The difference between cancer life as a royal and as a "lesser mortal"

[sixtyandsomething]

not to derail other threads..

I have nothing against the Princess of Wales, I am sure she is a lovely person and I wish her well. however, let's not pretend she is facing the same struggles as the rest of us.

I bet you £10 she hasn't had to deal with any of these! (feel free to add your own)

-40+ calls to DWP, often being left on hold for 2 hours or more
-many months delay in benefits being processed, leaving you without any income at all
-DWP advising you to "find a food bank"
-struggle up the hill on crutches to get a bus to chemo
-appointments delayed and cancelled, blood tests lost and repeated, regular system "crashes" leaving medical staff with no access to your notes.
-never seeing the same medical professionals twice.
-consultant appointments cancelled when you have already travelled several hours to the hospital
-telephone appointments you have to sit and wait by the phone for, for the whole day
-worry on crammed full bus when you are CEV
-getting off bus because it is too full
-getting of bus because you are vomiting
-sitting on the pavement for 3-4 hours after chemo in the dark and rain, because you are CEV and don't want to get back on a crammed bus in the rush hour
-commuters swearing at you because you move too slowly
-commuter kicking you out of the way because you move to slowly, and doing it with an air of indignation, like they feel seriously injured by having to touch something so disgusting with their foot
-minimum 18 hour wait in A and E before being admitted with infection - once it was 28 hours
-further many hour wait in ER before being admitted to wards.
-spending night on chair in corridor, after being admitted to a ward
-being asked to vacate chair in corridor so doctor can perform ECG on patient who is currently standing up with nowhere to sit
-being warned by hospital staff to sleep in your glasses so they are not stolen
-having to buy a constant stream of new clothes, and having to go to charity shops - on steroids? go up two sizes, no chemo? go down 3- surgery? get front opening everything, in a range of sizes.
-not being able have a clean the house, wash up, open the window even, without calling a friend to come and help.
-council refusing to empty your bins because you are not capable of moving them to the right place at the right time
-giving away your pets because you can't take care of them, or afford them
-being told the waiting list to see a physiotherapist is around a year

I could go on

I am so grateful for the treatment I have had, and I hope the Princess of Wales does well and recovers, but the two situations are not the same, even slightly, even if the disease is.

Amen, @KarenOH

In fairness to her, I think it was nervousness rather than that she was mocking me. All the same, that conversation was a big factor in one of the most stressful experiences of my life.

Completely agree OP. I sincerely hope that the Princess of Wales makes a full recovery, but there is no comparison between her situation and that of the majority of cancer sufferers.
I'm sorry you've had it so hard and wish you all the best.

You’re not unreasonable that your experience sounds awful but also not sure I’d call it typical?! We have family member who has had several cancer diagnosis in the last few years and 100% she has experienced none of what you describe. It sounds like you don’t have a lot of resources or a strong family/support network which must be incredibly hard.

What you describe certainly would not be my experience if I was going through it.

What you describe certainly would not be my experience if I was going through it.

This comment is hilarious on so many levels.

I'm with you OP. I have a friend undergoing cancer treatment with the NHS (diagnosed around the same time as HRH). We don't know whether private health care would have got his diagnosis quicker, tests and scans carried out promptly instead of weeks of delays. Or whether that would have meant his treatment started sooner. Or prevented various infections and hospital readmissions and treatment cancellations. And whether that might have prevented the spread which now means treatment is not going to be effective. Maybe money would have made no difference but we aren't confident he has had the best care possible whereas it's obvious Kate has. That's not her fault but the unfairness makes me angry. His family are scrabbling around, trying to work and support him and do all the day to day stuff that just has to be done. I can't imagine how much worse that would be without people to help. It's clear that having a chauffeur drive you to appointments is better than family fighting through rush hour and wondering where they will park and that's better than relying on public transport.

Well at least some posters haven't completely missed your entire point OP 🤨 of course she is a mother with young children and it must be a very scary thing to be facing and nobody is saying any different but the fact is that she doesn't have to worry about all the things the OP has to deal with. Nobody is saying her cancer journey is bloody easy but it's stupid to suggest she hasn't got it easier than most

She probably wants the average person to be able to get the preventative treatment also. This doesn't generally happen. You get told " come back in a year'

She has cancer. She is having what’s known as adjuvant chemotherapy, aka ‘mop-up chemo’. You have that when a tumour has been removed but it is possible that even one stray cancer cell might have ventured further into your system (which is almost always tbh).

