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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that parent who know their kids have a contagious illness still mix with my children

76 replies

my2boys · 07/04/2008 22:59

My children were at my inlaws for one night over the weekend. Their cousins came to see them during the day. When I picked children up and they were at home I was told by my DH that his mother had said the other two kids had just got over conjuntivitis. My eldest 3 yr old has since been sick all night and my youngest 21 months was taken to the doctor today and diagnosed with conjuctivitis which is very contagious ! I am hopping mad at my selfish irresponsible sister in law and her attitude she has the gall to tell us not to go near her precious kids a week or so before she went on holiday as she didnt want them to catch anything from mine. Mine were perfectly healthy..........

OP posts:
itsahardknocklife · 07/04/2008 23:05

YANBU. I would be furious too. They obviously hadn't just got over it if they were still contagious.

mumofdjandbabies · 07/04/2008 23:08

thats very annoying! sadly happens all the time............

itsahardknocklife · 07/04/2008 23:09

yeah, like snotty coughing kids in playcentres I guess.

handlemecarefully · 07/04/2008 23:11

Tbh I can't get overly excited about conjuctivitis

mumofdjandbabies · 07/04/2008 23:13

My sons had it recently the baby was distressed he had it really badly and it was really gunked up and red and sore poor chap, took aggggesss to shift too!

soapbox · 07/04/2008 23:13

You don't get sick with conjunctivitis do you?

I think it is one of those low grade illnesses tbh. In fact I think the current medical advice is that there is no need to exclude children with it, from school or nursery.

Wouldn't cross my mind to be bothered about it.

edam · 07/04/2008 23:18

Conjunctivitis is horrid, hard to treat in babies and young children and very infectious so YANBU at all. But the sickness is probably just a coincidence.

Soapy, doesn't make a difference whether you, as a parent, think conjunctivitis is just one of those things or not. It's about warning other people before a visit so they can decide whether they want to run the risk. OP's MIL should have asked OP.

alwaysnamechangeforaibu · 07/04/2008 23:20

no you aren't sick with conjuctivitis, and whilst on the whole, i agree that kids pick up all sorts and should be exposed to certain things in order to buid immunity i would be seriously annoyed if mine was exposed to conjunctivitis. it is higly contagious and can be very nasty and can lead to corneal scarring

handlemecarefully · 07/04/2008 23:26

corneal scarring only a possibility for newborns under 28 days according to this:

www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/articles/article.aspx?ArticleId=110#

Basically for all but the very very young it is no biggie!

soapbox · 07/04/2008 23:31

No the point of my post Edam was that as the SIL if my children were just over a bout of conjunctivitis it wouldn't have crossed my mind to mention it to the OP. as I wouldn't have seen it as a big deal. Possibly her SIL felt the same.

handlemecarefully · 07/04/2008 23:31

Same here

edam · 07/04/2008 23:34

Well, I'd be bloody grumpy, if my SIL sent her kids over with conjunctivitis. Just as I'd be grumpy if someone said, while picking up their child from a play date 'Oh, he vomited three times last night but he was absolutely fine this morning...'

Ds had conjunctivitis several times as a baby/toddler and it was miserable. He was so uncomfortable and it was a bloody nightmare trying to get the drops into his eyes. Wouldn't inflict that on anyone else if I could avoid it.

edam · 07/04/2008 23:35

With ds, the pus was dripping out of his eyes - as fast as I wiped them, more was coming. I had to limit wiping in order not to make him any more sore. Maybe your children were older/less troubled by it, I dunno.

handlemecarefully · 07/04/2008 23:39

Yes perhaps - I guess we would do well to consider that children experience the same illness in very different ways

Heated · 07/04/2008 23:44

I wouldn't be best pleased. Ds, dd and I have all had conjunctivitis and it is achy and uncomfortable. I'd be even more narked by the double standards of SIL.

Trolleydolly71 · 08/04/2008 00:01

Message withdrawn

handlemecarefully · 08/04/2008 00:02

Did you read the link from NHS Direct trolley dolly?

nappyaddict · 08/04/2008 02:27

would you also inform visitors if you had a bit of a cold or a sore throat? i don't think i would. i might mention it in passing but not oh just so you know ds has a cold so it's up to you if you want to come or not.

alwaysnamechangeforaibu · 08/04/2008 06:21

the nhs link says those "most at risk of complications" are newborns but that is not exclusive to them and personally i wouldn't take the risk.

alwaysnamechangeforaibu · 08/04/2008 06:22

admittedly would be more peed off about the double standards of sil as someone else has already said

Trolleydolly71 · 08/04/2008 08:23

Message withdrawn

belgo · 08/04/2008 08:24

If anyone thinks conjuntivitis isn't a problem, catch it yourself and you'll realise how painful it is and how long it takes for it to clear up.

edam · 08/04/2008 08:30

Thanks handlemecarefully - it was the same each time he got it, very distressed baby/toddler, with pus running down his eyes, screaming first thing in the morning when his eyes were stuck together and fighting the drops. Dh had to hold him down while I tried to prise his eyes open. It was horrible.

I was very surprised a couple of people said it was 'no big deal'. It was for ds. Maybe it's easier in older children - at least you can explain to them what's going on, a toddler just knows he feels bloody awful and wants it to stop.

Maybe the NHS advice about not staying off school reflects a drive to limit school absence. Or maybe staying off school doesn't make any difference to the duration of the illness. Or possibly they think 'even if children are off school, they will still pass it around unless you isolate them.' Or a combination of the above. Doesn't make it any less infectious or any less miserable.

Lulumama · 08/04/2008 08:36

i had conjunctivitis, it was agony ! felt like my eyes were being rubbed with hot gravel , really, really sore, so i would like the option of knowing if my DCs are going to be exposed to it.

i agree with edam on this one

SoupDragon · 08/04/2008 08:45

According to the MIL the children didn't have conjunctivitis, they'd just got over it.