The difference between cancer life as a royal and as a "lesser mortal"

[sixtyandsomething]

not to derail other threads..

I have nothing against the Princess of Wales, I am sure she is a lovely person and I wish her well. however, let's not pretend she is facing the same struggles as the rest of us.

I bet you £10 she hasn't had to deal with any of these! (feel free to add your own)

-40+ calls to DWP, often being left on hold for 2 hours or more
-many months delay in benefits being processed, leaving you without any income at all
-DWP advising you to "find a food bank"
-struggle up the hill on crutches to get a bus to chemo
-appointments delayed and cancelled, blood tests lost and repeated, regular system "crashes" leaving medical staff with no access to your notes.
-never seeing the same medical professionals twice.
-consultant appointments cancelled when you have already travelled several hours to the hospital
-telephone appointments you have to sit and wait by the phone for, for the whole day
-worry on crammed full bus when you are CEV
-getting off bus because it is too full
-getting of bus because you are vomiting
-sitting on the pavement for 3-4 hours after chemo in the dark and rain, because you are CEV and don't want to get back on a crammed bus in the rush hour
-commuters swearing at you because you move too slowly
-commuter kicking you out of the way because you move to slowly, and doing it with an air of indignation, like they feel seriously injured by having to touch something so disgusting with their foot
-minimum 18 hour wait in A and E before being admitted with infection - once it was 28 hours
-further many hour wait in ER before being admitted to wards.
-spending night on chair in corridor, after being admitted to a ward
-being asked to vacate chair in corridor so doctor can perform ECG on patient who is currently standing up with nowhere to sit
-being warned by hospital staff to sleep in your glasses so they are not stolen
-having to buy a constant stream of new clothes, and having to go to charity shops - on steroids? go up two sizes, no chemo? go down 3- surgery? get front opening everything, in a range of sizes.
-not being able have a clean the house, wash up, open the window even, without calling a friend to come and help.
-council refusing to empty your bins because you are not capable of moving them to the right place at the right time
-giving away your pets because you can't take care of them, or afford them
-being told the waiting list to see a physiotherapist is around a year

I could go on

I am so grateful for the treatment I have had, and I hope the Princess of Wales does well and recovers, but the two situations are not the same, even slightly, even if the disease is.

It is intensely annoying but I would say it positively cruel to all the people who are not 'fighting' and 'beating' and 'brave'. How horrible to tell a dying or sick person that it is their own fault.

@rainingsnoring I think the sycophantic coverage must put pressure on her. You don’t have to disagree though.

Not to be difficult but the King hasn’t said what type of cancer he has.

I wish your father all the very best, genuinely.

I agree, she was very clear that it’s preventative. But cancer is a scary thing to b diagnosed with and chemotherapy makes you feel weak and sick and in pain. That experience is pretty much identical whoever you are. She’s also been very careful not to be ‘woe is me’ and not to seek attention. She knows she is lucky to enjoy advantages that others don’t have, so I’m not sure what the point of bashing her is. What’s more pertinent is that our NHS has been reduced to the state the OP describes. The OP should not have appointments cancelled etc. That said, we should be proud to live in a country with universal healthcare and a welfare safety net, even if the user-interface (for want of a better word) leaves a lot to be desired.

one gobshite journalist has said it.

Agreed.

so I’m not sure what the point of bashing her is

Who is bashing her?

Perhaps but that was not the point I was making.

Of course she has it easier. She can rest up after each chemo session, unlike the mother who has to haul her tired body out of bed to take care of the kids because her DH is working to keep a roof over their heads because she can't work.

The royals are living in a time where they can't rely on the Devine right of kings and have to be relatable to those who pay taxes to allow them to continue to occupy those roles. Increased access to details of their lives is part of it. But you can't have it one way.

They play the game with rewearing of clothes & cheap flights but do people actually think they are like us? 😆

Agree the increased access makes things more complicated.

Maybe they are receiving precancerous treatment not available to the rest of us but want to be treated as full cancer patients who are doing cancer well.

Does Kate have cancer or is it preventative chemo?

It was ludicrous wasn't it. I guess Pearson is playing to her audience of right wing retirees.

You are having a horrid time and I wish you well.

I had cancer; surgery, chemo, blood clots, infections the lot but I didn’t have many of the struggles you are having because my home life situation is obviously different to yours. So I had it much easier than you too. Should I feel bad about that? Is that wrong? But going through cancer was shit, absolute bloody torture.

The thing is though I just feel real sadness for the PoW and her family. I don’t consider myself a lesser mortal. If that’s what some reporter wants to call us then that’s just their personal perspective - it’s not truth or fact.

Life isn’t fair, we can’t all live a 5 star life.

@rainingsnoring I agreed with your post and added my own comment, that’s allowed on MNs? Not sure why it’s caused such an issue…

I'm stage4 cancer. I know it's gonna come back and bite me sonetime. I've had aggressive breast cancer and ovarian cancer.
I've been treated to chemotherapy and radiotherapy.
I wish Catherine all the best, I truly do. BUT its not the same, its just not.
I got stopped by the police for driving to.my radiotherapy appointment without road tax.

I'd forgotten, amongst driving 54 miles round journey everyday. I'm lucky they did not prosecute. But uf they had, I had fuck all money to give them.

I immediately remedied the situation, getting my road tax, but lived on air for the rest if the month, luckily I had no appetite.

