To think you can't take a chair from someone else's table?

[anyoldamy]

We're on holiday at the moment and there's evening entertainment on so I walked over with the children while H was having a shower and sat down to grab a table.
I sat where there was 4 chairs because we have are a family of 4 dh was on his way and children had got up to go to the stage floor.
A man came up grabbed one of our chairs so I politely said excuse me my husband is sitting there.
He made a joke about H being very small because he couldn't see anyone sitting there.
I then explained H was on his way and would be here shortly but he took the chair and said no love you reserve seats with bums.
Aibu to think I had grabbed a table for 4 because we're a 4 and he should not have taken our other chair?
By the time H has arrived I'd found him another chair but that's not the point he could have done that himself.

But OP was present. It’s completely different from reserving a sun bed putting your stuff on it and then buggering off.

Ynba- he should have asked in the first place, and left the chair once you told him why he can’t take it.

OP isn’t reserving a seat for her DH though, they’re a party of four, he just isn’t there at that exact second. If he was at the bar or in the loo is his seat up for grabs? Putting your jacket on the seat at 5pm because you might want it at 8 is rude. Taking a table of four for a party of four, one of whom is coming down directly, is normal. If you arrive at a restaurant first for a group meal they don’t sit you at a table for one, then move you to a two when someone else comes, then a three….

you should have told your husband to have a word with him

You should have watched him all night and the minute someone from his table got up to go toilet/dance/get a drink you should have grabbed the chair and said the same. What a dick.

You took a chair, too. You just weren't a dick about it like he was.

Yes provoke an already unreasonable man in front of small children that's a great idea.
Perhaps even wait a bit so he's had a beer or two so he can show his true aggression. That's sets a good example to the kids.

A similar thing happened to me on holiday last year.
I was with my Dsis and DM in the buffet restaurant having dinner; we were at a table for 4 and my Dsis went to get some food, whilst she was gone, this man came over and started to take the chair she had been sitting on and was coming back to. Straight away I said ‘hey, that’s my sister’s chair, don’t you dare take it’ thankfully he stopped and went elsewhere for another chair to sit on at the next table but he sat in such a way it was a struggle for anyone to get in and out and he kept giving me the side eye. Rude arsehole!

I would have been tempted to go and sit at his table every time someone moved from a chair

So you had 3 empty chairs? You can't hold seats all night for the children who are at the stage for the show.

So you had 3 empty chairs? You can't hold seats all night for the children who are at the stage for the show.

But they may have food later and drinks at the table and why shouldn't they have a seat to come back to?

Fine to ask if you can take a chair that looks to be unused.

Not ok to just grab it, and then argue the toss when politely asked not to take it.

What an awful person. Bad mannered, ignorant and misogynistic too. I really wanted the punchline to be that your dh is a scary-looking boxer who went and got his chair back.

Then get a chair then.

He was very rude, you always ask permission before removing a chair from a table that is occupied,

Going by (luckily a very small minority) of MNers' logic, I look forward to picking up chairs from tables whenever needed as soon as someone goes to the toilet or outside to take a call, etc.

In the real word of course YANBU OP, he was extremely rude, it's not acceptable in the slightest.

He sounds like a rude twat to be honest. The vast majority of people would never act like that, I wouldn't give it a seconds thought.

I would have kept my eyes peeled on his chair and as soon as he had got up and gone to the loo or whatever grabbed it. But I have had a life time of this crao and won't take it any more

So you had 3 empty chairs? You can't hold seats all night for the children who are at the stage for the show.

They could be back to have a sip of their drink or a sit down or a massive meltdown etc at any moment. Have you never met a child?

Seriously, I can't believe the people who seem to see the op as entitled for wanting to have all 4 chairs remain at the table for 4 where a family of 4 is sitting for the evening.

I would literally have waited until one of his family got up for the toilet or to go to the bar and taken their seat with the same comment… but I’m that petty.

So you never book a table in a restaurant in advance? Never book tickets for any performance and just turn up on the night in the hope that they'll have some left?

I agree with you when people 'reserve' something hours and hours in advance - like a sun lounger - when they may not even bother using it at all but just want to keep all their options open and just figure that they have a 'right' to it; but gathering what you will need in the near future isn't unreasonable.

If anything, it sounds like the venue may have been to blame for allowing in more people than they can accommodate (or maybe over-selling tickets) - I wonder how that squared with fire regs?!

I agree that he would have been very unlikely to help himself to a chair that he'd been told was reserved if it had been a man telling him - much less patronising him. As PP say, the idea of 'reserving with bums' is very poorly thought-out. Apart from the actual language choice - if you are sitting in a chair, you are not 'reserving' it; you are using it - most people don't remain glued to their chair the entire time in such a context. It's as crazy as claiming that somebody 'isn't eating' their meal every time they put their cutlery down for a few moments, have a drink or reach for the gravy boat.

If he had decided to help himself to a chair that he insisted was 'not being reserved' (in spite of being told to the contrary by others at the table), and then a massive bloke came back from the toilet to it, he might just find himself the recipient of a particularly vigorous swirly barnet-wash!!

By this man’s logic, if someone stood up to clap he would be perfectly entitled to take their chair, since their bum was not in it at the time!

And if there aren't any available?

It really isn't normal to not have enough chairs for everybody allowed into a venue and force them all into playing 'chair timeshare' all evening.

Apart from anything else, in such a case, people will artificially hold on to their seats - make do without going to buy another drink, hold on as long as they possibly can before going to the toilet (or just not need it owing to fewer drinks!)

Worst part of this type of holiday - not enough loungers or chairs, brings out the worst in people! The hotel should provide more.

I would literaly have clung to the chair and made a scene. Management can sort him a chair. Men like that rely on women being nice and polite and I am so far over it now. Eventually the bloke would have worried your husband might be bigger than him and buggered off.