In a nutshell, for cancer they will go for surgical removal whenever possible and then follow up with chemo. For some people surgery isn’t possible and then the chemotherapy isn’t referred to as “preventative”.

I’m so sorry reading your post op, I could cry thinking of the horrible way you have been treated and I don’t even know you. I have just finished preventative treatment for colon cancer and they have discovered another primary mass in my thymus, which is treatable.
Im in Scotland and my care has been excellent, everything has slotted into place. I did have to wait 8 weeks on ct results for my chest scan, which was a long wait. I don’t know why.
Colon tumor discovered on the Friday and operation Saturday night. Care after excellent.

@Shityshitybangbang I’m glad to hear that your treatment has been so good ❤️

I don’t understand how your tumour could have been discovered on a Friday and operated on the next day. Did they not need to have an MDM?

Îve had cancer twice in France. I didn’t go through any of that thank goodness. My full salary was maintained and on top of that I was given tax relief. The private health insurance everyone has in France paid for a weekly cleaner. Transport to hospital paid if I wanted it. Nurse visits at home for bloods or anything medical I needed . I am so so sorry you had to go through all of that and it’s a shocking state of affairs in an affluent country that it should be like this. I hope the next government will bring in change.I hope you are better now.
I think the fear and anxiety that the Princess of Wales will have gone through will be the same as all cancer patients and my heart goes out to her as a young woman and mum. I wish you and her well.

She’s got it easier than you, and you’ve got it easier than others, not least many of those suffering from cancer in the developing world with no access to any treatment. There is no benefit to anyone in making these comparisons.

Utter bs. She is having it easier. It may well still be shit but it’s much better than most.

Yes she is- but honestly, I find you reply truly callous and nasty. I am amazed you can't, or rather, won't, see the difference.

Have you read what the OP has had to go through?

Sixtyandsomething, I take my hat and heart to you and hope things will get easier from now on.

The die-hard genuflectors just cant help themselves can they!

I am so sorry you are going through this battle OP.
is there actual news paper articles calling cancer sufferers “lesser mortals” I haven’t seen any.
You are right, I bet HRH has not had to endure the list of challenges you have mentioned however I do think everyone’s battle and diagnoses is different, she will have had challenges that you may not understand or can relate to you, I’m not saying they are more difficult than yours but challenges she has struggled with all the same.
HRH isn’t the only one who won’t have the struggles you have mentioned, just the same as you won’t have the struggles some others battling cancer may have but that doesn’t mean your battle is any less and neither is hers
I wish you peace, healing and positive thoughts as you navigate your way through your journey

My dad was admitted to hospital via A&E. Symptoms warranted a CT scan. Cancerous tumour discovered and was in surgery within a few hours. It does happen.

YANBU. So many of those things shouldn"t be happening, in particular cancelled treatment and benefits fuck ups.

You're completely missing the point that this is prompted by stupid Allison Pearson simpering in the Telegraph about how wonderfully the Princess of Wales is coping compared with "lesser mortals". That sort of crass nonsense helps no-one.

Of course she has it easier. Not psychologically or on a human level BUT IN EVERY OTHER PRACTICAL SENSE POSSIBLE.

Anyone who can't appreciate this is a cap-doffing Royalist idiot.

There is a benefit to pointing out the ridiculously over the top prose the papers are pushing out which make it harder for both other cancer patients who feel pained by the comparison, but it also makes it harder for Kate, she’s got to be the perfect model of a woman dealing with a serious illness and the papers will be scrutinizing every inch of her on every outing so they can write the next piece which is ‘she’s looking tired, she’s looking radiant, she’s looking ill and thin, she’s put weight on - is she on steroids’, etc etc

There’s two different issues here -

Health inequality in a country like the UK - whether through post code lottery or those who can afford to go private, those who can afford to make life easier through illness.

and

A media industry which seems to be lost to commercialism so that celebrity worship of a royal is preferred coverage than reporting on the first issue above.

The benefit to acknowledging both these issues is the first step to working on changing things.

Correct. I don't believe her status will make the least difference to the eventual outcome.

Good thought provoking post

Sadly, a columnist in the Telegraph, lauding the Princess of Wales for attending The Trooping of the Colour, referred to "lesser mortals with her illness"!