.. in finding Fathers’ Day a little bit naff?

[iCod]

Yeah, so dads are great, loving your dad is great, giving your dad a present is great, but the whole concept of Father’s Day for me is a bit like baby showers - that’s to say a modern invention that doesn’t quite sit right with me.

I don’t do it - dad’s dead now anyway - but we even now don’t give gifts and giant chocolate bars saying DAD.

are you a Father’s Day late adopter ? Or a refusenik? A Marshall Pétain standing firm against a Father’s Day onslaught?

To be honest, I am never going to not do something because it's 'naff' anyway. I don't really give a shit about naffness.

I don't subscribe to it either usually however this year I happen to be in the location where both my parents are buried therefore I went and placed flowers and must admit I shed a tear . My Dad died almost 4 decades ago when I was very young and I thought it quite fitting I am.here. though it wasn't planned to coincide with father's day. I would have felt the same on any other day to be fair.

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Ah it's nice to have specisl days to celebrate people, don't be so curmudgeonly

Agree. My parents never engaged with this stuff when I was a child and I don’t ask my own children to either. Eventually it will morph into special food, special decorations, particular expectations from other people being the driver. All marketing and trash for one day.

We got DH a carrot cake, had lunch at a place of his choosing and Dd made him a card. Not too much fuss, probably less than he deserves tbh. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to sit down once a year and have a think about what you love about your dad and put it in a card.

My own dad was shite so I think it’s nice to encourage Dd to reflect on their relationship once in a while.

It was definitely celebrated in the 80s as I was born on Father's Day in 1980 and remember family going on about it!

My dad has cancer and I love celebrating him - he is a wonderful man. We always celebrated it. And DH is a fantastic dad to DS so we celebrate him too

I'm in my 50s and we always recognised father's day. Not a huge fuss, same as for MD. Card (generally hand drawn) and small present. Present was always a "treat", flowers, nice wine, book.

I don't think any 'holiday' that makes people happy is naff.

Not just the recipient, but the people making the effort.

My children absolutely love to make/choose cards for both mothers and Father's Day, choose some sweets and chocolates, take them breakfast in bed etc.

My dad died when I was a child, so the years that I will be involved with the celebrations are limited to when our children are old enough to do it alone.

I will say though....if I have to make my partner one more drink today I may spit in it 🤣🤣

Don't be such a misery

Please tell me you were behind the naked dress and horrible swimming costume post 🎊

So you're ok with Mother's Day but not Father's Day?

Lots of people are ok with Mother's Day and not Father's Day. In many families even now both parents work but mothers do most of the rest.

But if it makes people happy, what’s it to you how they celebrate it? You can opt out.

Then you’re being a bit hypocritical. I think both are a load of old tosh. But my favourite holiday is pancake day so what do I know 😂🤣😂🤣

@iCod It’s a shame you feel this way. My dad died last year, I have found today really sad and I would give anything to have my wonderful dad back - I wish he was here to celebrate today. Luckily I’ve been looking through photos from over the years, many taken on Father’s Day with my dad and sister. But more importantly I have been making nice memories with my son and his dad, so that one day my son will also have memories and photos to remember. Is it commercialised - yes like all holidays and celebrations but all that crap doesn’t have to be bought. My son (2) and I got up, he helped me make breakfast and he loved presenting his dad with breakfast. It was cute and lovely memories for me and dad, and some photos and a video for the future. I wish my dad was here to see my son grow up, he was heartbroken that he wouldn’t get to and I’m still heartbroken too.

I don’t like Father’s Day or Mother’s Day! Find them both commercialised and naff.

I’m not keen on any days “celebrating” a ubiquitous day-to-day role. I think we need to show respect and gratitude for people in these roles all the time, in a dynamic and personal way, not have a single “special” day that tends to fall back on cliche.

Not bothered if people find it naff or not, you'll always find someone with a reason to put it/others down for acknowledging it.
We just do a card and a small gift, and the kids make cards at nursery.

Mumsnet is the home of curmudgeonliness.

As if summer isn't bad enough with it's insufferable warmth, the annoying sound of kids happily playing outside and the horrifying smell of bbq-d UPFs, there's bloody father's day in the middle of it with it's expectation that you might do something nice for a family member. Ugh.

Interested people think it was commonplace in the 70a and 80s.

Interesting use of the words "people think it was commonplace".

Er - it was.
We used to make cards for our Dad in the 1960s. It certainly isn't a recent import from anywhere.

So is Valentine”s Day and any day that is just a marketing ploy.

I agree OP but I accept its because of my own biases, and that not every one has to share my sentiment.

I know very few good dads, never mind exceptional dads worth celebrating. I know more mediocre dads with burnt out wives, and even more shit dads that think they're the bees knees.

I'm not saying that there aren't shit mums, or mediocre mums, but I feel like I'm very aware that in the pool of people I know, if a mum is mediocre it's because she's burnt out from doing it all, and I at least think she deserves some appreciation, but if a dad is mediocre, the bar is already set so low for men and they're still not hitting it.

I was looking round the shops for DS to give his dad a card and saw all these cards that said world's best dad, and happy fathers day hope you have the best day ever, and I couldn't bring myself to buy any of them because it's just a lie isn't it? World's best dad? He's not even the world's most okayest dad.

Everyone has a birthday that's enough.

You have a birthday for that.
How many more made up days do we need.
Your birthday is your special day the day you were born.
Continual.pressure on people to buy cards and gifts with all these made up days.

What's naff is reading everyone's messages about there dad's on Facebook.
The dad is not necessarily on Facebook or even alive but people have to announce it anyway.
They think they are the only ones . Have friends got to find time to go through all the fb dad posts and like them.

I remember the fathers day card activity at school and that was 30 years ago so it was definately a 'thing' back then (I was the only one without a dad). I don't think fathers day was publicised as much as mother's day until recently. The reason is maybe because mothers day is easier to commercialise - chocolate, flowers, perfume and so on.

I dislike both and prefer to make birthday's special - everybody has a birthday so nobody feels excluded.