Yes I know it’s been done before! Stepchild and wedding

[EWAB]

I know we’ve had the same thread before but I’m hurting.

In-laws have known my 24 year old since they were 7 I.e. longer than they’ve known my youngest son.

Two of partner’s nieces are getting married. DP and I are invited with my youngest but not eldest.

These nieces are almost a decade older than my youngest but nearer in age to eldest who they do know and one even socialises with him occasionally as they have mutual friends.

These nieces are cousins themselves not sisters so I wonder if they discussed his exclusion.

Partner and youngest definitely want to go to both of these weddings.

Considering they've even invited second cousins I would consider whether there's something you're not aware of. Maybe he's been creepy or nasty in some way which a mother wouldn't see. Otherwise it seems odd that both would exclude him whilst inviting more distant relatives.

There is absolutely nothing creepy about my son whatsoever!
Anyway DP’s brother has now said his daughter isn’t inviting any ‘steps’ and is blaming his ex. His newish wife has kids who aren’t invited but they met later in life and have never lived together.
I don’t know what excuse the other bride will come up with.
I will have absolutely nothing to do with any of them again.

So the relationship is disposable to you? Guess they feel the same way.

My SIL pulled this crap of selective wedding inviting, without warning. Leaving out certain people, often just one cousin in a family or aunt/uncle etc. It split the entire family. Ten years on most family still don't speak to SIL, or only if at a function etc. SIL still maintains it wasn't her fault.

I understand not having anything to do with them again - my cousin's DD excluded DD & I from her 21st (DH & DS were away). The only local family excluded. Excluded people she'd known her whole life, too. I was incredibly hurt, and, tbh, hurt my own parents still went & no one, despite her own (paying) parents expressing embarrassment we'd been excluded, said anything to her. It seems no one will pull this 'me' generation up when they're being selfish arseholes. I'll see her next weekend at a family function & will just ignore her. I'm too hurt.