To wonder if addiction is a choice

[BarbaraAnnee]

I am sorry if this sounds insensitive to some people but I just wondered what people thought of this. A relative of mine is an alcoholic and due to her being unfit, her parents have had to permanently look after her DD. I feel so bad for her and just wondered if she really loved her DD she would just stop drinking?

@Fritatayay what? I never said I would have gone into care. I would have gone to my Dad or my grandparents where I would have 100% been better off. It’s a complex story and I’m not going into it here but essentially it didn’t happen because my Mum refused to let it happen and people around her who felt she was a victim enabled that behaviour from her. Essentially, we were told she would be worse without us kids at home.

@BarbaraAnnee so did you write this thread for any other purpose or just give yourself a huge pat on the back for avoiding taking too many painkillers? Congratulations I guess.

So I guess by that logic you are weaker and more impulsive than someone who is teetotal and has never taken painkillers?
Why do you think you need to drink wine?
What void are you trying to fill?
I just drink orange juice on a night out and I'm much happier and more resilient than you. You must be really unhappy.
Think how much your costing the NHS?
And what about your family, do you think they like seeing you drunk or on pills? How do they feel?

See how shit that feels? Now imagine that times ten, multiple times a week. Would you be in the right mental state to get help?

No I dont agree. Moderation is key and I can moderate. It is a choice to destroy your life and I would accept full responsibility for the damage caused.

@AlbertVille whatever 🙄

From my point of view you are trying to justify it.

So I guess by that logic you are weaker and more impulsive than someone who is teetotal and has never taken painkillers?
Why do you think you need to drink wine?
What void are you trying to fill?
I just drink orange juice on a night out and I'm much happier and more resilient than you. You must be really unhappy.
Think how much your costing the NHS?
And what about your family, do you think they like seeing you drunk or on pills? How do they feel?

I could easily NEED to drink wine but I dont. I absolutely love it and know the damage I could cause if I became an alcoholic so I dont!

@YoghurtPotWashingMachine Thank you for your support. I don't know why he decided to pick on me. However, I can guess

Such a shame this thread has turned so nasty and judgemental.

I dont think it has, people have just become defensive because they cannot accept responsibility for their poor choices.

Agreed. Being judgemental must be a hard habit to give up.

Really? You yourself admit you have absolutely no knowledge of addiction. And when people have tried to explain it, your response is so say that they obviously just aren’t as disciplined and strong as you?

either you are being purposely goads or just inherently dim. Which one is it?

you asked for views and opinions on addiction and have instead decided to double down and start insulting people.

Ok, I am guessing you like chocolate/sweets etc. You dont eat them until you are unwell because you know its bad for you?

How do you know I don’t?

would you say someone with an eating disorder was choosing to make themselves sick?

No I am trying to understand it, I have said that from the beginning. I can see how you can become addicted things that take emotional pain away. People go through so much, child abuse, rape, awful things, it isnt a one way ticket to a crack den

My DM is an alcoholic. She was raped by her father almost daily from the age of 3-13, until he was sent to prison and she was put in a catholic laundry/children’s home. By the time she left at 16 she was mentally destroyed. She started drinking to medicate herself from the unbearable mental agony she was in, not for “fun”. It’s fucking highly insulting to hear you say these reasons are a “cop out”.

@BarbaraAnnee you've not answered my original question. Why is addiction not classed as self harm, and why do you presumably have compassion for self harmers who cut themselves but less for someone who is drinking ten units a day?

Actually, I don't like chocolate or sweets. Some people do, they love them so much they eat too much and end up in an early grave. Oh I know, let's mock them for their lack of willpower.

Self harm. eating disorders differ in a way to drugs because I think its the only way that person can feel in control of what they are experiencing.

I have had some major trauma in my life (I do not want sympathy). this all came to light after I had my second baby, I wanted to die, literally. I called my health visitor as I was struggling so much and rang the crisis team almost daily to help get me through., I could have turned to drink/drugs, it would have been a hell of a lot easier than working through the absolute emotional agony I was in.

There is far more support for people who overeat than there is for addicts of substances. And yet we as a nation is more obese than ever.
So if you use the 'it's just willpower and self control' argument for obesity, why is it that all of these people just suddenly lost the ability to control their eating, compared to generations before. And why are some countries not affected as much?
Or could it be that obesity and addiction are symptoms of a general unhappiness which is apparent in all walks of life in British society. We are working too hard or we aren't feeling recognised or heard by our politicians. There's no sense of community and we are on our knees financially. That can be seen through the levels of that obesity and addiction.
In basic terms, we are eating and using because we are unhappy, it is not the cause.

It really is quite offensive this idea that everyone has experienced trauma so sort yourself out. Bit of a difference between being abused and your parents not buying you a pony. Some people have no idea. Counselling can't fix everything. If only it was that easy.

@BarbaraAnnee I am in no way minimising your trauma and that sounds horrific but the care you received from mental health services due to being a mum to a baby is quite different to what a middle aged man who has been an addict for 30 years, street homeless, no family, quite difficult to get on with, will receive.

You have no idea what anybody has been through that you meet. Even people with a privileged childhood will have experienced some sort of trauma in their life unrelated to family life. Decisions etc that people have to, it is offensive that you would presume the people that are not addicts only had to deal with the fact their parents or whoever didnt buy them a pony.

The help didnt come to me, I begged and begged.

Not to make a joke about a serious subject but I read this as 'To wonder if abduction is a choice' 🤣🤣🤣