To think you can't take a chair from someone else's table?

[anyoldamy]

We're on holiday at the moment and there's evening entertainment on so I walked over with the children while H was having a shower and sat down to grab a table.
I sat where there was 4 chairs because we have are a family of 4 dh was on his way and children had got up to go to the stage floor.
A man came up grabbed one of our chairs so I politely said excuse me my husband is sitting there.
He made a joke about H being very small because he couldn't see anyone sitting there.
I then explained H was on his way and would be here shortly but he took the chair and said no love you reserve seats with bums.
Aibu to think I had grabbed a table for 4 because we're a 4 and he should not have taken our other chair?
By the time H has arrived I'd found him another chair but that's not the point he could have done that himself.

Wait till he or someone on his table moves to go to the loo and take the chair back.

I think I would have raised my voice and said out the chair back now, that’s so rude

YANBU He was very rude!

The dc had got up and gone into the stage floor. You don't have to stay sitting all evening do you. Going to the loo for example or approaching a bar or buffet or getting up to dance.

There was only 1 seat being reserved.

@BlueMum16

So you had 3 empty chairs? You can't hold seats all night for the children who are at the stage for the show.
Huh? Of course you can. Are you saying if you get up to dance or go to the loo your chairs are no longer yours?

If there is no one on the chair it’s anyone’s.
I am sick of going places and seeing elderly having to stand whilst people are “ Saving seats “
my sister had to breast feed standing up at a family fair in the park because of a similar situation.
YABU

I would bet everything I own that had it been your husband waiting for you this man wouldn't have dreamt of talking to him like this

Misogynistic prick

Outrageously rude and he wouldn’t have done that if you were a man. I’m fuming for you.

So if you go to the loo or bar to get a drink your chair is up for grabs?

The guy is rude and should not have taken the chair. I found it intimidating how he finds a lone woman and takes the chair regardless of the answer.

I wonder what your DH thought of all this.

This attitude is very irritating, if you want a seat get there early. I grab a table for me and the kids while hubby gets the drinks in, I would be fuming if some entitled prick thought they could take his chair as it was empty!

Of course you would 🙄

@dunkdemunder absolutely, it’s all situational.
if I need a chair and there is one vacant I am going to sit on it.
However, I’m not the type to deliberately prevent a group of people wanting to sit together.
But if my need to sit down out weighs an empty chair… shoot me for it 🤷🏼‍♀️

Yup. That would be me too.

Man was a total dick

it is rude, but at the same time true in the sense of only one person then using the chairs

Everyone does but it doesn't make it right. You often see large family groups taking two tables and eight or more chairs but there's never more than half of them there at any one time. Taking chairs for very small children who are never there is wrong. If they come back they can sit on your knee.

Sometimes it's not about chairs but tables eg a couple have "their table" with four chairs and even if you take chairs there is no table to put them at. In this case it's fine to ask to share their table

It’s not saving three seats, it’s sitting down at a table for four because there are four of you . In this case, two happened to be on the stage and the dh at the toilet - doesn’t mean a chauvinistic sarcastic git can take a seat. I can’t believe anybody would think they could just take a seat like this without common courtesy of asking if it’s free

Very rude indeed! If I needed a seat and some of the chairs weren't occupied, I'd ask the person/people sorting there if anyone was using the seat, and if the answer was yes, I'd not take it. I wonder if he would have done that to a man?! Cheeky bugger!

I've had the same experience. I secured a table for two at a restaurant whilst my heavily pregnant sister went to the ladies. A man came over and asked if I was using the second chair. I said yes but he took the chair anyway. I then asked him why he bothered to ask me and still take the chair anyway. He proceeded to insult me very loudly and told me I could get a chair from another table. Shocking behaviour. His wife then proceeded to verbally abuse me from her table. Shouting that I had no manners. Both oblivious to the irony of the situation. They were an affluent couple in their 40s. They went very quiet when they saw my sister arrive at my table. I secured a second chair. They did not apologise for their rudeness. There are some very entitled rude people in this world.

So when you get up to use the loo or get a drink you’d be happy for someone to steal your chair?!

All this talk of buying drinks and going to the toilet. It's different! The husband wasn't in the venue and it sounds like the man had realised this. I'd happily give over the chair to someone needing to use it right then.

Weirdly at least one poster said as far as they were concerned, an empty chair is up for grabs under any circumstance 😶

Other people gave no idea though whether an empty chair at an otherwise full table is empty because someone went to the loo/bar or has not arrived yet.

It is very strange to just take a chair or to ask and then take it anyway when the other people at the table say it's not free.

You had 3 chairs not being sat on. The man needed a chair. I don't see what the issue is.