To have had a private scan on my own?

[FlyingSoap]

I took my mum. The idea was that we’d get a nice picture and it would be personalised onto a mug for DH’s Father’s Day present. He is so happy with the mug and teared up a bit saying it was so special but I could tell (just because I know him, he didn’t say anything) that he was briefly sad when he realised we’d been for another scan and he hadn’t been there. He always promised to be at every appointment and be there for everything. I did do it totally behind his back but it was because I wanted a surprise for him. He’s been to all the others. Was it mean of me? I feel bad, as I’d never thought of it at the time!

YABU - yes it was mean
YANBU - no, nice surprise and no problem if he’s been to every other scan so far

I missed that comment so it doesn’t tell anything, don’t be so ridiculous. They get on really well. This thread has brought some very weird behaviour out in people today

Have people on here never heard of “window to the womb”? Etc

there are plenty of scan places which do exist as a place to celebrate pregnancy and buy souvenirs.

I understand people have been through awful experiences but it’s not reasonable to judge someone who wants to use these places to celebrate a happy time/celebrate Father’s Day before baby is born etc.

this is such a nasty thread! I wouldn’t have planned a scan without DH but I can see why you did.

I don't think it was mean, your intention was a surprise for him. However I can understand why he might have wanted to be there. I bet your mum enjoyed it though.

Private fun scans are not recommended due to safety concerns. My own profession, and seen studies on affects of ultrasound on animals fetuses.

Never have a scan unless medically warranted and carried out by a proper trained medical professional.

Also he will get over it.

Thank you, you’re seemingly the only person on here who has seen that so far! Genuinely so many nasty comments on here which is madness considering I even acknowledged I shouldn’t have done it.

Thank you! She did, she loved it x

Link to the study please? NHS state no risks. You’d have to be scanning for 4 hours to even begin heating anything up

I didn't know fathers day or mother's day gifts from an unborn baby was a thing.

Anything is a thing if you want it to be. We want to celebrate every occasion possible as we feel blessed to be expecting this baby.

Enough now. If you read my previous replies you would see there is no reason to be repeating yourself like you are.

I can't vote for either of those options as I understand you wanting to get a nice keepsake of the scan for your husband as a surprise and think your heart was in the right place, but also that's nothing like as important as actually being there and you said yourself that he was briefly sad when he realised you'd gone without him, even if he was trying to hide it. But it's done now, congratulations on your pregnancy 😊

Thank you! Appreciate the balance of your reply 🥰

Oh ffs! I can't say it's anything I would have done - because I didn't. And I would have a private 🙄 if someone told me in real life but I really can't get my head around the unpleasant comments on here!

He's been to all the 'official' scans, the OP just thought it would be a sweet thing to do.

Sad as it is, it's utterly irrelevant to the OP's experience that some people's 4D scans revealed serious complications.

Pregnancy feels a long time when you're excited to meet your baby. Lots of people do odd little things to mark the experience. Lots of people don't but that's irrelevant too.

OP, welcome to your first experience of not being able to do right for doing wrong as a parent 🤣 The judgement continues 😉.

Thank you! And thanks for the honesty, private eye roll away I’m sure loads would it’s not everyone’s cup of tea to do it! I think this thread has just attracted all the posters who want to have a bash at someone today 😂
like you say though, I’m probably best to get used to it! Luckily I’ve not been offended by anything but it’s really opened my eyes to how nasty some people can be. I’ll always defend others on other threads if I see this sort of thing, there’s no need is there. I suppose it is Saturday and it’s raining…. What did I expect?!

I too am curious to see the evidence of this. Surely these places wouldn’t exist at all if there was any type of danger to the foetus?

Surely other people going to “extra” scans and having complications just means additional scanning can also help/save?

Seriously, OP. It'll be everything now from how you choose to feed your baby (bf or ff; ebf or mixed) to what you wear to their wedding! And, literally, everything in between.

Get used to it 😉

And congratulations 🎊

Again this is my profession so I do know what I am talking about 😶

No affects on humans as it is UNETHICAL to do these studies on pregnant women. What pregnant woman will test this out?? BUT studies on animal fetuses has been available for at least 2 decades!

The exposure needed to cause cell death is only a few minutes not hours!!! My colleauge and close friend did a literature review on all the studies back in 2009!
So again I would never ever tell my patients to have scans unless 100% medically justified. Pre 12 weeks I do not endorse it, only for emergency medical reasons. For fun or reasurance nope. My BIL is also a OBGYN with his own clinic and practices the same. It is a medical diagnostic tool. Not a photo booth.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10001275/

https://pubs.asahq.org/anesthesiology/article/115/5/1109/12838/Potential-Adverse-Ultrasound-related-Biological

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8954895/#sec5-healthcare-10-00423title

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0301562917300522

https://fetalmedicine.org/var/uploads/web/Doppler/Doppler%20Ultrasound%20-%20Safety.pdf

https://acrobat.adobe.com/id/urn:aaid:sc:EU:2e50a6d8-8a6e-46ac-a406-9c8faf6aa6e4

A small rise in temperature can cause cell death when cells are exposed to continuous ultrasound especially at higher frequency i.e 3d Scans people like to do for fun. In animals it has been shown to cause cell death and termination of the featus due to the strength of the ultrasound and how small the cells are that is after a few minutes!
This is covered in training for medical grade staff it is a diagnostic tool not a fun day out at a photo booth. I would never carelry out such a practice nor any of my properly trained colleagues.
Those doing it privately are doing it for money and happily do it without a care.

All the best in your pregnancy.

Why is it that the NHS say they’re fine then? Why are some people scanned weekly or twice weekly on the NHS?

Sad as it is, it's utterly irrelevant to the OP's experience that some people's 4D scans revealed serious complications.

No it isn't. I answered the question asked by op, using insight from my experience:

*Ok to answer your question directly

No yanbu to go for a private scan on your own if you are resilient and prepared to hear bad news and other close family (ie the dad) won't resent you for doing this

Yabu to take your mum in preference of your partner solely to get a cute photo - I think you are missing that these are an add on if all is well, not the primary purpose.*