That's the difference.

It is very dependent on the cancer you have.

My mum also had fantastic NHS treatment which bought her another 25 years of good health with us.

But she only had it because my dad lied to a specialist NHS hospital in London (we are in Glasgow) for her type of cancer and told them a referral letter was on the way. He made and attended an appointment with her before they realised what he had done. The London hospital told him the local hospitals treatment plan (low dose chemo in tablet form) would have closed off other treatments for her and she would have had a <10% 2 year survival rate.

Not something "you are not alone" very privileged royals are facing together with fellow cancer sufferers.

I think this is a bit of a mean spirited post.

I'm so sorry you've had cancer. I'm sorry Kate has had/has cancer. I can't imagine the fear of not making it and leaving my child motherless. I wouldn't swap all the money in the world for my health.

I don’t think it’s mean-spirited at all.

The OP was very clear that she wishes nothing but good for Kate.

I had a horrible, painful thoracic surgery for cancer, and the recovery has been gruelling. I’ve been fortunate to be able to afford a cleaner, someone to come in occasionally to iron school uniforms, even had some healthy meals delivered.

It would be ridiculous to suggest that I had it just as tough as the OP.

It’s the old same storm, different boats story.

Oh and also… I CAN imagine that fear. Nice to hear you wouldn’t swap your good health for anything but I think that was quite a mean-spirited comment. Just saying.

You don't have chemotherapy for pre cancer cells. Pre cancerous cells are cells which if left could develop into cancer years down the line.

She had an operation and during that operation cancer was found. So I take it from that that the cancer was removed and she is now having chemo to kill off any stray cancer cells to stop it coming back. This is known as preventative chemo because there is no way of knowing if once a tumour is removed there are any cells that have broken off and travelled elsewhere in the body because they are too small to detect. You have the same chemo whether you are rich or not. Rich people do not get their own "special chemo".

so sorry op but its not her fault blame the government and the system

not fit for purpose

my mum had provate treatment still horrific an she still died

Alison Pearson is a terrible person who writes terrible things in a terrible newspaper. It is absolutely ludicrous that she would say such a tone deaf thing but it's not remotely surprising. Worth keeping in mind that KM didn't make the comment and I am sure would be just as appalled as we are at others living with cancer being described in this way.

My dad has it too They caught it early and he has to have injections at his surgery. Hope your dad recovers well. I recently had to undergo tests for bowel cancer which was negative and now having tests for IBD. In my case its been speedy but that was after changing GP surgeries. At my original one i couldnt even get an appointment.

I wish the PoW all the best and I'm sure that regardless of her status it's been a difficult time for her.

That said there is a significant difference between her experience of cancer and that of the everyday citizen as described by the OP.

As awful as her diagnosis must have been she and her family are in a position to be able to focus on her health without detriment.

In this situation access to wealth and the best healthcare money can buy does make a huge difference.

Removing the stress of work, money worries and being able to afford extensive childcare is a boon that many other people simply don't have.

Knowing the best medical team will be looking after you and access to treatments the NHS might not offer is a privilege many people don't have.

I don't think it's inappropriate to be upset about her being hailed as an icon on how to deal with cancer, while still hoping her treatment is successful.

That is arrant nonsense! And even if I were a Tory voter (I've never voted for them in my entire life), putting the blame on the general electorate is about as huge and disingenuous a copout as I've seen on this site. And that's a tall order.

The NHS is the fifth biggest employer in the entire world. It falls in only behind the US Department of Defense, the Chinese army, MacDonald's, and Walmart. We are a far smaller country of c.70 million people.

I'm no statistitician and my maths are dreadful, but this gives even me an insight into how particular sums don't add up. A free at the point of use health service is completely unsustainable for this population size. Demand will always be infinite, and supply finite. It's amazing medical staff do as good a job as they do with the increasingly crumbling resources and dreadful conditions they have to work under.

What politicians really have to get to grips with is this fact - and it is a fact. They might as well be shovelling money into an incinerator. This would be the case no matter how much money was poured in. Ergo, the system needs reform. But this would mean 'unsocialising' healthcare, and the politicians of this country know fine well it would be political suicide for any party that attempted it. The NHS is a sacred cow; a British institution which must not be criticised. Cf. rainbows on windows and people clapping like performing seals on their doorsteps every Thursday. Perhaps the electorate should look to itself for this? Or consider that they are to blame that in an advanced, developed society, we have a developing-world-level health service?

OP, I'm sorry you are having such a dreadful time. Hideous rags like the Torygraph and its repulsive attitude to anyone but the aristocratic and financial classes don't help. Of course, you're right. The privileged will have an easier time of it, and whilst this has always been true, the figureheads of the Windsors and the fawning media coverage throws it into stark relief and makes it even more hard for those struggling with this relentlessly cruel condition without similar support.

All the more reason, to me, why the monarchy should go. Far from 'bringing people together' as the fawning media like to claim, they merely emphasise division. And support for that institution is falling rapidly. Show me a party that will ditch these pointless figureheads and reform the NHS is some meaningful way, and they'll have my vote. But the 'British Institution' is sacred, and there's a real lack of critical discussion as to why these institutions must never be challenged or questioned.

In which case, I shan't be holding my breath.

Jesus!

Really? I'd say you have no idea . . .