To think droves of teachers will make the decision by husband made today- to leave

[Peakyshelby]

Well after 6 years of teaching my husband has broken down, gone to the doctors, been signed off and says he is done.

he has done 3 years in 2 schools and then done supply for 3 years. There is too much to list but the highlights have been

been told to go and fuck himself and other insults thrown at him by kids with hardly any consequences from parents and schools

having stuff chucked at him

having to appear as a witness in court when a parent beat up his own child at home time in the playground

having parents create a smear group on WhatsApp against him and 2 other newly qualified teachers because the parents said there little darlings behaviour must be down to inexperienced teachers not being able to handle them.

having parents laugh and him and tell him he is picking on their little darlings by trying to sanction them.

have children laughing at him and saying my mum and dad don’t care what I do

hardly any support from above.

There is too much more to write but today he had a 10 year old child walk up to him and pour a water bottle over his head.

he is done. He qualified with a group of 10 others and 8 of them have since quit. 2 did not get through there NQT year.

He says the system is broken

Sorry to hear this @Peakyshelby

I think quite a few of those parents post here on MN - there is such special pleading for badly-behaved and badly raised DC every day on MN.

I’m sure your DH will thrive in a new career - teachers are amazingly multi-skilled, organised and excellent communicators. Skills highly in demand.

You couldn't pay me any amount of money to go back. £1m wouldn't be enough.

Couldn't agree more. How on earth one of the ideas being bandied about was to entice retired teachers back into the classroom is beyond comprehensions.

No amount of money can make being sworn at, having stuff thrown at you and an endless workload worth it.

It's not tolerated for any other professional. If I walked into my GP surgery, got lairy, punched the dragon Receptionist lady (which, in truth, I would quite like to as she's driving me nuts right now) I'd be banned from the practise immediately. No-one would ask if Ms Dragon could have avoided it by not repeatedly losing my paperwork and then telling me my expectations of them looking after it were unreasonable. No-one would suggest that the surgery should have de-escalated the problem beforehand and put in place some therapy for me to help deal with my big feelings.

Same for a lawyers office- and it would apply if you brought your child with you and they caused chaos exactly the same as it would apply to you as an adult.

The fact that teachers are no only expected to tolerate it but also victim-blamed for it happening in the first place is absurd.

Thank you for saying this. I think I've said upthread that I only do a teeny bit of supply these days.

At my last school, the headteacher told me to expect to be sworn at. This was before I'd even set foot in a class. Can you imagine if any other profession was told to expect that?

How do we solve it? That's the question.

I type from hospital waiting for an X ray after my child was pushed over in class this morning and hurt his arm.

We need to get away from the “all behaviour is communication” schtick.

Perhaps it is, but it’s more important to protect all of our pupils. If that means setting an example and inconveniencing the parents of miscreants by excluding their violent children, then so be it.

@MrsSunshine2b thank you for saying exactly what all my colleagues have been saying for the past few years.

I don't subscribe to the "Every behaviour is a communication" stuff either. Kids know that there is very little that can be done about their behaviour and behave accordingly. We actually had a parent berate a PSA outside the church after a service because she moved him for playing up and that "showed him up in front of the whole village" Well if he hadn't been a little shit, that wouldn't have happened.
Our HT was punched in the face by a pupil. Once she got back from A and E and called the parents in, they told her that she hadn't met his needs.

I don't think there is any other job that has to put up with so much shit from all sides as teaching. No amount of money is worth that.

Sure, all behaviour is communication. Sometimes they are communicating that they have no respect for anyone and need to be taken down several pegs. And ND isn't an excuse to be awful to people around you either. I said what I said.

@MrsSunshine2b

Yes I see what you mean. The only time I've heard it used unfortunately is to condone or excuse awful disrespectful behaviour.

I just want to say a huge thank you to all the teachers on here. I teach undergrads & I couldn't deal with the rubbish you have to put up with.

Some parents need to - well, not have become parents, clearly.

Yup.

Some years ago, we had a situation where a child's appalling behaviour was supposedly because he was ND.

He refused to cooperate with staff. Threw tantrums. (No, they weren't ND meltdowns. Within context, these were quite different.)

This was secondary school. His parent had given him a mobile gaming consul "to allow him to regulate himself." (No, I've no idea what kind it was. Looked like a tablet held horizontally to me, but apparently a bit more complex than that.) Of course, he only wanted to game instead of dong any work and the damned thing was never on silent.

He was (and I suspect still is) a danger. One time - in another department - he picked up a tool and held it to a girl's throat. His parent was spoken to. That was it.

He'll be 19 now. I keep expecting to see his name in the papers.

I would have that rule - for normally developed children, obv. Children with SEN who are unable to meet this criteria (that will not be all of them by any means) would be excused - but they will need a special environment anyway. The closure of SEN provision and the inclusion in mainstream schools of children unable to cope might have saved money but it has wasted lives, of both SEN and other children.

