Reception new starters WhatsApp group

[Biscuithoover]

My son is joining reception at primary school this year and the class WhatsApp has already been formed!
The other new parents are introducing themselves on there. My question is, do I just get it out the way and share that my son has a diagnosis of autism now? I feel a bit uncomfortable sharing personal info, but equally I don’t want him to be misunderstood and thought of as the “naughty one” if kids go home and report that he isn’t sitting still/is making funny noises etc, so as much as I feel uncomfortable sharing personal info I also kind of think if he’s going to get labelled as something anyway it might as well be an accurate label?
what would you do? Thanks!

No! You don’t need to say anything. Let the children get to know each other at face value. Keep personal disclosures to a minimum on WhatsApp. I suggest use it for information about inset days and not about your child!

Personally no I wouldn't. There's no need. I hope he gets on well in school!

I wouldn't yet. You don't know if this is a group of genuinely lovely people or a complete nest of vipers. There could be some complete nutters on there.

Not unless you want to. My son is in year 1 and no one officially knows apart from 1 mum I'm close to. It's no one else's business

I would. Why not? You’ll almost definitely find another mum chimes in saying little Jessica or Thomas is also autistic

I have never disclosed my dds asd to more than a chosen few but everyone found put pretty fast anyway.

With knowledge came no better tolerance so I'd not rush into telling people before they know your child

I guess the test for me would you feel comfortable telling them that at a school gates. If yes, crack on. If not, there’s your answer. Personally I wouldn’t myself, keep it for class information rather than personal stuff.

I don't feel like it needs to be said. There are a couple of kids with ASD in DS's class. It became obvious quite quickly and they were just accepted by the kids and parents.

I would go along a theme of (photo of you and your boy)

This is me and Jonathon. Jonny loves riding his bike, going swimming and eating pizza! He’s so excited to start big school. I can’t believe that time has come around already. He is autistic so the change might be a little difficult for him and take him some more time to adapt to. We can’t wait to meet everyone! Has anyone started uniform shopping yet?

Nice and down to earth way of saying it without focusing solely on that x

No I really wouldn’t. Sharing details like this widely is really odd, plus others may be in a similar situation and find themselves uncomfortable if they don’t share either. It’s very young to get this info about your son shared widely.

The message above by strawberry is lovely.

But do whatever you feel comfortable with. Are there any meet up planned over the summer so they get to know each other before starting? If yes, you could drop it into conversation when you meet up after gauging which parents you feel more comfortable talking with.

My daughter has 3 children with additional needs in her class, and they are all very much looked after by their classmates.

I don’t think you need to say anything yet if at all. My children’s primary school has a parents WhatsApp group for children with SEN so you could ask if there is anything like that and not give further information at this point.

My advice is just to stay away from the school WhatsApp regardless. Especially at that age. You won't miss anything. Awful place you'll waste hours and days of your time on there

I’m not sure, parents may be judgemental anyway. My primary kids seem to know which children are autistic and have on occasion said ‘X did this today but it’s because he’s autistic and thinks differently’. I think the school encourages openness amongst the children and as they are usually without prejudice they are very understanding and supportive of the other children with sen. Maybe let the teachers know they can be open about it with the rest of the class if necessary as that is what will make your child’s life better at school, telling the other parents won’t.

I wouldn't. I don't think it's the place for that. Why not see who he makes friends with first and then maybe speak to the parents?

Its completely up to you although tbh, if you have already got a diagnosis by age 4 people may guess he's got additional needs pretty fast.

My DS is autistic. I didn’t announce it like that, but I was quite open with parents I already knew (I had an older DD in school already) and when chatting with parents at class parties early on. I wanted parents to know so that if their child came home and said DS was naughty they would hopefully explain he wasn’t.

I haven’t regretted being so open, he’s been included in more parties and things than I think he would have been, and it’s allowed me to befriend a mum whose son is also autistic and very similar to DS! And when people know they will talk to you about it and be kind, whereas otherwise people at every British and pretend it’s a big surprise when you tell them he’s autistic!

Unless the WhatsApp is supported by the school it will quickly become a breeding ground for mis-information.

Ours is literally just the odd comment about dates for school events or asking if anyone wants to donate to a group present for teachers/TAs. I've honestly never seen a negative comment on it.

I don’t think you need to unless you want to. There’s a girl in my daughters class who I assume has some additional needs. If my daughter ever mentions she did something which she thinks is odd/naughty/different I just explain we are all different, learn differently, are learning how to behave and so on. I don’t need to be told what her diagnosis is to be empathetic.

I wouldn’t and I wouldn’t post a mini bio of myself and DC like PP suggested. Our ones have been just “hi I’m x, y’s mum” and evolved to reminders about school stuff/suggestions for good stuff going on locally.
once you see people more often it’s natural to chat more about DC but in my experience the class WhatsApp is quite surface level (in a positive, helpful way).

I have two kids in primary and two WhatsApp groups. They are very different groups, but in neither one would this be a good medium to share the information you're talking about. I would share on an ad hoc basis when he starts.

No, I wouldn't.

I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t even join a school WhatsApp group anyway. Cliquey, judgey, competitive and just plain annoying. I find them so pointless.

Also, there’s a good change your child won’t be the only one with Autism or SEN. So don’t make a fuss out of it with the other parents. Some will be understanding and educated. Others will not. It’s not worth stressing over.

I wouldn’t as it’ll create barriers before they even starts. Wait until he makes some friends and then tell the parents if you really need to, for play dates for example.