with additional needs being so overwhelmed they just explode! There will be a proportion of kids like these that might be lumped in as part of the problem. There is zero resource and trying to get what little there is to support these extra needs is stressful beyond words. Discipline won't solve this element of things.

But this generation of parents (not all of them) would not long ago have been little darlings who could do no wrong whilst being little barstards as well.
It’s multi generational.
I will say though that living in an increasing multicultural area is improving matters.The local primary in the middle of a council estate used to have a shocking reputation when the area was largely white make of that what you will.

That is horrendous.

I feel very sorry for your Dh 🙁 However, having worked in multiple schools, done supply in primary and secondary, I would definitely say it’s the school that counts. Also, some people-and I don’t mean this rudely-just have the wrong personality for teaching. My Dh works in emergency services and says he wouldn’t be able to be a teacher. Equally, I couldn’t do his job.

I left a school due to the appalling behaviour and lack of consequences for that behaviour-got told to fuck off bitch by multiple kids in one group, there was graffiti all over the place, one student threw a table down the stairs.

I honestly think your Dh might flourish in a different school, but obviously competition can be keen for posts in good schools and OFSTED is zero indication of how decent a school is, the one I left got a ‘good’ which made us all scratch our heads! I hope he finds something lovely, whether in teaching or otherwise. I know that feeling of losing confidence.

They are just very reluctant to expel. Offenders are seen as “children” who can’t be penalised for their actions, even when they’re adult sized and are committing adult crimes. They’re also seen as being entitled to an education - they can’t just be kicked out. The kids know the school has no power and they can get away with doing and saying whatever they want.

I agree to an extent but there is also a widespread problem of schools not having the time/resources/understanding to support families unless it’s a very extreme situation. My DS is nearly 6 and still cries every day going to school. as in sobs and has to be wrestled off us. It’s exhausting and I don’t know why he does it, despite interrogating him, and it makes us all miserable.

By all accounts he is well behaved, a little cheeky at times and we have always instilled respect towards other people.

I have tried to speak to the pastoral assistant about it for the last term. She phoned me once and fobbed me off with “we aren’t concerned about his behaviour” and never phoned back. I leave plenty of messages but she never gets back. His teacher has admitted she doesn’t know what to do about it, and that she doesn’t see him at lunch so doesn’t really know what his friendships are like outside of his class table (they have 2.5 reception classes that play together at lunch so I was worried about potential issues with another child?) They basically said it needs to be worse for them to look into it any more.

At home we have tried reward charts, treats after school, drawing hearts. We can’t afford a private child therapist if it got to that.

I would argue that it’s disruptive for the other children and nothing has been looked at despite us asking for help repeatedly. It does make me feel like if they can’t help with that, what about something a lot more serious?

Too expensive apparently

From what my children tell me of their experiences in secondary school, sadly this seems to be the norm now. I’m sorry your husband has had to experience this. I was a teacher too for 16 years but I can’t face going back into a school environment again. I was fortunate in that the headteacher of the school I worked at always supported the staff, but the behaviour of children generally got worse as the years went by.