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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that parent who know their kids have a contagious illness still mix with my children

76 replies

my2boys · 07/04/2008 22:59

My children were at my inlaws for one night over the weekend. Their cousins came to see them during the day. When I picked children up and they were at home I was told by my DH that his mother had said the other two kids had just got over conjuntivitis. My eldest 3 yr old has since been sick all night and my youngest 21 months was taken to the doctor today and diagnosed with conjuctivitis which is very contagious ! I am hopping mad at my selfish irresponsible sister in law and her attitude she has the gall to tell us not to go near her precious kids a week or so before she went on holiday as she didnt want them to catch anything from mine. Mine were perfectly healthy..........

OP posts:
edam · 08/04/2008 22:59

Oh, bergen, that's really unfair! Sod's law and all that...

edam · 08/04/2008 22:59

(unfair situation I mean)

soapbox · 09/04/2008 10:30

Irony or ironies - I now have flipping conjunctivitis
But the children haven't got it - so God knows where it came from!

soapbox · 09/04/2008 10:31

That should say - irony of ironies!

bergentulip · 09/04/2008 12:13

You caught it off my DS sitting on my knee over here- it's catching, don't you know..

suey2 · 09/04/2008 12:18

this happened to me last week the other way around. I feel terrible. i assumed that since my LO had been having the ABx for 3 days that she would no longer be contagious- i am really scared to ring my friend now (who has a 6 month old baby) to check the baby is ok. oops

Lazycow · 09/04/2008 12:36

I am seriously confused here . If a child HAD conjunctivitis a week ago and is now showing no symptoms then surely they are OK and I would see no need to warn anyone about it.

If a child has no symptoms of any illness now and the last symptoms were several days ago, most people would quite reasonably assume they were no longer contagious- Well I would anyway.

Also being sick at night is not a sign of conjunctivitis as far as I know so I would assume that whatever your 3 year old has was probably picked up before the weekend.

Original poster
my2boys · 10/04/2008 15:34

Perhaps I am not being clear here but I, as my childrens mother was not informed that the other kids had had conjunctivitis until 24 hours after we left. We were first told by the mil that it was three weeks ago then we were told 2 weeks ago then we were told about 1 wk ago ! It could have been a few days ago. Why even mention it if you feel that they are not contagious. The fact remains the same that my children were fine before they went there and within 24 hours of coming home they were not. I am not saying my 3 year olds sickness is due to conjuctivitis but my Doctor confirmed my 21 month old has it now in both eyes and is being treated for it. It is very contagious. I do not think it is unreasonable for my sil to have a little respect and manners to mention this to me before her kids were in contact with mine. As it is very nasty to tell us to keep away from her kids 2 wks before they go on holiday just in case they catch something, my children were well !

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 10/04/2008 17:14

DS1 got his first bout of conjunctivitis falling face first ina puddle at the duck pond.

Obviously I had the ducks shot, fried and wrapped in pancakes with hoi sin sauce as a punishment.

hercules1 · 10/04/2008 17:18

Sorry I think you are overreacting. Both my kids have had it several times and so have I. If I were your sil and it had passed I wouldnt think to mention it either. Kids still go to school and nursery with it so you're going to find it pretty hard to avoid.

Countingthegreyhairs · 10/04/2008 17:40

Just found this on net:

If conjunctivitis is due to a bacterial infection, it is contagious until the eyes are no longer red and there is no discharge (this may be after several days without treatment, or about 24 hours after starting effective treatment.)

If the conjunctivitis is due to a viral infection, it may take several days before the eyes are clear, and the person is infectious until the eyes are back to normal.

Therefore YANBU imo. As Riven says, people shouldn't decide for others, always best to be on safe side and mention it.

My nephew has just had a horrible bout of conjunctivitis - he's been really miserable with it - and he's 13 not a toddler!

hercules1 · 10/04/2008 17:42

So what do you suggest should happen with children of school age? Should we make sure letters get sent home to all parents each time a child has it?

Countingthegreyhairs · 10/04/2008 18:42

Rushing 'cos bedtime here (1 hr ahead UK) ...

Fair point Hercules, obviously less clear-cut for older children - that's up to individual schools -but op wasn't about that - nor was my response

Where it IS possible to give parents notice of possible contagious illness, think it is only fair/olite to do so

Flame · 10/04/2008 18:47

She thought they were over it.

It isn't like she wiped pus from her child's eye into yours.

Your child might have been brewing the vomitting thing and passed it onto them too

Original poster
my2boys · 10/04/2008 20:15

Flame and hercules 1 I think your missing the point........

OP posts:
PuhPeng · 10/04/2008 20:26

Hijack - if conjunctivitis is really bad news for tiny babies, and I currently have it and my due date is 6 days away... should I be worried? Should I be doing something?

Nyeh · 10/04/2008 20:34

It would not occur to me to mention an illness I thought that my child had gotten over.

Original poster
my2boys · 10/04/2008 20:39

Nyeh thats the point they obviously hadnt got over it and we were told 3 different versions as to when they did have it, first 3 wks ago the 2wks ago the about a week ...obviousy not

OP posts:
LilyMunster · 10/04/2008 22:19

ok so the double standards would piss me off.

but given that my dc are not immunity deficient, it would not occur to me to be upset with someone who unwittingly exposed my dc to conmjunctivitis.
and C only gets bad if you leave it after you spot it. if you act fast, you can catch it before it gets sore/sticky.

like flame said, its not like she rubbed it in their eyes.

i guess its fair to warn people IF you think theres any danger still.

but on the whole, my response to this whole furore is; nyeh.

edam · 10/04/2008 22:28

Puhpeng, I'm sure you'll be recovered by the time you have your baby (good luck, btw!).

Lily, I'm afraid your belief that it 'only gets bad if you leave it after you spot it' just ain't true IME. Ds once came down with conjunctivitis at a friend's house - he was fine when we got there and for the first couple of hours, then bang, suddenly there was discharge flooding out of his eyes. Of course I didn't just sit around saying 'ooh, should I do anything about it or just ignore it'.

LilyMunster · 10/04/2008 22:30

oh ok.

just ime then.

am sorry to hear your dc was so sore.

edam · 10/04/2008 22:34

Thanks Lily, sorry for being tetchy but ds had it several times and it was bloody miserable. I'm glad some children obviously have it much more mildly, but I think that must be luck rather than good nursing.

Original poster
my2boys · 10/04/2008 22:37

Maybe I'm really being unclear but....... my children were not unwittingly exposed to anything, the were exposed to an infectious child very wittingly as why would you even mention and change the story "oh by the way, so and so had conjuctivitis er 3 wks ago oh no 2 wks ago oh no it was only last week...."anyway my little fella is responding to ab's and is not fazed by it, hes a little angel and just carries on with a smile on his face hes had to battle through alot worse.

OP posts:
LilyMunster · 10/04/2008 22:46

youre welcome edam. sorry for casting unwitting aspertions on your nursing abilities. you are undoubtedly way better at all that stuff then me

edam · 11/04/2008 09:48

I doubt it - my sister actually is a proper nurse and told me recently when we get old, I'd better hope I'm the one who gets Alzheimer's, as then she can look after me. If it's the other way round we are buggered because I'd make a crap nurse, apparently...