Agreed, it's not in anyone's interest for a child with developmental delays so severe that potty training by aged 5 is not possible to be in a mainstream classroom.

The teacher suffers because they are expected to be doing personal care tasks which they are neither qualified for not interested in doing.

The child in question suffers because they cannot keep up with the curriculum or expectations of their peers.

The other children suffer because a huge proportion of the adult time and money invested into their classroom is going to be taken up by the needs of that child.

The only winner in that situation is the stretched budget of the DFE not having to pay out for a special school place. And parents of children who are perfectly capable of potty training but could not be bothered.

My eldest son is a SEN (Tsa 14 y old). He rarely misbehaves on purpose but can act "weird" making sounds, moving around etc and if others are misbehaving he will laugh out loud. He always have an assistant with him so if he's too excited she'll take him outside for a while. Some teachers "get" him and are kind and understanding (with firm boundaries ofcourse) and he thrives with them. Some teachers are condescendant and asks why he's there or just tell him harshly to stop fidgeting which stresses him even more and makes him fidget more so he always goes out during their lessons.
Guess I just wanted to make a point that yes, some pupils are hard to deal with, but some teachers are hard to deal with as well. Teaching youngsters has to be more than just transmission of knowledge; if you LIKE your students they will feel it and thrive.

Obviously there are exceptions: some deprived children will need so much more than a teacher can/should give. I was referring to children who have a stable home environment and not too heavy SEN/ mental health needs.

But teaching is mostly about the transmission of knowledge. I am sorry your DS has problems with some insensitive teachers and glad that some 'get' him and that he has the ability to leave if he needs to.

You are quite right. I worked in offices, and we were told that if any client got angry/abusive we were to call for a manager/boss, we were not expected to deal with it.

Yet teachers are apparently not only expected to take abuse, and even violence, and turn a blind eye as well. It's disgraceful.

I think we can blame Rousseau and his teaching that the only source of knowledge and goodness was the self and that institutions that got in the way of natural self-expression ought to be destroyed (sorry, very potted).

Obviously the teachers should cater to your child's needs as much as possible. But I'm sure that you can imagine that even with the best will in the world, doing so while dealing with a whole class full of other children with their own needs, some of them behaving badly, day in day out is pretty difficult.

Yeah it’s so tough.
I’m a teacher and will be honest and say behaviour is not as bad as that at my school, however I have been at schools like that in the past, and know others who have. I have friends who work in schools that are nowhere near as bad as that. It just depends on the school, so much.
its not right, but I do believe supply staff are treated with way less respect. I did supply myself when I first started out, and the children were awful to me, but not like that with other teachers in the school. I wonder is it worth him applying for a permanent role somewhere again, and giving it one more shot in a fixed position, in hopefully a nicer school? And then if that doesn’t work out, I absolutely wouldn’t blame him for looking elsewhere.

DD1 is a NQT having just passed her PGDE.
In her first placement she never met the HT. The support she got from her mentor was awful and her mentor actually suggested that she should quit. Fortunately that was a short placement and her second placement was very supportive. One of her classmates had his second placement in the school she had been in for her first placement and he also had a terrible time. DD told him to contact the university about it and to offer her name as back-up. The school has a poor reputation for pupil attainment and behaviour and I can see why.
This week she met the department she will do her probationary year with and she feels welcomed and supported by them. Given the job situation in the large city she is in, I am not sure that she will stay in teaching long-term.

I thoroughly agree with your husband and feel really sorry for him. Parents not all do not have any discipline nowadays and I was appalled to read this. The government needs to step in as well as the governing board of the school he left and do something. The besf of luck for the future.

Labour plans to use the money collected from VAT on independent schools to fund more teachers in state schools. This assumes that there are people waiting to be recruited.
Last year government figures showed that the recruitment target for secondary school teachers had been missed by 50%.

Until pupil behaviour improves, in particular in secondary schools, people who would be good teachers will be deterred from applying.

Whenever young people are involved in knife crime or some other offence, there is an immediate call to schools and to the police. Parents’ responsibility for caring for and disciplining their children is overlooked. Parents have ultimate responsibility for their children and this role should be publicly recognised and enforced. When a young person under 18 years appears in court, their parents should be required to attend.

The money it is proposed to raise from VAT on independent schools would be better spent on teaching good parenting skills. And parents, not schools, are responsible for brushing children’s teeth!

Too right where is the support from the governing bodies, government etc. Your husband should never have had to put up with this and I hope the parents are ashamed soon there will no teachers left to teach their litter disrespectful darlings. Good luck hope your husband gets a good job where he is appreciated.

This is disturbing. What ages are these children and what type of schools?
From the comments on here sounds like an wide occurring problem.
If I were your DH I would be planning my move to another career a.s.a.p. No-one should have to put up with that type of behavior.